Friday, December 31, 2010

Amazing

,2010 has been an amazing year for me. I've changed so much, not just in appearance but in my heart. I know God has been doing some great work in there and is continuing to change me. I am not sad to see 2010 go. I do not have a list of New Years resolutions to accomplish. Yet, I'm so excited for 2011 and the changes that God is going to continue to bring into my life and into my heart.

Of course, I still have so many adventures I want to accomplish. So many goals and dreams to dream. The inner-athlete is alive, awake and well.

I pray God blesses each and everyone of you in 2011 and that you see your life for what it is, a gift from God. I pray that he provides you strength and peace to meet and exceed in any challenge you may face. I pray that life is not only what you want out of it, but it is God's will being done.



Oh and I ended the year right. I got to the gym today and swam laps for about 30 minutes. It felt so good to be doing something active again.

Dec 2009

Nov 2010



Bring on 2011. :)

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Getting on track

Getting back on track is going to take more than just the desire to get on track. It's going to take more than just "talk" about being back on track. I've let in a lot of carbs, sugar and other junk food into my diet the last couple of weeks. For me, that means I'm going to be fighting cravings again.

I'm still limited in what I can do physically. I'm going to start swimming this week but that gym is 30 minutes away so I won't be able to swim daily, maybe just a couple of times a week if I'm lucky.

I also have both of my kids home from school, so it's going to take some extra effort and planning to get a workout in. It's also means I am going to have to work up my endurance and build up my strength to what it was. I know this is going to take time.

Getting back on track with my food will be easier in some ways and harder in others. I haven't brought a lot of food into our house lately. I need to go grocery shopping. Thus, only healthy and diet friendly foods will be coming in. So why is it going to be harder, you ask? I've gotten used to eating out again. Hard habit to break. And the cravings...

Good news is things are really starting to come through with our investment. But money will get tighter before it gets better. Which can only help us to eat at home. I know if I want to get back on track, kick 180's behind and reach my goals I am going to need to get right with my food, work hard and pray for strength to stay on track.

Yesterdays meals:

Oatmeal for breakfast
Clam Chowder for lunch
Meat loaf, Broccoli and Mashed Potatoes for dinner.

Yeah not the best food choices but I'm working on it. It was so cold and rainy and Richard had been begging for meat loaf for a long time and it really isn't that bad of a choice. Plus I kept portions under control especially with the mashed potatoes. The girls and Rich loved dinner and that always feels good too.

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Weighing In

I held myself accountable today for all the goodness the holidays had to offer. The treats, coookies, fudge, warm apple cider, fatty fried dinners and even the 3 times I got Starbucks this month ( tall size only :)

I can't remember the last time I stepped on the scale but it's been a while. Judging from my blog, it was back in November. I know I was teetering between 185-188 lbs. I can feel that I've gained some weight, I can see it ever so slightly on my body, face and arms. I can tell by the way my clothes are fitting differently. These are the first signs of weight gain and it's with these that I am going to do something about it. I'm back and re-energized.

Today's weigh in wasn't as bad as I thought it could be 189 lbs. I'm thankful I didn't hit the 190's mark but to be honest, 180's I'm not in love with you. I don't want to be with you any more and I'm ready to move on. It's been good while I'm here but I deserve better and can do better. I think it's time we should see other people. ;-)

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Merry Christmas

I hope each and everyone of you were filled with the spirit of Christmas and blessings.

My family and I had a a very wonderful Christmas. Christmas has given me so much. So many wonderful memories were made. I baked and I baked and I baked... 11 dozen cookies and a batch of fudge this week alone. My niece and nephew came over and baked cookies for Santa with the girls and I. We gave 2 dozen of them to my parents as part of their gift. I sent 2 dozen home with the kids for Santa at their house. I brought 2 dozen to a holiday gathering at my other sisters. Another dozen to my father in law. I gave some more to a friend... and yeah we had a lot too.

We were incredibly blessed this Christmas. I was blessed with several new outfits, new boots, a new coat and running gear. I can't wait to run again.

I haven't stepped on the scale but I'm sure I've also been blessed with a few extra pounds to re-lose and a clear determined mind to start exercising again. I'm excited, not about the pounds of course, but excited to get back on track. I think I am going to start going to a different gym (temporarily) and swim. My mom gave me a 45 day trial pass (free), and I really think this will help a lot. I'm also going to start back with yoga. As I gain strength I will return to cycle, running and weight training. To keep me motivated, I'm going to start planning for the 2011 season. I see a few runs and triathlons in my future.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

I've let go

I've let go. I've let go of my expectations of myself, I've let go of the diet. I've let go of my time line to be back at the gym.

I've spent the last several weeks feeling sort of normal. I haven't weighed myself in over a month - AND I'm ok with that. Last year, I dieted through the holidays and missed out on a lot of things. This year, I'm missing out on nothing. But that doesn't mean I'm binging at every moment.

My eating habits have changed and I can make healthier choices and stop when I've full. But that doesn't mean that I don't indulge either. Come January, I will be back to watching everything I eat. Whether or not I'm back at the gym.

My ankle is healing. It's a slow process. I can get around now. It's slightly swollen still. I keep it wrapped most of the time, but it's slowly getting stronger every day. I think I'm going to try yoga soon. But I'm not ready for running or spinning any time soon. I know I still have a long time to heal and it's already been 3 weeks.

I've had a lot of family stuff going on, investment stuff and of course all the Christmas stuff going on too. Probably a lot like all of you. I've had so many times I just wanted / needed to go running. I just can't and I know it. The other day, I was so angry I needed a good long run. I honestly debated trying but I knew it was stupid of me to even think about doing it. I had a nice long chat with a friend instead.

I miss my gym friends, I miss my life. I can't wait to be better again.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Prayer

My monthly mom's bible study was today and the topic was prayer. It was such a helpful topic for me. My prayers are always generic, always basic, always say the same thing. Really, though it's not my will I should be praying for, it's God's. I want his will to be done in my life.

If that means, it takes me longer to get to goal weight, I'm fine with that. If that means my injury teaches me a lesson in humility so be it. If that means, I stumble through this trial, I know I'm not alone. After all, isn't it the pray-er who changes, rather than the prayer that way. Jesus once prayed "not my will Lord, but Yours be done" Luke 22:42.

My entire journey has been goal focused and driven by meeting them. I've had a lot of success thus far. People have looked to me as an example, and a shinning star. Really though, it's not my success. It's Gods. Deep in my soul, I know he is using me right now. I'm sure of it. Deep in my soul, I know I'm different not because of me or who I am but because of who he is.

With that said, I know I'm struggling with dieting and not exercising. I know I need prayer about this. I know that I first must pray and tell God my needs, even though he already knows. I give him my injury. I give him my anguish. I have not given up on him, or on my self. This is just a bump in the road. I will take a valuable lesson and be blessed by this.

Monday, December 13, 2010

All or Nothing

Yeah... that's me. I'm all or nothing, a good thing if I'm in. But, not so much if I'm not. There really is no in between and when it comes to dieting that's not good either.

My ankle is still jacked up. I'm starting to think there is a strong possibility it's broke. Due to a conversation with a friend PA and my symptoms. Since I don't have insurance I have been avoiding going to the doctor, trying to self medicate and treat. I've been keeping my ankle wrapped 24/7 since the fall only to unwrap to shower/change/etc. I ice and elevate every night and rest it as much as possible.

My food intake has been bad. VERY bad. Like I can careless bad. I see my middle quickly expanding. I can barely walk so most exercise is completely out of the question. I'm in a funk, I know. I'm an all or nothing person and right now, unfortunately, it's nothing.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Too Much Too Soon

Mondays are often struggles for me. I struggle with finding the motivation to get out of the house and back to the gym after the weekend. I always feel so accomplished one I'm there. Yesterday, was no different and I got a great workout, Spin in.

I had a busy day Christmas shopping. I've spent the entire weekend shopping but didn't really buy anything, I had my girls with me and just wanted to get ideas for everyone. I made a Costco trip and went to the mall before I had to pick up my daughter from school. We got our Christmas tree yesterday too. It's so pretty.

After the girls went to bed, I went for my run with Zumara. My ankle had been doing fine. No soreness at all and it felt stronger. All day, I kept thinking it was healed. About a mile into our run, I hear a Popping and grinding sound. My ankle was unstable, it hurt and it couldn't support my weight. I sat there, in agony, and cried. I had Zumara call Richard to come pick me up. I couldn't talk it hurt so bad. There was no way I would have made it home on my own.

I'm so disappointed in my self and with my body. No run is worth an injury and now, I've re-injured myself worse than the original injury. Why? I push myself hard. I pushed myself too hard too soon. Obviously, my body wasn't ready for running yet and I thought I could do it. Too much too soon.

This injury means, no Holiday run this weekend in Venice/Santa Monica with the rest of my family. This injury probably means no running for the rest of December. This injury probably means no half marathon January 2nd.

I struggled so much last week to get back into things after taking time off last time. Then, to be taking more time off not only with running but at the gym. It's going to set me back. I'm going to have to build up my running abilities again. Not to mention the struggles I will have with my weight loss. It's disappointing to say the least.

Friday, December 3, 2010

Early Mornings

4:50 am - Yeah, that is the time I got up and went to the gym this morning. Cycle promptly starts at 5:30 am. I know you have to get there at 5:15 to get a ticket and ensure a bike. I don't do mornings, I am not a morning person. I'm a night owl, I was awake until after midnight. I woke up several times in the night, afraid I was going to be late this morning. I love early morning cycle, but it's hard for me to GET up.

Cycle was great though, we had a sub, Don. I've never tried Don but I've heard great things about him. He was very motivating and a great instructor. I've never had a male instructor before - and he was easy on the eyes even at 5:30am ;-) ha ha

I pushed myself hard. I was so full of energy when I left the gym. I went to the store to buy stuff to cook for breakfast, you know surprise the family before they woke up. Chorrizo and eggs -- YUM! The only way I eat eggs is Chorrizo and eggs.

By 8:05 am I had already gotten up, completed a cycle class, went to the store, cooked my family breakfast, gotten both of my girls up ready and off to school, drove my hubby to work and come home. I was full of energy ... but it wasn't long before the exhaustion of lack of sleep kicked in and I fell asleep again, cuddled in my bed around 8:45 am. The kids are gone, the house is clean (well minus the breakfast dishes) and I didn't have anything in particular planned. So why not catch up on my rest and face the day at an hour I when I'm ready?

I've been contemplating my schedule a lot lately. Soon, I am going to have to go back to work. There really isn't any option about it. When it happens, what will my training schedule look like? Where will my gym time go? What about my running? And all the things that are important to me, like my weight loss and bible study time?

I know God doesn't want me to worry about these things but I do feel the need to plan for them. The only way I know I will be able to make it to the gym is to do it before the kids go to school, before I will have to go to work. That means, despite my complete and udder disdain for waking up early, I will have to. I will have to take advantage of the 5:30 am classes, early morning workouts and still evening and weekend runs. That's just the way it is. I've accepted it.

Finally Friday

It's Friday already and I realize I haven't posted since I said I was back at it on Tuesday. That doesn't mean I fell off the wagon again though.

I've been busy busting my fat at the gym every day since. I'm trying to get back into my regular routine. It's wearing me out! Seriously, I've had to take a nap almost every day because after the adrenaline rush is gone, I'm just exhausted from all that hard work! I can't help but take a nap.

You would think that I could do all the same things I did before my injury with no problem jumping right back in. It really hasn't been **that** long.

My gym friend Laura told me this week that I am very dedicated and hardworking once I've chosen to do something. It's true, I've always felt this way about myself but it's feels different when someone else says it about you. Which got me to thinking about my journey...

I can seriously go months without slipping up, with out cheating on my diet, with out missing an opportunity to exercise. But I am an all or nothing type of person. You either get all of my efforts, or none. There really is no in between.

Since my injury, I haven't been able to exercise, so I didn't care what I ate. It's true I made some really bad choices that I wouldn't have made if I had been going to the gym. When I'm exercising, I really think about my food choices and if they are worth the hardworking and calorie burning I did at the gym. Most of the time, it keeps me inline with my eating.

When I'm not at the gym, I don't think like that. I can't explain why but the thought doesn't occur to me. Yeah I know I'm not making great choices and I'm not moving more. So I because I'm not exercising I think I'm not going to lose weight anyways because . . . Even though I know weight loss is primarily DIET and secondarily exercise. You can be fit and still be FAT or you can be skinny and be out of shape. It all depends on how frequently you exercise. I'm there, I know it. I can exercise many skinny people... Someday soon, I hope to just be fit.

So what does this all mean, to me? This all or nothing business? My eating habits have greatly improved since I started my journey. I eat until I'm no longer hungry, I do not eat until I'm stuffed or even until I'm "full". I can control my portions. I can enjoy snacks in moderation but I still struggle with sweets. In fact, I think sweets are my biggest hang up because once I get some in my system, my mind craves for more, more and more. It takes a lot of willpower and discipline to get back on track for me and sweets. Moderation by a dieters standards is virtually non-existent. I really need to refocus here, with my sweet intake. Am I ready to do it yet? To be honest, I don't know. Mentally I can want to be skinnier, I can want to eat better all the time but I really have to want it in order to do it. This journey has been so much more to be than becoming skinnier, it's becoming healthier, happier and more spiritual too.

This weeks exercise schedule:

Monday: Running/Walk 3 miles
Tuesday: Body Pump and Cycle
Wednesday: Cycle
Thursday: Body Pump and Cycle
Friday: Cycle (5:30 am)

I did planks once this week and will be doing more today and over the weekend. I want to get in the routine of cycle and abs on Weds with Running Weds night.

Oh and I got to talking to someone at the gym this morning about running, she invited me to go running with her and a group just outside of town they do hill training on the weekends. I'm excited and hope I can join.

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Back in the Saddle Again

After my sidelining injury over two weeks ago, I went back to the gym today. It was so hard to convince myself to go. Yet felt so good just to be there. My ankle is still slightly swollen and slightly bruised but it no longer hurts. It just feels weak.

I've ran on it twice since the fall. Thanksgiving day and last night. Both times about 3 miles. My first half marathon is coming up soon, January 2nd and I need to be ready. It's only about 5 weeks away.

The Santa Monica - Venice Christmas Run
is coming up even sooner on December 11th. I'm debating which run to sign up for the 10K which is a more challenging distance or the 5K that the rest of the family is doing. In all honesty, I'd really like to do both. My reasoning is I won't feel satisfied with just running a 5K as it's not challenging enough for me BUT Mariyn (and a lot of our family) is going to run it so I want to run it and support her. To run both would be really good training for my half marathon . . . as you can see, I'm torn.

Today, I did body pump and cycle. I haven't weighed in and I don't really want to. I didn't want to face the damage today and be a downer. I might weigh in tomorrow. One of my friends at the gym said I was looking thinner. I don't really think that is even possible. I was fairly active painting my house, working on projects and cleaning but I know I didn't make the best food choices and I know how important diet is.

Since my ankle was still weak and it's been 3 weeks since I've done any weight training, I didn't lift as heavy as I normally do. I still pushed myself though, in cycle I could feel my ankle was getting tired and worn out but not sore. Did I mention it felt so good to go back to my normal routine? I missed my workouts, my gym friend and I think they missed me. It's good to be back and besides being sidelined due to pain, I really think I needed the break to mentally re-charge it was a good break.

A lot of ladies at the gym are getting certified to become body pump instructors and cycle instructors. Part of me really wants to do this, but the other part of me doesn't. It's so expensive and just not practical (time or financially) for us right now with our investment coming along. One day, I'd love to do some sort of personal or group training for women who want to achieve their goals by completing events like triathlons or runs. I really think I'd love it and could be good at it... but I have to get more accomplishments under my belt too.

Monday, November 29, 2010

Post Thanksgiving

While most diet bloggers were making plans to survive the holiday, I was not. Intentionally, I did not plan. Is this failure to plan, essentially planning to fail? We will have to wait it out and see. Last year, I dieted during the holidays and I do not regret it. I did great. This year, I did not want to restrict myself. I wanted to enjoy Thanksgiving for a holiday it truly is meant to be, a feast surrounded by family. So I did. No guilt involved.

We celebrated Thanksgiving at our house this year. My younger sister helped me prepare my house by painting and cleaning all week. We picked a pale but cheery yellow and finally painted the kitchen. Only took 18 months to do it, but now my kitchen looks great -well for my kitchen. Before my kitchen barely looked live-able now it looks lovely. Well except the flooring from the 70's that I would love to be able to replace. I worked hard on my house from the time I woke up and got the kids off to school until 11pm and night when I was ready for bed all week. I was exhausted by the time family actually started to arrive on Weds night.,

I didn't make it to the gym at all. I miss it but my ankle wasn't healed all the way and I was busy. My ankle is still slightly swollen but feeling stronger. Thursday morning, Adrienne at Chronicles of a Curvy Housewife and I ran the Turkey Trot 5K. I was really worried about my ankle and being able to complete it.


Above: Mariyn and I by the start line
Below: Davey, Adrienne and I before the race.





There were so many people at the Turkey Trot, my guess nearly 2000 runners (kids included). It was freezing cold but still had a great turn out. The cold air felt like ice hitting your lungs, at times it hurt. It was non-electronic timing with a cross country style start and so the results aren't exact. There was a lot of congestion at both the start and finish line. So it took away from peoples time, mine included. The clock stated 30 mins 9 seconds when I crossed the finish line. That my friends, even with a bum ankle is my personal record. It's been several months since I've ran a timed 5K. Mariyn ran the 1/2 mile kids run, she was so cold but had a lot of fun. She was very proud of her finishers medal and her cousins were envious.
Mariyn post race with her medal and grandma.

Thanksgiving went off without a hitch. 12 people in my home a delicious meal. It had all the traditional fatty items like mashed potatoes, gravy and stuffing plus a few new healthier treats like my cauliflower broccoli cranberry salad. I enjoyed the day. Just like I wanted to because really, it's not Thanksgiving Day that makes you fat. Is it? It's the over eating and lack of moving every other day of the year. It's the feasting on the leftovers until you are stuffed to the gills. It's the lack of self control to say no thank you to food and the lack of motivation to get you off the couch to exercise. It's the every day choice we make that contribute to our lifestyle. I'm not going to fret over on what I ate for Thanksgiving. I ate a lot, I was active and I'm moving on.

Quite frankly I know I'm not at goal weight but with God's grace I will soon be.
I however AM living a healthy lifestyle each and every day. Isn't that what being at goal is all about?
Thanksgiving Day post feast.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Hot 100 Update Week 8

Here is my crummy update but I'm holding myself accountable:

*Lose the 30 lbs

UPDATE: Weigh in yesterday, 188 lbs. I'm seriously having bowel issues and retaining water. I can feel it in my whole body. I don't think it's real weight gain but it is reflecting on the scale.

* Fit into a size 8
UPDATE: One of my BFF's gave me a pair of banana republic size 6 slacks, I can get them on over my hips and butt but I can't button them yet. I'm willing to be that if they were an 8 I could squeeze into them.

* Increase my running mileage.
UPDATE: Injured my ankle running Sunday afternoon. I got in few good runs last week, including the trail/hills run that I fell on. Once I'm healed I will go back.

I will have to wait until this heals until I can attempt to run again. Instead, I am going to be working on my plank challenge and push ups while I have to be off of my foot. Then, I will move into cycling and back to running when ready.

Monday, November 15, 2010

Injured

I'm admitting it. I'm injured. My ankle is swollen and sore. The top of my foot is bruised. I can walk on it but it hurts. I was going to take pictures but Rich left the camera in his work truck. So no pics today...

This morning it hurt so bad I didn't want to get out of bed but I did. I got my daughter up and ready for school, then went back to bed with an ice pack and ibuprofen. I slept about an hour longer, when I woke up it felt better. Not 100% but enough to get around.

I had to go to the bank today and Walmart. Walmart isn't exactly a trip you want to do with a sore ankle but we are out of so much stuff at home, it had to be done. When I got home, my ankle was done. My house is such a mess, I needed to do dishes. I had to do them before I could cook or do anything in the kitchen. So I did and yeah then I was done standing on my ankle. Rich was hungry, it was dinner time and kid's eat free at our favorite restaurant. It didn't take much effort to convince me. I got a Mexican Shrimp and Chicken Cesar Salad, so at least I made a healthy choice. I'm alternating ice and heat now combined with ibuprofen. I'm hoping for improvement tomorrow.

I didn't go to the gym today. I'm not sure when I'll be able to go again. I don't think my ankle is that bad but it's just bad enough to be painfully annoying. And bad enough that I know I need to give it a rest or it could get worse. I'm clumsy and I often injure my ankles. The extra weight probably doesn't help at all combined with old injuries from softball, soccer and random mishaps. I've had worse ankle injuries but it's never fun to be sidelined due to injury.

On a positive note, this will give me more time to work on the plank challenge. I said I would do planks 3 times a week and well, haven't followed through. Maybe I'll add some push ups and have a little at home strength training routine. Sounds like a plan to me.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Weekend Wrap Up


Covered Bridge in Knights Ferry, CA


I've had a good weekend. As I mentioned before, my girls had Thursday and Friday off because of Veteran's Day. I'm so thankful for all our vets have done and I'm really thankful to have had an extra couple days with my girls. We spent time with my aunt and her family. Adrienne (my cousins wife) at Chronicles of a Curvy Housewife and I got to spend time together too. It was nice and she is looking much trimmer than last time I saw her. We went on a nice bike ride, I rode one of my aunt's bikes. Kinda funny riding someone else's bike but it was good. Our kids got to play together and had so much fun. Amelia loved Shane. So cute.

Thursday night I had dinner with two of my very bestest friends. My girls stayed with my Aunt and family so it felt like an official girls night out. We had sushi and I'm pretty sure it was healthy (or disguised as) and I didn't over eat. After dinner, we went back to my friend's house and she gave me a bunch of shirts. I felt so incredibly blessed and thankful. They're super cute too! My younger sister, Ricki bought me a few new shirts this week too. So I'm far less stressed about having clothes to wear. I feel so loved, so thankful and so blessed. God is so good and he does provide for all of our needs.

The girls and I came home Friday night and spend Saturday around the house relaxing, it felt really good. We went to a craft fair and seen an old friend. She had to tell me about my high school sweet heart and what he is up to. Let's just say I feel so incredibly thankful for my life and blessed. The whole, thanking God for unanswered prayers. It really puts perspective on my life and how good it is.

I went running this afternoon in Knights Ferry with Zumara. It's such a beautiful place along the river, rustic, peaceful and full of nature's beauty. Bonus it's not too far away from home. I'm not sure how far we ran but we did a lot of trails and hill work. It was so beautiful and the hills were pretty steep. The terrain was comparable with our mud run but probably steeper (with the exception of one hill) but we both handled it a lot better. It felt easier probably because we knew what to expect and are familiar with the area.
Knights Ferry is a historic place and is so beautiful. There were A LOT of photographers out there doing portraits tonight, at least 3 different parties if not more. Must be that holiday time of year, getting ready to send out the family photos and Christmas cards.

The run felt good and peaceful. We seen a family of deer too so we stopped and watched them for a while. We ran for about an hour and 15 minutes, who knows how many miles it's not an area you can easily map. We ran until sunset and started heading back. About 100 feet before the end of the trail, I fell to the ground. I lost footing on some rocks and my ankle gave out. It's sore and swollen but not injured too bad. I think I'll have to rest it but I'll be back to training soon. This is the exact reason, I do not like to run alone. You never know when you are going to get hurt and will need help. Luckily, I was able to get back up (it took a minute) and we were just about done with our run. I hobbled back to the car and have been babying my ankle all night. I'm sure I will see the real damage in the morning. I see more cycle and less running in my future this week. Even though I hurt myself, the run was incredible and I hope to be able to do it again soon. Zumara enjoyed it too.


I need to get better shoes for trail running, regular running shoes just don't provide the support you want/need on trails.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Hot 100 - Week 7

* Lose the 30 lbs

UPDATE: Weigh in yesterday, 187 lbs - 2 pounds heavier than last week. See the yo-yo affect.

* Fit into a size 8
UPDATE: Not there yet... but I'm getting smaller. I notice a lot of my jeans are feeling bigger.

* Increase my running mileage.

UPDATE: I ran several nights last week. Normally after a running event, we are sluggish to start back up running in routine. Zumara and I both feel like we need to incorporate more hills in our runs to prepare us for our half marathon. We are hoping to do so on the weekends.

Maybe

I haven't really felt the need to blog as much lately. I'm not sure why, maybe I'm slacking but I haven't given up. Maybe I don't feel like I'm doing anything different and thus have nothing to talk about... I've been a little busier lately and maybe just haven't found the time. Maybe I'm just burnt out and need a break. Maybe I'm just feeling a little less motivated and maybe a little too comfortable... maybe?

Whatever the reason is, or combination there of I realize I haven't been as dedicated to blogging or as dedicated to my diet and exercise routine. I'm still doing both but not with the same intensity. Yesterday, weigh in was 187, 2 lbs up from the week before. I'm not at all bothered by it either. Odd.

The last several weeks, I've been going three steps forward on the scale to fall two steps back lately. I'm pretty sure it's water weight as I still have been working out. Yeah I gave into a few more pieces of candy then I normally would but over all I still ate healthy. I still exercised several times last week with intensity. I'm not as focused but I've not abandoned ship.

Monday morning, I did advanced spin at the gym. It felt really good. Monday night, I went running, about 5 miles.

Tuesday I didn't make it to the gym. I had my monthly mom's bible study in the morning, play date in the afternoon for Amelia. Then after school stuff, dinner and my sister came over. Today, I'm painting my hallways and I know I won't make it to my regular class. I'm planning on running tonight again. Thursday and Friday I am going to spend time at my aunts house, my girls don't have school. I really need a break and I always feel so much better after I've spent some time with my aunt and her family.

I'm not sure what is on the agenda for this weekend but hopefully I'll figure out a way to get more activity in. And next week I am going to come back fully recharged. I'm tired of feeling burnt out.... maybe that is my problem?

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Emo

I cried.

I broke down.

I had a pitty party.


Yesterday, I lounged around the house most of the day feeling sorry for myself. Why, you might ask? Because I was feeling bad about the way I look. As you probably know from reading, it's now been 18 months since I've worked. I'm so thankful for this time off to focus on myself and my family but money is so incredibly tight. It's stressful. Right now, it's even more stressful than normal because of the investment stuff we have going on, the holidays coming up. It's a bit overwhelming when I think of it all.

I've been able to spend more time with my friends lately and I've rediscovered how much I love getting dressed up. The only problem - I don't have much that fits me. Everything is too big, even my pre-baby jeans are getting more and more roomy. A good problem to have when you're trying to lose weight. It's not a good problem to have though when you don't have extra money to spend on clothes. Right now, there is nothing more I'd rather do the go out and buy myself clothes.... I'd feel so much better about myself, about my progress.

My husband has been selling things on craigslist trying to come up with extra money for our investment. He came home and told me he sold something for $300. Great news! Then, I emotionally broke down because I want to have nice things to wear. I've worked so hard to lose the weight (approx 75lbs). Other than gym clothes, I only have 3 shirts that fit me and a few pairs of jeans. I was folding laundry in my spare bedroom when my husband came in and told me. I broke down crying because I was so upset. I know it sounds trivial but really could you imagine how you would feel if you lost 75 lbs and didn't have the means to replace your clothes?

I know I made Rich feel really bad because he is so proud of my for losing the weight. He has been working so hard to provide for our family and make ends meet. Some weeks, he puts in over 80 hours. Every week he puts in more than 40... He is stressed, he is tired yet he keeps working so hard to provide for us, for our family.

After, I pulled myself together I apologized to him. I should not have gotten as upset as I did over clothes. Really, I know I have what I need and my family is provided for. I am wanting to go through my closet and take my old stuff to a consignment shop. Hopefully, then I will be able to add a few more things to my closet that fit.

I know I'm not at goal so anything I buy now is just temporary clothing. Which is the biggest reason, I haven't splurged and gotten myself new stuff. I don't want to waste money when it's so hard to come by. But if I was more cautious in other areas, I probably could buy myself a few new things. Most of us can probably cut back, somewhere right? I really don't want a lot, just more than a 3 different outfits to wear, you know?

Graciously, Rich said I could spend $100 on myself for clothes. He really is a sweet and loving husband. The money he plans to give me once he sells his stuff on craigslist. I love him so much.

The silver lining - This is my first huge emotional break down that I remember in this weight loss journey because something(s) didn't fit. Before, I always felt bad about myself because clothes didn't fit like I wanted them too. I would rather wear clothes that are too big for me and be healthy then be fat and wear clothes that are too snug and small. It really is harder to be fat.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Running Goal - 13.1


H.A.L.F.- M.A.R.A.T.H.O.N.


My new goal, I'm so looking forward to it and ready for it. I love to push myself harder and harder. I can run 6 - 8 miles now with no real problems. Mentally, I am prepared for it, I believe I can run a half marathon, 13.2 miles. My heart wants to run a half marathon. It will be so hard, it will feel so good.

I've had my heart set on running a half marathon for a while, wanting to take my running abilities to the next level but let's face it. It's nearing the end of running season. Runs are expensive, especially if you sign up late and the holidays are coming up. Plus, there really isn't much offering between now and then in my area for a long run. But I really WANT to be able to run a half marathon the end of 2010.

So... after lots of searches on active.com I found the Brazen New Years Half Marathon. I really can't picture a better way to start of 2011 than running! Then I have the whole year to build on what I can do and improve. Plus, January culminates 1 year of running for me. It was in Janaury 2010 that I decided I wanted to be able to run... my goal was 1 mile. I could barely do 30 seconds. 1 year later, I will run my first half marathon.... Original goal achieved, I think so. Other running goals made and met, 5K and 10K... YES! Pushing myself to the limits... Oh YEAH!

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Hot 100 - Week 6

* Lose the 30 lbs

UPDATE: Weigh in yesterday, 185 lbs! One pound less than last week but still falling short of the 30 lbs... I'm keeping my goal and just going to continue to work towards it. Day by day, week by week, choice by choice.

* Fit into a size 8
UPDATE: Not there yet... but I'm getting smaller.

* Increase my running mileage.

UPDATE: Completed my first mud run (10K) on 10/31. I've also ran several nights last week and will continue to work on this. I've abandoned some events I wanted to do but picked a new running goal. More to come about that...

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Tuesday Ramblings

I got my hair cut and styled yesterday. It felt so good. It was getting dry and stringy. I needed the cut. It felt good too.

A few of my friends from grad school got together for dinner. It was nice to get together we hadn't seen each other for a long time. I had my hair done, make up on and I got dressed. My friends were shocked at how much I've changed and kept commenting on how good I look. It felt good. Life is good.

I ate heavier than I had wanted to. Thankfully, Zumara and I went for a good run last night. Our bodies were sore and scratched but it felt good to get them moving again. 4.25 miles according to mapmyrun.com - Not bad at all! Hopefully, it undoes some of the damage from Halloween.

Weigh in today was great 185 lbs! 1 pound less than last week. :) I got up, did body pump and cycle. I was running a little bit late and took my breakfast (oatmeal) to the gym with me. I wanted to make sure I got a ticket to class today, yesterday I got there 10 minutes before the class started and it was already too full.

I struggled to get through body pump as my body is still a little sore. Cycle was great though - I feel so good now that I'm done. I need to get to cleaning today. I'm having people over for a Jewelry party on Thursday night and my house is a mess. So yeah... that's my goal for today!

Monday, November 1, 2010

Mission Accomplished - Mud Run

Challenging. Fun. Dirty. Those are the words I would use to describe the Merrell Down and Dirty 10K mud run, I participated in yesterday.

I knew the mud run was going to be challenging but I under-estimated how challenging it would be. My triathlon experience is the bar in which I compare every event to. I set the bar high but I love to meet a good challenge. This 10K mud run was MORE challenging then the triathlon in Tahoe and I did not expect it to be.

Yeah - I can run 6.2 miles on almost any given day now. But this it was -- different.

Zumara and I decorated shirts the night before to look like lady bugs. It ended up taking a lot longer than we had expected but it was fun. When I finished, I made a traditional runners dinner --Spaghetti. I splurged and got garlic bread too. Mariyn has been begging me to get garlic bread. YUM... I laid out all my clothes and the girls the night before.




Trying on the shirts after we finished coloring them.

I grabbed and set Mariyn's alarm clock for 5:30 am. Then I got to bed. It was pretty late and I needed to get up early. I wanted to leave by 6:30 am. Rich was planning on going hunting and set his alarm too. When I awoke, it was not to the alarm but to sunlight peeping through my window. Panicked I rolled over and seen it was 7:07 am. I ran to my phone to call Zumara, I was supposed to pick her up already. I got ready in less than 15 minutes. The girls ended up staying home with Rich because he too slept in too late to go hunting.



We arrived at Folsom Lake around 9 am, luckily the 10K started at 10 am.
Once we found parking we had to walk about a mile to check in near the start line. No big deal. I got to see a bunch of the 5K runners finishing up the last leg of the race, the lake and a view of an obstacle. The course going through the lake! Yes, if you look closely at this picture you will notice the runners are in the lake!



We checked in got our stuff and it was time to line up at the start line. The race started in waves with the runners placing themselves by anticipated race pace. We were running late, and there were so many waves. Zumara and I quickly got a wave we could see room. It was the 8 -9 minute pace! So much faster than where we really are. The waves were very well organized the announcer was great a new wave started every 5 minutes. When it was our turn, the cannon went off - and we ran!



The first mile of the race was easy and fairly flat. The first obstacle, was small net with sand pit under. You had to crawl under the net and to the other side. Then continue on the run. No big deal, a little uncomfortable. Mile two, was up hill through smaller trails. It got a lot more challenging. Tree roots, rocks and who knows what were in the path.

Other obstacles we encountered included a giant hay pyramid, vertical wall, hurdles, cargo nets, vertical rope walls, the lake and of course, more mud pits! The obstacles were fun and both Zumara and I had no problems completing them. Other runners seemed to struggle with them more than we did. The pictures below are examples of the obstacles we encountered -- not us on our run.












Our biggest struggle was the terrain. One portion of the run, was a very steep climb. The trail had a very steep and narrow path. Once you reached the end of the path you turned and the path got steeper and continued to climb, 3 times this happened. My hamstrings were burning, and I was walking not running up the hill. Finally, we reached the top of the hill, where the obstacle was to climb over the cargo net. I got over, and took off running. Down hill, was equally hard on your body. Yeah you can go faster, but it wasn't safe. The trails were so small and hard to find footing. Plus the pressure on the knees was excruciating.

Around mile 5, Zumara and I stopped a bathroom not to far off the course. I really had to go, bad and had since we finished mile #1. The pit stop at the bathroom lost us a good 10 minutes. There were 6 bathrooms - 3 regular 3 porta potties. One regular was locked, one had no toilet paper and the others didn't flush. All three of the porta potties were out of toilet paper and completely dirty and covered in spider webs. We had to play musical bathrooms to be able to go.

Back on the run again, we were on the home stretch. You could hear the music back at the finish line. Feeling relief, Zumara and I said we were going to run the rest of the course. Around 6 miles or so, the course went off into the lake. and we had to follow the flagged area. The water was cold but it felt so good on your sore muscles. Some parts were shallow others were chest high and easier to swim than walk/run. Finally out of the water, we were in the home stretch and final obstacles.

The rope wall, had been soaped down and was our next challenge. The person in front of us, could not grab the rope and climb over the wall. She tried at least 3 times. The wall it's self looked really intimidating. I grabbed the rope on my first attempt and pulled myself over. Zumara was still at the bottom. I told her it was no problem, she had this. It was so much more intimidating than it was challenging.

Next we crawled into a giant mud pit. It was deep, and wet full of mud. You were to crawl under the flags and you got covered in mud. Mud in your face, mud in your hair, mud all over. Across the other side and over a little mud retaining wall and on to the finish line!






We did it, we can, we ran, we crawled, we conquered but most of all --- WE got down and dirty!





Official time: 1 hour 39 minutes 56 seconds! I ranked 92/112 for my age division. 908 of 1020 overall. Maybe not the greatest rankings but I'm proud of our time, especially considering we didn't have any running experience with hills or trails like that. Considering we lost 10 minutes or so in the bathroom. Considering our athletic ability and how far we've came. I anticipated finishing around 1 hour 30 minutes due to the obstacles. I had a great time and it was SO much fun! Even though, the 10K was so hard, I'm glad we chose it and rose to the challenge.

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Mud Run

Mud run is on Sunday. I'm excited. I know I will finish, but I'm a little intimidated because I haven't gotten in a lot of running since my last 10K. We forced ourselves to run twice this week, Weds and Thurs night and we got in about 5 miles each night. Not bad but it took everything we had to get through those 5 miles. Thurs night we walked a .5 mile of it or so. I had already done body pump and cycle at the gym Thursday morning. The hill was just too much Thursday night. I had to take a break and walk once I got up the hill. We were talking and ended up walking further than originally planned.

Friday was crazy around here. The kids had their Halloween parties at school. I was busy with that and the usual Friday afternoon stuff. I never made it to the gym. I'm alright with that though -- considering I need down time to rest before my run. Plus, the muscles around my rib cage were sore from the workout the day before.

Since the mud run is on Halloween day, there is a costume contest. I'm not about running in the mud in a huge costume and ruining it. But Zumara and I decided to go with the spirit of Halloween and be lady bugs. We're wearing red shirts and painting black spots on them. It's going to be cute, fun and cheap.

I'm not expecting my time to be as fast as last 10K time. Last time, we were familiar with the course and it was regular paved run. This time, it's in the mud with lots of obstacles. I'm pretty sure that will slow us down. My goal is to have fun and finish.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Shopping

I've had a few shopping experiences lately. Huge NSV and goals were met. Plus other revelations were made:


I went to Frederick's of Hollywood to buy a corset for Halloween. My friends and I were all supposed to be playboy bunnies. I was nervous about this costume idea because it showed A LOT of skin. But I found a corset and it fit. I felt comfortable in it and bought it. My friend was wearing booty shorts with hers and I asked the sales lady for a pair. They only had one pair left, an extra large. My first thought, PERFECT! I try everything on together and the booty shorts were too BIG. Yeah, they stayed on my body, technically but I'd be readjusting the wait and legs all night because they were loose!

Way back when I started my journey my goal was to be able to shop in a normal size store. Yeah, I've bought a few things from more normal stores/online but hadn't had the experience of needing to put something back because it was TOO big! I almost left the store in tears because I was so happy it didn't fit. I am so used to leaving upset because nothing fits!


When I got home, I proudly put on my new corset to show my husband. I felt hot! He let me know that he wasn't comfortable with me wearing a corset in public, especially without him being there. He agreed it looked good. But this was only the second time I can remember in our relationship he asked me not to wear something. So I returned the corset the next day.

With the corset back at the store, I now needed a new costume idea. I walked around the mall and noticed Anchor Blue had costumes - cute ones! I tried on two a hottie pirate and a police officer. They both fit! Did I mention that I consider Anchor Blue a teen store? It was one of my favorite places to shop when I was in high school. The bonus, everything there was buy 2 get 2 free. And since I was buying a costume and in need of clothes I looked around. I ended up buying a sweater for me and jeans and a shirt for Rich, along with the costume and ended up spending $10 less than I had already spent of the corset. I was thinking about buying a pair of pants but I actually have enough that fit or sort of fit right now. And I was too worried about how my body would change when I get smaller. What if that fit of jeans, just isn't right for me? So I didn't new pants.

So here is my revelation: shopping in normal stores is not only a great feeling but it's cheaper! Yes, clothes from Lane Bryant, Torrid or whatever "go to store" I shopped at before was so much more expensive in comparison. I'm talking like half the price - plus the clothes are so much cuter! I can't wait to be at GW and have money to shop!

On a side note: Zumara and I ran about 5 miles last night. We're running again tonight and now I'm off to the gym.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Hot 100 - Week 5

  • Lose the 30 lbs
UPDATE: Weigh in today 186 lbs! 3 lb loss from last week! 2 of which have been gained and lost before. So really 1 pound closer to my Hot 100 goal.
  • Fit into a size 8
UPDATE: I bought a few new things at Anchor Blue this weekend - a teen store! I'm getting smaller.
  • Increase my running mileage.
UPDATE: I didn't run much last week. Between the rain and me being sick it made it difficult to get running time in. I registered for the 10K mud run this weekend and am excited about it.

Last weeks specific goals:
1. Eat better. - Did much better
2 Gym/exercise - Got in 5 days of working out!
3. Investment Stuff - Made huge progress
4. Comp Exam - No progress and have officially thrown the towel in.
5. Clean house - Progress made on the kitchen but then I got sick ...

This weeks specific goals:
1. Exercise/Run
2. Eat Well
3. Clean/Organize House

Monday, October 25, 2010

The difference a year can make...


My friend, Judi has the best Halloween party every year. Everyone dresses up and it's a guaranteed good time. This year was no different. Last October, I had just began to start my journey. I had already lost a few pounds by Halloween but nothing major. I was really close to my before weight. I've lost 70+ lbs but gained so much more. What a difference a year can make.


When I walked in, a few friends that I hadn't seen in a while, had asked if that was me. They were shocked! All night, everyone kept telling me how great I looked. It really felt good. I felt really confident and well, HOT! I had a great time and am really proud of my accomplishment and where I am on my journey. I'm getting more and more comfortable with my body everyday yet continue to work towards my goal.




Here are some pictures I gathered to highlight the difference one year can make:


Judi & I 2009

Judi, Chas, & 1 2010

Elyssa, Leanne, Judi, Sara (me), Marcela 2009

Sara (me), Judi, Leanne, Elyssa 2010


Group of girls at the party, 2009. I am on the far right, the girl next to me was VERY pregnant.

Elyssa, me, Zumara and Jennifer 2010

Thursday, October 21, 2010

I did back to back classes at the gym today body pump and cycle. Both were subs, the regular teacher quit last week, or so I hear. I missed class last week so I didn't hear the story for myself but what was repeated sounds a lot like gossip and drama.

I got a great workout in today. The sub that did body pump is a regular instructor (and coordinator) at another local fitness facility and really knows her stuff. I loaded my bar heavier than normal for squats and really worked it. I also went heavier on chest. Cycle was fun but only 4 members took the class today, really odd because normally there are 20 bikes and we have to show up extra early to get one. I got a good ride in though and it was nice not to be so crowded, odd but nice.

As I was leaving the gym, the manager spoke to me. He said he seen someone who looked a lot like me there and he had to do a double take. My sister and I do look a lot a like, but we look very different too. He asked which one of us is older, my sister is by 6 years and it's obvious. I think he was just trying to make small talk. He always talks to me when I'm alone at the gym. He goes out of his way to acknowledge me when I'm alone. It's awkward. My sister has a better rate than I do. She only pays $15 a month! Incredible, I know it's something through her work. So I decided to say something about it. He told me that because he likes me he would give me the same rate as my sister. If you've been reading my blog for a while, you would realize that this is the same person that has been flirtatious with me for months now. I'm a happily married woman and I tell my husband everything. But you know there is nothing wrong with saving me some money! I've been a member there for a long time and pay a lot to go each month, for myself and my kids. So I'm excited about that!

When I got back home, I made quesadillas for lunch with black bean salsa, using thin corn tortillas and queso fresco and mozzarella cheeses. They were good! Soon, it was time to do some research online and get Mariyn from school. Then the girls and I went to the library, I filled out papers for an LLC and mailed them off to the secretary of state! We're getting closer on our investment stuff and that is so exciting! Of course, while we were at the library the girls got books. Amelia had a huge tantrum and had to get carried out. Her behavior has been very challenging lately and I could really use prayers for patients with her.

When we got home from the library I had Amelia take a nap. I was frustrated with her. She was tired, I was tired and a nap fit us both nicely. When I awoke I could already feel the soreness setting in from today's workout. I love that!

Oh and did I mention, I'm still didn't have a voice today? I lost my voice Tuesday night. Monday I had a minor sore throat. Tuesday I felt fine but lost my voice around 8 pm. Yesterday I felt fine but with no voice. Today my voice is a little better but I have a cough and very low energy. I'm cough drops and using my inhaler. I have congestion but it seems to only be in my throat --- odd. I'm going to make some tea and hope I feel better tomorrow. I have a busy day ahead.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Accepting Compliments and gaining confidence

Accepting compliments can be hard! Especially when you've lost weight and or are trying to lose. Today, I was given a compliment by an old friend, I hadn't seen this person in a long time and I actually had to show them pictures to prove that I was fat. Such an odd thing, I know. Then they proceeded to tell me I've always been beautiful. Awkward!

Every day, I pick my daughter up from school. I usually walk into the school and wait by her classroom. I mingle with the other parents. One of them commented today about how good I look and asked me what I've been doing. The other mom's replied, "she runs - A LOT." I replied diet and exercise, and blushed. I was still in my gym clothes hair pulled back in a pony tail still sweaty and greasy from my workout. One of the mom's said, "Sara that was a compliment. You have such a hard time accepting compliments, you should just say thank you. " Deep down, I know she is right.

It is so hard accepting compliments though. I always feel the need to make up excuses or reasons why they aren't valid or why I'm undeserving. I mean - of course I look better now than I did 70 lbs ago, but it's still a little embarrassing that I was THAT overweight and still have so much to lose. In some ways, I do feel pretty or attractive but in others, I still feel so undeserving. Having been overweight does something to your self confidence...

I was even invited to a Halloween party by one of the mom's. It made me feel so special because I normally feel so isolated from the other mom's in my town. I'm a good 10 years younger than most and unlike them, I didn't grow up here so I don't already know everyone. Unfortunately, it's not a day I can attend but the invite alone means I am finally starting to make friends and fit in. It feels so good to think that someone thinks I'm beautiful or worthy of compliments. My whole life, I've always felt like plain jane or the girl next door. Growing up beauty was my sister's gifts. Intelligence was mine. In my mind, they didn't mix.

10/19

Yesterday morning was a struggle for me to get out of the house. My 3 year old, was extra slow and just not motivated enough to want to get to the gym before 8:30 am. Finally, I got her out of the house and was putting her in the car, when I felt something wet! Not good! She peed her pants! Frustrated, we have to go back inside and change.

Ok, so we're changed back in the car and on our way. The roads near my house have been tore up for months. The city is replacing the waterlines, sidewalks and who knows what else. As I drive past the construction crew, I notice someone waved at me. I waved and then realized it was an old friends ex husband. Yeah, I know I said, ex husband but he really was a good guy. They were both just too young and immature to make the marriage work, it's sad. Since I was already late to the gym, I stopped and talked to him for a while, it's been a good 6 years or so since I've seen him.

Once I got to the gym, I did weight training on the floor then cycle. I had a great workout. I felt so much better and was able to have more patience with my daughter. I ate a healthy lunch. Rich and I ended up spending most of the afternoon and evening working on the investment stuff and didn't get home until after 9 last night. We didn't eat until around 8, luckily my mom made us food. It wasn't as healthy as a dinner I would have made but it wasn't fast food and it was tasty. I was hungry and very appreciative.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Hot 100 Week 4

  • Lose the 30 lbs
UPDATE: Weigh in today 189 lbs. - That is a 2lbs gain people! I'm hoping there was some inaccuracy in my scale or some other issue and it will dissappear the next time I weigh in BUT the truth of the matter is I ate poorly last week and didn't exercise much. :/
  • Fit into a size 8
UPDATE: Not any closer than I was last week.
  • Increase my running mileage.
UPDATE: Only ran once last week. I ran once already this week and will be running more.

Last weeks specific goals:
  1. Comp exam (still haven't started :X), - :X No progress and I just might have to forget about completing it this semester. I've got too much going on with the business.
  2. Organization and investment stuff, YES! HUGE progress has been made here. We've got the ball rolling on our investment. We sold a lot of our personal stuff, extra vehicle and come up with capital, purchased equipment and now it's all about licensing, insurance and paperwork stuff.
  3. Get to the gym/exercise in. - I got a short run on Weds night and then gym time on Friday. Better than nothing but not good enough for me.

This weeks goals:
1. Eat better.
2 Gym/exercise
3. Investment Stuff
4. Comp Exam
5. Clean house

Monday, October 18, 2010

Being Supportive

I've come so far in my own fitness journey that people everywhere are noticing. Not only are they noticing they are asking the famous question, "How did you do it?" or as you can imagine the many versions of it.

I have no big secrets only common sense: eat less, move more and stay committed. Whenever most people hear my response and find out it wasn't some fancy miracle quick solution, they are no longer interested in trying it for themselves. The excuses start, I don't have time to exercise. I don't like to eat that. I can't run. I've even heard, I don't mind exercising but I don't want to get all sweaty.

One of the biggest negative nelly's in my journey has been my sister. I love her dearly, but she is overweight. She's has struggled with her weight her entire life. Last year when I started exercising I'd invite her along but she would never come. Rarely, if ever has she acknowledged my weight loss. I would be dishonest if I said it didn't hurt my feelings. My sister is one of the most kind hearted people I know. She has two beautiful children whom I love dearly and I know she wants a better life for them, a healthier more active life. She came and watched my triathlon last month. I think it was that weekend, that she realized I had really changed my life.

The last couple of weeks, she has been asking me more and more questions about how I got started. What did I do, what was it like and genuinely interested in hearing the responses. Her work is promoting exercise and have several gyms offering promotions to them. Last week, she decided to join my gym. She sounded excited. One night she came over and I went through my closet and gave her some of my old clothes that no longer fit, including warm up outfits and workout clothes.

Tonight, we went to the gym together, for her first time. She called me so I could meet her there. I put my kids in the childcare and called her to find out where she was because I hadn't seen her yet. I was shocked, when I heard her reply on the elliptical. I was shocked that she was driven enough to start without me. The gym can be very intimidating, the atmosphere, the impressively fit members, the whole process. We did 20 minutes together on the elliptical. I could tell it was a struggle for her but she made it through. Then I gave her a tour of the gym and we worked out for about another 20 minutes in the women's only section. My focus was making sure my sister got a good workout and felt comfortable. I introduced her to as many people as I could, so she would feel welcomed and supported. I'm very proud of her, and even though her workout might not have been as strenuous as mine normally are, hers was just as intense for her. And honestly, I have to say that it feels so good to be a positive influence to her.

After the gym, I made dinner for my family: baked chicken, asparagus and brown rice. Yum.

Then, Mariyn and I went for a run. Since completing 20 laps at the jog a thon, she and I had talked about her running more with me at home. She hasn't really gone running with me since she finished her run this Spring. Since she ran/walked for 30 minutes at the jog-a-thon I knew she could at least do a lap here with me and we could build on it. She wants to do a race with mommy but I want her to be able to complete the whole 5K. I don't mind not getting a PR if I'm running with my kid. Teaching her to enjoy activity is worth way more than a PR. So tonight, we ran/walked 2 miles together. She probably ran half. She complained a lot but felt so good when she finished. I'm so proud of my girl!

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Ch-Cha- Changes!

You know your body better than anyone else. Every imperfection, blemish, line, wrinkle, pump or beauty mark. You are your body's inspector; you are your body's worst critic. You know your strengths and weakness. You know how to push yourself to your physical and mental limits like no other. No one, knows your body like you.


The other night, I was sitting on the sofa and I stretched my arm. I reached up above my head with one arm,bending at the elbow and used my other arm to grab a hold of my elbow to stretch. It was this moment when I touched something, unrecognizable. I felt similar, yet different. It was soft and small. Confused, I looked up to see where exactly my hand had landed.

It was my elbow! The back of my arm! So much smaller than even I had known or expected! The skin around my elbow is normally fairly dry, ashy and rough like sandpaper. It's smooth, soft and healthy feeling. I spent a good 10 minutes or so analyzing the feel of my arms. It's such a weird feeling to not to even recognize your own body. The body you know better than anyone else.

What's even more weird is this is the second time it's happened to me in the last two weeks. I had a similar situation happen to me last time I did yoga. It was when I was stretching my calf and my hands fit completely around. I was so surprised and happy that I had to tell my friend Zumara, right then! I was giddy.

Body changes are amazing and feel oh so great! Even if it's my own body I'm not as familiar with as I thought. :)

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Gym time

Yesterday, I got up and went to the gym. I was sluggish about getting out of the house and really wasn't motivated to go. Mariyn's didn't have school due to a furlough day/budget cuts. She and I rode our bikes across town to the gym. I missed all the classes so I worked out by myself on the floor doing the various weight training machines. It had been a while since I've used that part of the gym, maybe a month or so because I usually do bodypump classes for my weight training.

It's nice to mix it up a bit though. I lifted heavy and did a lot of reps. I did the intimidator (assisted pull up machine), squats, leg press, leg extensions, calf raises, hip and thigh machines, peck deck and tri press machines. All areas I normally work in body pump. I'm counting my bike ride to and from the gym as my cardio time.

Today, I am sore. Not terribly sore like I was last week from running but more sore than normal for a regular workout. I can feel my gluts burning, as well as my chest and biceps. A good reminder why it's important to vary your routine because even though I work these muscles regularly, the different machines work a different part of the muscles than the free weights do. Free weights are great too, I'm a huge fan of free weights. It's just nice to have a variety and change it up a bit.

Getting sore = progress = body change = results = success

I was talking to a trainer at my gym about my 10K time, weight loss and everything she was impressed. She complimented my shoulders and said they look really good. Which made me feel good. She said, whatever I am doing keep doing it because it's working. I don't pay for training but since I come so regularly I talk to the trainers a lot. They give good tips and are a lot friendlier than they appear. It's so nice to have a "professional" give you compliments as well as encouragement.

Friday, October 15, 2010

Pictures

I've added pictures of my 10K on Sat to this post. Check it out.

Updated pictures to come, we've finally got a camera :)

Oh and a teaser pic of me

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Crazy Week

This week has been crazy, as if you couldn't tell by the lack of blogging. I haven't made it to the gym at all. I ran about 3 miles last night. I hope to run again tonight after the kids go to bed. I've had a busy day, substitute teaching at the high school. I have a softball board meeting tonight. I'm already exhausted and have a headache.


Good news, things are really coming together with our families investment. Which has thrown me off my schedule this week. I think I needed a break from the gym though, I had been feeling burnt out. Hopefully, when I'm able to return to my normal schedule that isn't an issue.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Hot 100 Update Week 3

79 more days in 2010 and in the Hot 100. Here is where I stand in working towards my goals:
  • Lose the 30 lbs
UPDATE: Weigh in today 187 lbs. I'm bloated no change on the scale today. I think the scale will change tomorrow, when the bloat is gone. I weighed less over the weekend.
  • Fit into a size 8
UPDATE: Not yet, but getting closer. I will probably meet this goal near the end of the Hot 100.
  • Increase my running mileage.
UPDATE: Completed my first 10K race on Saturday 1 hour 5 minutes.


Goals to work on this week:
  1. Comp exam (still haven't started :X),
  2. organization and investment stuff,
  3. get to the gym/exercise in.

I know I have a crazy busy week. Yesterday, we randomly ended up in the bay area for the entire day. I didn't make it to the gym, which was fine because I was still very sore. Today I have bible study and softball stuff tonight. It's going to be a long day.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Sore

I'm so sore today. My quads, my hamstrings, my feet, my back. Everything.

Funny thing is, I know I'm accustom to running that distance. I've ran the course ahead of time with no problems. The difference must have been that we ran it so much faster yesterday.

I'm so sore it hurts to sit, it hurts to walk, it hurts to move.

Good news, this means my body is changing. =) Change is good.

Saturday, October 9, 2010

10K: Mission Accomplished!

6 am came really quick this morning. I was tired, I hit snooze and rolled over. Then realized that if I didn't get up my morning would probably be rushed. I made the fam bam breakfast, blueberry pancakes and eggs. I ate one pancake then got myself and the girls ready. We were out of the house by 7:15am and arrived at the race venue around 7:30. This morning, Rich asked me how long I thought the run should take me. Best case scenario, I told him 1 hour; worse case scenario 1 hour and 30 minutes. I checked in, got my packet and bib number and waiting anxiously to start the race. Rich and the girls waited by the sidelines to cheer me on.
Zumara and I just before the race began. =) Ready to run

The race started off great, without a hitch. There were so many runners but I felt prepared. Let's face it, I know I'm not the speediest but I know I can hang endurance wise. Running the course last week really boosted my confidence, I'm sure it helped Zumara too. We knew exactly how to pace ourselves for the course and what to expect. I was so excited to run this morning.


This race wasn't electronic timing so we got towards the front of the pack on the starting line. We took off as soon as the horn went off. The couple miles or so was thick with runner. Adrenaline kicking in, I could feel we were running faster than normal. There wasn't any conversation between Zumara and I. We normally chat the entire run and runners say you should be able to keep a pace where you can talk the entire time. Otherwise, you will probably face burn out. As the pack of runners started to dwindle, I started conversation.

Around mile 3, I could really feel how fast we had paced ourselves the run was getting difficult. I noticed there were too many runners in Zumara's age and I didn't see very many of them in front of us. She paces herself with me, but really I think she might be faster than me and she is about 12 years older. There was several water stops along the way. I grabbed water and kept going at each one. At about mile 4, I wanted to walk but I just kept pacing myself with Zumara and kept going. Somewhere between mile 4 and 5 I got water and drank it a little fast. After taking off, I nearly hurled. Vomit cam up, but it didn't come out. GROSS! There wasn't another water stop for a mile or so. I pushed through.

Mile 5 started out with a steep hill, the last big challenge of the run. Utop of the hill, I knew the rest of the race was easy. I got water at the next stop but instead of drinking it,I just rinsed my mouth. As we hit the 6 mile mark, we picked up the pace. I belched and again almost hurled. I knew we were almost to the finish line. Zumara was doing so good, she made this 6.2 miles look easy and I really thought she had a chance of placing in her age division. I told her not to worry about me, to finish as strong as possible, even if that meant leaving me behind. We both crossed the finish line together, although she is missing from the picture.

Crossing the finish line: Official time: 1 hour 5 minutes and 53 seconds. I ranked 14th in my age division of 20 runners, 112 of 147 runners over all.

I'm really proud of my time. Yeah it's not the best in the world of fast runners but it is a great time. Considering, I'm 5'4" tall, weigh 187 (ish) lbs and couldn't run 30 seconds in January, I think I'm starting to get speedy. Plus, it was my first 10K and being that there were two simultaneous events, I'm sure I was competing with more advanced runners. I probably would have placed higher had I done the 5K. I'm glad I chose to do the 10K and really push myself. I feel so accomplished and grateful. I feel like a runner. =)

Feeling so accomplished! Zumara and I after. Notice the red checks ... lovely, I know.

After the run there was a free kids run. Mariyn ran. She was reluctant to run, but I bribed her with a $1. She did great and everyone got a medal. It was fun for them too and I just love that she is learning a healthy lifestyle now.



My biggest fans. Mariyn & Amelia =)


Friday, October 8, 2010

Q & A

I read these questions on Rotund Revolution and Minding my Weigh 's blogs. Intriguing questions and answers. Feel free to answer them as you would like, here or your own blog.

1. What was your highest weight, what do you weigh right now and what is your goal weight?


Highest weight 258lbs, current weight 187lbs goal weight 160 lbs -ish or just content with my size.

2. What is your #1 motivation for losing weight?

I have so many. Put simply, I got tired of being fat. I got tired of crying every time I left the store because nothing fit. I got tired of not being able to do fun stuff with my kids. I got tired of being unfit and missing out on things I would liked to do. I got tired of making excuses.

I wanted a better life for myself, my daughters and my family.

3. Have you always been overweight?

No. I was always an athletic build with curves. I weighed a lot because I had large muscle mass but was always small in size/shape. I think this is one of the reasons why I hid and denied my weight gain for so long. I'm so curvy that I gained the weight evenly, no one believes that I was actually 258 lbs. Then again, no one believes me today when I tell them I am 187 lbs. I've come a long way.

4. When you want to give up what inspires you to keep going?
My goals, my kids and the progress I've made. Above all, God's grace.

5. What is the #1 thing you look forward to when you hit your goal weight?

Accomplishing my goal and maintaining. I've been at this journey for a year now, the changes I've made are part of my lifestyle. I look forward everything, shopping, activities and just life.

6. Do you have support on your weight loss journey?

Yes. So many women at the gym have reached out to me in their own way encouraging me and asking me about my weight loss. My husband is always been supportive and encourages me. My family is supportive too. The biggest support I've found is that I actually have the power to inspire and encourage others about lifestyle change. That really keeps me going.

7. What is your favorite exercise?

I don't really have a favorite. I love exercise and being athletic. I love doing races/events like the 5K's and the triathlon. I'm hooked, excited and ready to do more! Running is a new love. I love cycling, swimming, body pump, zumba. I love sports and being competitive. I love that I CAN exercise. I love to mix everything up so I don't get bored, burnt out or hit a plateau.

8. What is the most important thing you have learned on your weight loss journey?

I've learned so much about dealing with my emotions. Challenging myself but most importantly, I've seen God's grace and am learning how to be a better example for others.

9. What is one thing you have given up that you miss the most?

I don't really think I've given up anything. I've gained so much.

The one thing I do miss, is sort of hard to explain. I get neurotic about exercising. I feel really bad about myself if I don't try to do something active each day. I miss feeling ok about having a down day. I know it's normal but I instantly feel obese if I don't exercise because I am so goal orientated. Crazy - I know.


10. What is your strategy for losing weight?

Eat healthy and exercise = eat less move more. I don't follow a diet, I don't do weight watchers. I eat a healthy, I exercise a lot. I've had to count calories in the past but for the most part I've learned portion control, stay away from bad stuff and I'm good. I'm not dropping the weight as quickly as I once was but I'm also on my last 30lbs or so. I'm always making goals, focusing on achieving them and then moving forward making a new goal. I'm very competitive with myself.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

running body pump and yoga

Tuesday, I read my bible study, James 3:1-18, on taming the tongue. Something, I and probably many other people need to work on.

Yesterday, my husband and I got into an argument. How ironic when I read the bible study the night before. I was a lot more careful about choosing my words but I have a lot of room to grow. I had a really bad headache and was probably a bit grumpier than normal. It started out as a small disagreement, I was unhappy about a few things and needed to tell him how I felt. Quickly, it escalated and turned into a BIG argument.

After the kids went to bed, I went for a run. I was planning on running anyways but now was more reason to go running. I was planning on a short run, 3 mile or so but ended up running close to 5 miles! So much healthier to handle my emotions through exercise than through eating. I was still angry when I got home and so I went to bed.

Anyone who knows me, I have a hard time letting things go once they bother me. I usually have to have the last word and or prove my point. It's probably not my best characteristic. Naturally, going to bed angry means I am going to wake up angry and not get "over it" until a solution is found and an apology is made. I got up this morning, angry made the kids breakfast (and the husband too although I didn't talk to him) and got Mariyn off to school and Amelia and I off to the gym.

I did bodypump today. Still angry I had a difficult time concentrating but an easy time lifting the weights. I ended up bumping up my squat weights by 10 lbs. Now I'm squatting with 50lbs. The most of anyone I've seen in the class, other than one amazingly strong instructor. I've been wanting to bump my squat weight up for a while so I thought this would be a good opportunity to do so. My body feels worn out, tired and sore. I didn't take my anger out on food today either.

Tonight, I went and did a yoga class. It was a much needed stress reliever and stretch. I could hear my hips and bones popping in the posses. Some of them hurt a little, others felt so good I could fall asleep. Even the ones that hurt were the feel good kind of hurt, the kind you feel when you know tension is leaving the body.

Something amazing happened in yoga. We were doing a pose in which we held our calf with both hands. For the first time, I can remember in my life my hands actually wrap around my entire calf! I was amazed I had to tell my friend. Even though you don't really socialize in yoga! Opps! ha ha

I really enjoyed yoga tonight. It was exactly what I needed. I train so much and so hard that my body can really take a beating. I know I need to incorporate more yoga/stretching in to my routine. It might not be the biggest calorie burner but flexibility and balance (key elements of yoga) are a big part of being fit and healthy.

Rich and I worked out our disagreement. All is good. We have an exciting opportunity we're investing in. I'm not allowed to speak of just yet but I think it's God's way of providing for us. It's stressful, especially because I am not good at keeping secrets and this opportunity has the potential of changing our lives. I'm excited, nervous and thankful all at the same time.