Cause and Effect

When I started eating healthy and exercising, I noticed my body was changing. I was changing not only physically and mentally. Something else too, my skin was healthier, my hair was healthier and I felt more rested and more alert even though I would often workout until I was at my limits. I was able to be optomistic easily and felt less stressed. My outlook on life was a lot more positive than it had ever been before.

Now, that I haven't worked out much in the last two months (yes, it's been that long). I'm not eating as healthy as I was. I still make good choices but not great choices. I give into junk, cravings, eating out and other forms of diet sabatoge with little to no resistance. I'm going through a lot of personal stress right now and I can tell, my body is reacting to it. My skin is breaking out, my hair looks less shinny and healthy. I get cranky, moody and reach breaking points faster. I often feel overwhelmed and I turn to food.

See how quickly old habbits and coping mechanisims can come back? The one thing that is not back is the weight but I can easily see how my excuses and behavior can cause a slipper slope and the weight would follow.

Another thing I noticed, in JanuaryI missed my mom's monthly bible study. I completely forgot about it. Coincidence, I think not. Every month, I enjoy bible study it gives me a new perspective and a way to rejuvenate.

Tomorrow is the February bible study. I'm looking forward to it.

I'm looking forward to getting back into the gym too. Many of my gym friends have let me know, I've sulked long enough and that even though I can't do everything I can do somethings. Maybe that is the kick in the pants that I need...

Getting on track

Getting back on track is going to take more than just the desire to get on track. It's going to take more than just "talk" about being back on track. I've let in a lot of carbs, sugar and other junk food into my diet the last couple of weeks. For me, that means I'm going to be fighting cravings again.

I'm still limited in what I can do physically. I'm going to start swimming this week but that gym is 30 minutes away so I won't be able to swim daily, maybe just a couple of times a week if I'm lucky.

I also have both of my kids home from school, so it's going to take some extra effort and planning to get a workout in. It's also means I am going to have to work up my endurance and build up my strength to what it was. I know this is going to take time.

Getting back on track with my food will be easier in some ways and harder in others. I haven't brought a lot of food into our house lately. I need to go grocery shopping. Thus, only healthy and diet friendly foods will be coming in. So why is it going to be harder, you ask? I've gotten used to eating out again. Hard habit to break. And the cravings...

Good news is things are really starting to come through with our investment. But money will get tighter before it gets better. Which can only help us to eat at home. I know if I want to get back on track, kick 180's behind and reach my goals I am going to need to get right with my food, work hard and pray for strength to stay on track.

Yesterdays meals:

Oatmeal for breakfast
Clam Chowder for lunch
Meat loaf, Broccoli and Mashed Potatoes for dinner.

Yeah not the best food choices but I'm working on it. It was so cold and rainy and Richard had been begging for meat loaf for a long time and it really isn't that bad of a choice. Plus I kept portions under control especially with the mashed potatoes. The girls and Rich loved dinner and that always feels good too.

I've let go

I've let go. I've let go of my expectations of myself, I've let go of the diet. I've let go of my time line to be back at the gym.

I've spent the last several weeks feeling sort of normal. I haven't weighed myself in over a month - AND I'm ok with that. Last year, I dieted through the holidays and missed out on a lot of things. This year, I'm missing out on nothing. But that doesn't mean I'm binging at every moment.

My eating habits have changed and I can make healthier choices and stop when I've full. But that doesn't mean that I don't indulge either. Come January, I will be back to watching everything I eat. Whether or not I'm back at the gym.

My ankle is healing. It's a slow process. I can get around now. It's slightly swollen still. I keep it wrapped most of the time, but it's slowly getting stronger every day. I think I'm going to try yoga soon. But I'm not ready for running or spinning any time soon. I know I still have a long time to heal and it's already been 3 weeks.

I've had a lot of family stuff going on, investment stuff and of course all the Christmas stuff going on too. Probably a lot like all of you. I've had so many times I just wanted / needed to go running. I just can't and I know it. The other day, I was so angry I needed a good long run. I honestly debated trying but I knew it was stupid of me to even think about doing it. I had a nice long chat with a friend instead.

I miss my gym friends, I miss my life. I can't wait to be better again.

Marathon Week

So last week, I said I wanted to increase my running mileage. And so I did. When I realied how far I ran this week, there was no way I couldn't run tonight. I wanted to make it to 26.2 miles. So tonight I ran 4.5 miles. Which means, I ran a whopping 26.5 miles this week! That is equivalent to running a full marathon (actually a tad more). I'm so proud of myself.

I really had a great weekend. This weekend Mariyn and I had originally planned to ride the Princess Promenade but it just wasn't in our budget to do so. Mariyn and I talked about it, she completly understood and even said, "Mom, I don't think I'm ready to ride that far anyways, maybe next year." She was so very sweet and understanding about the situation.



Earlier this summer, I had heard about a lavender farm, just outside of town. I wanted to take the girls on a bike ride there but Rich said, it was too dangerous because of traffic for the kids. Mariyn and I decided that instead of the bike ride, we would go to the lavender farm, which is only open to the public this weekend and won't be open again until December. It was gorgeous! And this wasn't even prime lavender season. The girls and I enjoyed lavender lemonade, lavender apple cider, lavender pumpkin cake (1 serving shared between 3 people) and the beautiful lavender plants. The atmosphere was so lovely and quaint. Perfect for a girls day outing. We even came home with our very own royal velvet lavender plant. On the way home, we stopped at Oakdale Cheese and had fresh grilled gouda cheese sandwiches. The kids enjoyed petting farm animals and we picniced by the pound. It really was a lovely afternoon.

After we came home, I took my girls on a bike ride through town. Mariyn and I rode 6.5 miles as I pulled Amelia in her trailer. We had a lot of fun exploring different neighborhoods. We even discovered a fun new park . The girls stopped for a while and played. I promised them we would come back. The had a great time. Some where along the ride, Amelia fell asleep in her trailer. When we got home, I noticed she was all curled up in a very deep slumber. So cute!

What a difference a week makes. This week, I am optomistic and full of hope. I really feel and see all that I have been blessed with. God is so good, all the time. :)

Non Scale Victory

This week, I've already ran more than 15 miles. I plan on running agian tonight. Maybe I can make it 20 miles? Crazy, I know. I never thought I would be able to run as much as I can, nor did I think I would like it. When I started out, I just wanted to run a mile. It took a while, but once I did, I've just kept running...

My biggest NSV (non scale victory) this week hasn't occured at the gym, or in my running shoes. It's has occured at my dinner table. You see, we went out to dinner last night. We went with my family to celebrate my mom's birthday. I really debated on going because it's expensive to eat out and I wasn't sure if it was in the budget this week. Then talking to Richard, we noticed we haven't eaten dinner out since September 19th. The day I came home from the triathlon! That is amazing for us. We usually eat out several times a week and I just try to make good choices. That means I've cooked for 11 days straight, every meal! My fridge is just about empty and it's time to go grocery shopping, but I'm really proud of us! And I'm willing to bet that the scale reflects my commitment too. I noticed I'm having far less bloating and bathroom issues too. Who knew!?!

Binge

I can't remember the last time I binged. I mean really binged. I've been knocked off track or splurged but really it's been a long time since I've binged. I must admit, I binged today. My girls are sick, we've laid around all weekend, nursing them and watching movies. I'm stressed, probably a bit due to the girls being sick, weather change and financial stress. I'm in a funk.

I decided to go to the store today to rent something from Redbox. My husband asked me to pick him up a candy bar. They were on sale 2 for $1.00. Plus I had two coupons buy one get one free. Yeah, I ended up leaving with 8 candy bars. One for each of my girls. The rest were for my husband and I. I ended up telling myself that if I ate one on the way home, it wouldn't be a big deal, no one would have to know. Yeah, I told myself that. No one would find out. So, I did. I felt so sneaky and I ate it quickly. So quickly that I hardly tasted the flavor. I came home with 7 candy bars. My girls ate 2, my husband ate 2, and I had 2 more! Yep, you read that right I ate 3 candy bars today. 750 (ish) calories wasted, I'm sure. Why did I do this? I'm feeling so incredibly emotional today. Probably due to lack of sleep and lots of financial stress. I can feel that I'm in a funk, this behavior isn't normal for me, any more. Old habits can sneak up on you quickly and are really hard to change.

I'm holding myself accountable and owning my behavior. I could have kept it to myself and no one, other than myself and God, would have known. But I'm blogging about it, letting you all know that while my intentions are good, I too still get off track.

8-26

I went to my aunt's memorial service today. It was so beautiful and cheerful truly a celebration of her life. My great aunt was a very special lady whom had a lot of grace and made everyone feel special and accepted. She was a woman of faith with a strong love for Christ. Her service really showed the love and Grace of God. There were even a few words said, that made me think about my own faith and how I can grow stronger. The pastor said, anyone can talk to God, lots of people talk to God, but how many people are really listening to God. I really want to be a good listener and I realize that I need to spend more time with God, listening to him and seeking him. I spend so much time talking, occupying my time, staying busy when in reality I need to listen more and share more of me with him.

My aunt was from a big family, had a big family, who also had big families... so yeah, there was lots of family and with lots of family comes lots of food. I was so worried about this. I didn't have time to go to the gym today and to be honest, I think my body needs a break so I chose not to run tonight. I knew I needed to be cautious with my eating because it's so easy to be tempted and be thrown off track. There was so much food: Pasta Salad, Spaggheti salad, potatoe salad, fruit salad, green salad, aram sandwiches, lunch meat, rolls, vegatble trays, tri tip, baked beans and yeah more than 2 tables filled with scrumptious tantalizing baked goods and deserts. So incredible, so tempting. I made my daughters plates then decided to make my own. Cautiously, I got fruit salad, green salad, baked beans, tri tip, and the smallest moresal of a brownie I could find. I ate my food and did not go near the desert table. Although I have to admit the cupcakes looked incredible and were calling my name. I was so proud of myself.

So many family members commented on how good I looked. I wore the red dress I blogged about a few days ago. It's not really funural attire but I knew it fit and not much else does. My uncle John even complimented me, he said I looked beautiful and asked about my routine. I've never been complimented that I can remember from my uncle, not for earning my degrees, not for my looks, nothing. If anything, the only conversations I recall with him include me leaving feeling worse about myself because of some commment or another he made and hurt my feelings. It felt so good today though. I can't even begin to tell you how many compliments I received from family.

This evening my girls and I went to the farmers market. It's the last one of the year. I'm going to miss going with my girls. We got lots of fruit and goodies. A few weeks ago, I bought my girls honey sticks and I ended up using Amelia's in my oatmeal it was so good I wanted to come back and get a jar. So tonight, I made sure I got some and I'm looking forward to making Oatmeal with it again. Incredible. I just love everything about the farmers markets, the food, the atmosphere and healthy lifestyle. If you have one in your area, I highly recommend checking it out.

Weekend +

Rich was gone hunting for the weekend. So you know what they say, when the cat is away the mice will play. I soaked up as much mommy daughter time as I could. The girls and I spent an enjoyable weekend getting out of the house. Friday night, we went to my friends softball game. I love softball and I love watching softball. I love being out at the ballpark and even more, I love playing. I really miss playing and hope to play again, soon. It's incredibly hard to go watch a game, even though I enjoy it, I WANT to play. Both my girls had a great time running around the park, playing with the other kids. We ate out Friday night before the game. We don't have too many options when it comes to resteraunts in my town, so I totally take advantage when I go somewhere. I had Greek food (Gyros, Rice and Salad) and the girls wanted Panda Express. After the game, I splurged and got frozen yogurt. So yummy it feels incredibly sinful for a dieter, but it's not. Oh how I love froyo!

Saturday the girls and I visited my younger sister. We were suppossed to go to my nephews football game, but just didn't make it in time. The girls and I played at a park near my sisters house. It brought back so many good childhood memories because I also grew up in the same neighborhood as my sister now lives. I spent 8 + years pracitcing softball at the park. So many other good memories too. It was kinda of neat watching my girls play and enjoy their time there.
At night I was feeling lonely and was trying to figure out what to do. My friend mentioned on facebook she was going to church, so I figured, why not? The girls wanted to go, so we loaded up and took off. Once I got there, my friend texted me that she wasn't going after all but I was already in the parking lot and figured God must really want me here tonight. So I went in. The message was great, a few parts really hit home and gave me something things to think about. After church, we headed to my older sister's house we were going to eat dinner over there. Amelia had been asking to see her cousin all day. It was really cute. On my way there, I drove by a Marie Calendars and stopped in. Lemon Merage Pie is only $6.99 this month. I just had to get one, I figured I'd share it with my sister and her family. Yeah I know pie on a diet, right? I really think it's ok to splurge every once in a while. It's helped me feel far less resentful and remain focused. Before I would have stopped and got the pie, hid it in my car and taken it home to be eaten mostly by myself. This time, I took it to my sisters, shared it will 6 other people and left the remaining pie there. I do have to admit though, I ate 2 pieces. My sister served me one and I ate it all. Amelia didn't end up eating hers, she was more intersted in playing and so I ate it. :X I normally don't give into seconds. It ws incredibly delicious though.

I ate so much delicious food this weekend that Sunday night I went for a run. Zumara and I ran about 4.5 miles. My knees have been bothering me a little bit lately. I've always had bad knees but the pain comes and it goes in cycles. Lately I've been able to feel them a lot more, probably because I've been running a lot more. Zumara called and asked if I wanted to run. I'm so glad we've become friends. I've had many people say, we should run together but they are never as dedicated to it as I am. They fall through and it never really works out. Zumara and I are equally dedicated to running and it seems to work out really well for both of us. On nights, she needs a push I'm there and vice versa.

I did cycle at the gym this morning. Dana's monday class. 62 mintues of cardio + cool down. Her Monday class is usually the most intense. She really pushes you to do your best and ride hard every time. I am going to try to make this part of my regular routine, as long as I am not working. My goal is to increase my running after cycle in preparation for the tahoe triathlon. It's less than a month away now. I didn't run today because I ran so late last night but in the future I will. I didn't want to injure myself today by doing too much. So I did an ab workout. Spent about 20 mintues just focusing on my abs. They are the slowest part of my body to show change. I did 300 crunches total. 100 x right obliques 100 x left obliques and 100 x center plus 50 leg extensions to focus on my lower abs. I would really like to see some more change in my stomach. I'd say from my naval to my hips is my problem area. I could really deal with my hips if my stomach looked better. But I've come along way. I still remember the first time I was told to suck in my abs, I couldn't feel them, let alone do a sit up. So I'm greatful for progress even if it is slow moving.

Oddly enough, even though I splurged so much this weekend. I'm looking forward to weigh in tomorrow. Rich said when he came home that I look skinnier, so I'm hoping he is right :)

Double Duty

I did double duty today. This morning, I went to cycle. Then ran a mile on the treddy. Not because a mile is something brag worthy of course, but to get used to the feeling of running after cycling and prepare for my tri. September will be here soon. After running, I got a mat and focused on my abs. I did 100 crunches on both obliques and in the middle = 300 crunches total. I notice my lower abs are really weak. I need to strengthen them. I had to go to the trainer station to get a mat; apparently, one of them had noticed me running and commented that I had a good hard run. I couldn't help but laugh. I only ran 1 mile and I know I was pouring sweat. The sweat was really from cycle not the run.

I ate poorly today. I'm not going to lie. I took my friend Clare out to lunch for her birthday. WE had Wings and Rings. I ate a moderate amount but I know the caloric count has to be insane. For dinner, I had an amazing turkey, bacon, avocado sandwich from subway. So good and I didn't have any may. Light oil and vinegar with salt and pepper.

So the double duty part - I went running tonight. Zamara came over and we ran a big loop around the neighborhood. I would have done two loops but her knee started bothering her and I know it's better to stop then get injured. I went to mapmyrun.com and we actually covered 2.25 miles. Not bad for only half of our planned run. Hopefully, it helps make up for the bad lunch :X

Fun fit friday

I had a great day yesterday. I slept in a bit and was slow to wake so I didn't make the morning gym routine. I had a lunch date with an old friend from high school. It was nice to catch up. Mariyn and I got fajitas for one and shared them. She ate as much as I did, so I'm optimistic I didn't over eat. I had water to drink. There is a natural foods store I wanted to check out in the same plaza. I'd never been in before but heard great things. I ended up buying Quinoa in bulk. It's the only rice alternative (including brown rice) Rich has liked or found tolerable. I've been buying it at our local store but I noticed it was nearly $5.00 for a 12 oz box. Yeah- that seems pricey to me too. So I bought it in bulk $3.75 per lbs. Good find!

Mariyn and I did some school clothes shopping. She still needs more stuff: shoes, backpack, clothes. She goes back to school in like 10 days. Not so exciting and it's still going to be warm here for a while. And well, there isn't much summer stuff left. It's all fall, and well fall doesn't really happen here until the end of October and even then, it's still warm.

Oh and the fun stuff. There was a Zumba "party" at the gym. Fun it friday they called it and guests were free. All 5 instructors taught about 3 sounds each, there were prizes and fruit treys. It was a lot of fun. A few of the instructors are new, and one, Julia I hadn't seen in a long time. She subbed for other instructors but didn't have her own class at our gym until recently. She asked a question about one of the new instructors and I told her she had taken over Adrianna's class. Then she says, "I think I remember you. Wow, you've really lost a lot of weight!" Yeah about 65lbs I told her. She was really amazed and well, yeah made me realize how fat I was. The first time she subbed was probably in October or November. I could barely keep up in her class, correction I wasn't keeping up with her class but trying my best. She is very fast paced and I swore she was a monster. A while later she came back and I could keep up, easily. She was friendly and we talked for a while. She was really shocked that I was the same person. I don't do zumba very often anymore but it really did help me get on the right track with fitness and exercise.

The girls and I came home and I got ready for a girls night out with my friends. It was a food fest and we played games complete with alcoholic beverages and lots of girl talk. My friend brought Strawberrys with this sweet cream. So delish. I totally over ate and am feeling bloated and gassy today. Nice, I know. . Oh and one of the best parts, I was kid free. My girls stayed with my siter and enjoyed time with their cousins.

I didn't get home until after 2 am. So of course, today, I'm tired but bound to do something productive.

7/28

Mariyn had her first sleep over at her friends last night. I had a hard time letting her go, we have had a no spending the night at friends policy but it was a slumber party for one of her very best friends. I know the family very well and I didn't want Mariyn to feel left out. So Rich and I let her.

Amelia got up early, as usual and came and woke me up with Chocolate syrup. She had been in the fridge poored herself a glass of milk and wanted her morning chocolate milk. Mind you, she is 3 had to climb to get the milk and the chocolate from the fridge. It was cute. Groggy, I felt she had spilled milk but even attempted her own mess. She is so dang cute.

After the milk incident, I got up and going. We made it to the gym for the 9:30 spin class. My body was extra tired this morning but I wasn't really sore. Now my legs are not only tired but sore. Especially my hips.

Amelia had speech and I think she is showing improvement. Tonight she said, "Dad it's time to eat" at dinner time. Huge progress for her! I bought the girls and I smoothies from Juice it Up today. So yummy. Then we went to the park and met up with my sister and nieces and nephews. My oldest niece told me, Auntie you're looking smaller. You lost weight; you look good." It's only been a few weeks since she's seen me. So sweet of her to compliment me even if the scale isn't showing weight loss at least I'm looking better.


For dinner, I made baked It was filling and good.Tonight, instead of running, I'm going to swim laps. I think it's best to give my legs a little break.


You are what you eat

Breakfast
Protein w/ Soy milk
Lunch
Baked Fries, 4 Chicken nuggets
Dinner
terriyaki chicken, quinoa, and zucchini w/ mushrooms.

Snacks:
Almonds
Smoothie
Nectarine

Sweat Tea & Swimming

Had a really good day. Have I ever mentioned how much I love sweet tea? Yeah, I know it loaded with sugar and with calories. But it's so delish! I'm sure it contributed to my weight gain. I remember going to Micky-D's and getting sweet teas almost daily (sometimes multiple trips were made per day) because I loved them so much. Lately I've been wanting to drink something other than water and I'm burnt out on crystal light. I've really been craving Sweet tea. Naturally, I've been fighting the craving because I know how loaded with sugar it is. But then I got this grand idea to try something new. Instead of sugar, I thought why not use splenda? It's a 0 calorie sweetener. I eat it in so many other things, why not sweet tea? I bought tea bags and today brewed some tea and poored in Splenda and stired it up while it was still warm. Then refrigerated. Now it's not the same as Mickey-D's but it is satisfying the craving and well probably a better choice, calorie wise.

The girls wanted to go swimming. So after dinner (bison burgers) I took them. I finally broke down and bought a swim cap. So I decided to try it out and do some laps. Well 50 laps to be exact (40 freestyle 10 backstroke). The swim cap = GREAT investment! I'm not fighting my long hair or getting tangled up in it. I am smoothly gliding through the water, well as smooth as I know how, ha ha. It was so much easier to swim my laps. My next swimming investment: Goggles and a swimmers swimsuit (possibly a tri suit). Goggles first sooner than later.

Oh and I registered for my next 5K Davis Moo-nlight run. I've got two friends who are going to run with me. It's Saturday night. I'm excited - not as much for me as I am for my friends. It's both of their first 5Ks and it's a really big fun event. I wanted to do the half marathon, but it's their first race and I just don't have that much extra money. Plus, I know 13 miles is a bit of a stretch for me - a really long possibly impossible at this time stretch. I would probably end up walking a lot of it. So, the 5K it is for me. I know it's still going to be a great event. :) I'm excited.

Gluttony

I had a busy weekend, full of family, friends and cake. Saturday one of my friend's were celebrating their daughter's 2nd birthday. We started off in the morning shopping getting birthday gifts and we didn't eat lunch. My friend served fruit and nachos at the party. I was just going to eat fruit but the kids didn't finish their nachos and so I ended up eating the rest of theirs, I was hungry. I figured it was just a little bit and I knew I was going to want the cake. But I love nachos and hadn't had them in a long time.

After the party, my mom called. My great aunt is in the hospital and a lot of our family was gathering at one of my cousins houses. My mom said I should go and considering my cousin only lives about a mile a way I knew she was right. My girls and I arrived late but there was food galore! Tamales, ribs, a ton of dips. Cake, Cupcakes and more cake! WOW! So much food. I feed my girls, but was very careful about what I ate. A little bit later, my Aunt Vicki got there she lives about 2 hours away and I just love her and her family so very much. She brought some of my cousins with her. It was Savannah's birthday so after she visited everyone she asked if she could come over and do cake and ice cream more privately with Savannah. Of course, I obliged and devoured another piece of cake! I'm a sucker for cake I tell you. Really though, I have a major sweet tooth. I'm a sucker for anything sweet. Cake is a major weakness for me. But that's just part of who I am...I've gotten a bit better. Portion control really isn't that hard for my anymore. Before, I would always get a HUGE piece of cake, corner lots of frosting. We were celebrating, right? LOL Sunday, my aunt had me serve her a tiny piece of cake. I got a normal size not my normally HUGE one She finished hers and wanted more. I ended up telling her to take some of mine (about 1/3). Before, I would have never passed up cake let alone share a piece. Plus, I asked that they take the leftovers home with them. I didn't want to devour the rest after they left because I was lonely. Rich was working late. Good, right? Progress, Yes! While I still have food issues, I am much more aware of them and can deal with them so much better than before.

Well, most of the time. Sunday was father's day. I made Rich a pancake breakfast. I made myself hungry girl pancakes (lower cal) and morningstar sausage. He requested cafe bravo for dinner, so I ended up splurging there. Plus, I'm sure I had at least 1 skinny cow ice cream. The weather is warmer and I've been loving the ice cream lately. Don't know, but it's been a lot harder to not give into cravings lately and my sweet tooth has been very active!

Yesterday, the girls and I hung out at home. We decided to ride our bikes to the gym. I got them all out trailer on and everything. We got about half way to the gym and I hear this click click sound. So I get off my bike and look. I ran over something with the trailer! Ughh.. Not thinking, I pulled it out of the tire. Of course, I hear this quick "pshhhh" sound and all the air escaping. I had to turn around, I had a flat! No fun. By the time I made it home, I was going to be way late to my class. Plus we already had a busy evening planned. So I had to miss the gym entirely.

Rich and I are bike shopping for him. I've been watching craigslist. I want to get him a bike similar to mine. I know it's a high quality bike and will suit his needs and last. It will be fun to do family bike rides together when we can. He seemed pretty excited about it too. Last night I thought I found the perfect bike for him. We negotiated a reasonable price and drove all the way to Stockton to get it. Turns out, it was too small. Rich got hungry and wanted to grab some food while we were out. Even though, I had dinner waiting in the crock pot at home. We ended up eating at In and Out. It's a rarity for me to even agree on eating fast food but he was so let down (and angry) because we drove so far to get the bike and it didn't work out. We made the trip worth it to him and stopped by bass pro shop. He was immediately in a better mood.

First Swim

Some thing funny has been going on with me lately - I keep getting light headed, or faint feeling while I'm working out. It's happened a number of times in the last week or two. I haven't changed up my routine really. I don't feel as if I'm pushing myself any harder. I'm not really sure what's going on. I wonder if it could be allergy related? There are a lot of pollens in the air right now. Or is it diet related and perhaps I'm not eating enough of the right things? Or something else?

After about 45 minutes of weights at the gym, I started to feel it again. Bad so I went to the locker room and relaxed for a few minutes until the feeling went away. Then I came back and finished up my weights. I ended up doing about an hours worth of weight training. I didn't do any cardio at the gym.

The girls wanted to swim today and our pool is finally ready. We had to drain it and it's been refilling over the last couple of days. Mariyn has been so ready to swim so I figured I'd get my cardio in that way. Plus my next 5K is coming up on Sunday; I don't want to run too much before then. I let the girls play in the pool while I swam laps. At first I decided I would swim 10 laps. I've never been much of a swimmer. Don't get me wrong, I love the water but I've never been properly trained on technique. After I completed the first 10 laps, I decided on 10 more. Then 10 more. I'm not sure how long I spent swimming laps as I was constantly interrupted by the kids. You know them swimming in my path or saying watch me do this and well, just general parental supervision. ;-)

I ended up doing 10 laps free style, 10 laps back stroke, and 10 laps free style. My pool is 40feet. So I swam that distance 30 times. 40 x 30 = 120 feet. 120 feet = 365.76 meters. Which is pretty close to a 1/4 a mile and pretty darn close to the 400 meters I will need to swim for the triathlon in September! Not bad for my first time but there is plenty of room for improvement! I need to get a swim cap, goggles and ear plugs they would be helpful in my training.

After that, I swam with the girls and enjoyed the sunshine.

You are what you eat:

Breakfast: Protein and banana

Lunch: Chicken Salsa Salad

Dinner: Chinese Food - Mongolian Beef w/ Rice.

Snacks: Strawberries, Kiwi, Cherries, 1 spoon of peanut butter & 1 bite of ice cream.

Still Hovering . . .

I feel like I'm at a stand still with my weight just hovering where I am. Ughh... I have no time to move into maintenance mode - I still have more weight to lose. At least 40 more lbs! Some days, I am really happy with my size now, you know when I'm putting on my clothes that haven't fit me in a long time, trying to wear something that is too big, or the best part admiring my muscular arms and more scuplted legs. But then, all it takes is one look in the mirror and I see exactly how fat I still am. =/

The thing that gets me is I am about the same weight as I've been most of my post-children life. I'm eating well and exercising and the weight isn't coming off as fast as it was. Is it a plateau? Do I need to mix up my routine more? I know I was eating healthier before and I really think that is the key. I'm eating ok now, not over eating but possibly eating too much to lose. Saturday Rich asked me to pick up some Skinny Cow Ice cream cones and so I did but I also picked up some Ben and Jerry's Fro Yo. Probably not the smartest thing. Yeah fro yo is less calories than ice cream but still Ben & Jerry's is pretty high up there because of their mix ins. To top it off, I felt I deserved it because I went on the extra long bike ride, Rich and I were fighting. He had to work Saturday night, so I ate the entire pint of Cherry Garcia Fro Yo. Yeah probably wasn't good for my weight loss.

I feel burnt out of dieting. Burnt out from the gym. I need motivation and don't want to give up - I think if I seen the scale move quickly again, it would all be worth ... heck I know it's worth it. I do love feeling fit. I just wish I would feel progress...

A new kind of compliment

My cabinets are were nearly empty. Nothing left in my fridge except leftovers that were probably growing stuff. I needed to go grocery shopping, in a bad way. I've been procrastinating it and we've been eating out more and more. Not a good habit if you're trying to lose weight or save money. Finally, I broke down and went to Costco. I stocked up on all my favorites: raspberry, blackberry, watermelon, pineapple, spinach, pistachios, almonds etc. The girls and I sampled and looked around. Carefully, I tried to remember all the things we needed while trying to still make it out of the store without breaking the bank. Finally, I get to the checkout and as I'm unloading my cart I feel like I am being watched. I noticed an elderly lady was staring at me a long stare too. She was watching me unload and staring at my food. Finally, when I'm all done unloading my cart, she says, "You really feed your family well!"

Wow! What a compliment, I replied "Thank you and said I've been dieting and trying to teach my family healthy eating habits. " I know it's really important to model good eating and a healthy lifestyle. Her comment really made my day. There are so many families, young families especially, whose diet is made up of junk foods, boxed foods or fast foods because it's often easier, cheaper or faster than making a nutritious meal. I know, I was one of those families. I've started to pay attention at the grocery store and what the person in front of me buys. You can really tell a lot about their eating habits by what is in their shopping cart. Not to say I don't have a treat every now and then heck, I even bought skinny cow ice cream while I was at Costco. But the bulk of my food was fresh and healthy. And well that just made me feel good.