Sunday, January 30, 2011


I weighed in today, I don't know why, I wasn't expecting a change, and if there was I knew it would be a gain. I've been so busy and stressed lately, I've skipped a lot of meals and eaten less than healthy snacks. There have been days where I didn't eat anything until dinner. We ate out last night. The kids stayed at my mom's and Richard and I celebrated our upcoming 9th wedding anniverary. Crazy to think that we could have possibly been together *that* long, but we have.

We layed in bed late this morning, then got up and showered. Rich weighed in and said he lost 2 lbs. MEN! His weight flucatates a lot though and he isn't really trying to lose weight. This got me to thinking, that I should weigh in. I can't remember the last time I did, it's probably been 3 weeks or so. It's sort of liberating. I had just gotten out of the shower, I was undressed my hair was wet. I hadn't eaten yet so I figured, why not. Besides with my hair being wet, I just *knew* I would weigh heavier, lol. I already had my excuss ready!

So I stepped on the scale and was shocked! I mean shocked, 184 lbs. That was down 1 lbs since my lowest weigh in. I'm greatful I'm able to maintain my weight loss with everything I am dealing with right now.

Monday, January 24, 2011

Catch Up

So many things have come up that I've wanted to blog about, but I was busy at the time and just couldn't stop and sit down.... Hmmm Now, what was it that I wanted to say? haha

I want to run. Yes, I know you know this. But the last several weeks I've been under so much stress, scrutiny and I just need an outlet. There were so many things that I felt like I needed to run off. Physically though, I just can't. I can tell I'm getting better now though. I'm hopeful that by the end of February, I will be running again. My ankle seems to look more normal, more stable and I'm in less pain. But I can tell it's not as strong as it should be before I go out and run again. I can't even begin to explain how much my mind and body begs for a nice long run.

Saturday, I was crying to Rich. I feel overwhelmed like I'm being pulled in 100 different directions. Between family obligations, softball and our investment I've had little time for me. Which again, is one reason I NEED to run. It helps me cope. Very sweetly, my husband understands and offers to take me on a date. We went out for dinner at the Diamond Back Grill and planned on going bowling together afterwards. We ended up going to Black Oak Casino to go bowling but because it was a weekend the lanes were $25 per hour, not bad if you're going as a group but very pricey for just two people. We ended up playing nickle slot machines and set a budget for our cost of entertainment. Rich lost $20 and I won $10. So basically, we spent $10 on entertainment and enjoyed an evening together. This was both of our first times going to Black Oak, neither of us are big gambler types and didn't set out to go gambling that evening. It just sort of happened but we had fun.

We picked up the girls from the sitter and went to bed. In the morning, we laid around in bed until about noon. - Amazing for us. Rich and I talked and really reconnected. We hadn't been on a date, in about 18 months - 2 years. Too long, I know. Reconnecting and dating is so important to a healthy marriage. We both realize this and hope to have more dates soon. We loved laying in bed and talking to each other all morning, cuddling. It really felt like our date hadn't ended. Amazing I tell you. I feel so blessed to have Rich.

Speaking of blessings. I know I need to pray more. Running can not be my only emotional outltet. I have to rely more on God to help me deal with things when I'm frustrated and overwhelmed. I know a good long talk with God is in order. Even if nothing changes, I know it's important to talk with God.

I had a moment today. A moment of pure joy and bliss. I did laundry and was digging out my pants. I lifted them up and was looking at them. The just seemed so small and cute. I wondered how they could possibly fit me. I sat there and starred at my pants for a good long while. Then, instead of getting dressed I decided to take care of me and take a nice long bath.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Fat Pig

I'm sorry I've been neglecting you. Life has seemed to have gotten really busy lately. I have a lot of obligations/jobs for someone who doesn't really work. Ahh... the life of a stay at home mom.

I miss my routine. I attempt to read most of your blogs from my iphone but commenting is a lot harder I've found. Hopefully I get used to it soon or get more computer time.

I heard through the grape vine that someone called me a "Fat Pig" last night and has been using this name for me for a while now. Yeah - so childish, I know. I'm still overweight I realize this but in the grand scheme of things I don't look that FAT anymore. In fact, I'm pretty sure the person who said this about me is much larger than I am. Maybe not weight but in terms of size. But then again, the type of adult that would just casually call people names and verbally attack them, based on nonsense and appearance, isn't one that I would consider classy. So really I am considering the source. But I would be dishonest if I said the comment didn't shock me and send me into a reality check, questioning my weight issues. Yeah, I really don't like drama in my life. I can seriously do with out and just get my fill by reading Facebook, TMZ or Perez Hiliton.

Fun stuff, I tell you. The curve ball life has thrown at me has left no time for swimming, working out or really anything about me lately. I really need to learn my limits better. I need to pray about things.

Friday, January 14, 2011

Peace of Mind

I finally went to the doctor today about my ankle. Yeah it's still bothering me. A lot. It's not the worst pain in the world but it's consistent and it's pain. Plus my foot/ankle just looks funny. Since I don't have insurance I've been avoiding going but I know I needed to go now. If not for anything other than peace of mind that I'm not doing more harm than good to my foot. I want to be able to run again, play softball and train. I want to create goals for 2011 but before I can even do that I have to be able to know I can workout.

I really don't have the extra money to waste on testing and doctor visits just to find out I'm fine. I don't have health insurance either so I'm cautious about going to the doctor. I realized this week that my primary injury is nearly 2 months old and my secondary injury (the worse of the two) is over a month old. I think it's time to see a doctor.

Doc said, I've torn ligaments in my ankle. There are 3 rubber band like ligaments around your ankle and I tore/strained one of them very severely and possibly fractured a small peice of the bone. He said it would take approx 3-6 months to heal from my injury but my ankle is surprisingly stable for the type of injury I have. He didn't do an X-Ray or MRI today because he feels it wouldn't change the treatment of the injury at this time. Unless you are a professional athlete they typically do not operate on these injuries. It will take a while, he said but it should heal on it's own. If I go over 6 months without healing then we should consider surgery and other options. For now, he said I am doing everything just right. Ibuprofen, Ice, Wrap and no impact.

He said I could continue to swim that it's an excellent workout for my type of injury. I'm relived - not because my injury is better but because I know I will get better. Some day, in God's time. I'm anxious to fill my racing calendar but I know my first goal to to get healthy so I can be active again.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Busy Bee

So much has happened in the last couple of days. I"ve barely had time to process everything that has happened. It' been drama to say the least but I can't post it on the net. I've been stressed and busy. I can say that it had nothing to do with my friends or family and we are all doing well. It has to do with an organization I am involved with. So I guess, I will have to leave it at that.

Because of everything that happened I will be busier than ever trying to balance everything. But at the end of the day, I know it will be worth it. I haven't made it to the gym since Thursday. Good news is my last work out was good! I was sore until Saturday. Which surprised me because I didn't lift as heavy as I used too.

This week is full of stuff to take care of. Incredibly busy but I hope to find a little me time in there too. Oh, and I've decided I should go to the doctor about my ankle. Although it doesn't hurt all the time, I've decided that it looks mangled and should be looked at.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Gym Time

I made it to the gym today! My gym, gym A. Mariyn's Christmas vacation is over and she is back in school. I decided last night that today would be a good day to start back at the gym. Why wait until Monday? That is only procrastinating the inevitable and allowing me to waste away longer.

I had all of our clothes laid out last night. I know I am NOT a morning person so it's just easier for us to get somewhere on time if I do this the night before. I got to the gym just before 8 am. Body Pump starts promptly at 8:30 and requires some set up. Plus, I knew the gym would be more crowded because of the kids went back to school and everyone wants to work on their resolutions.

I did body pump with less than my normal weights. I'm not trying to re-injure myself. I was a little nervous about going back. Is it to soon? What are people going to say? What do I tell them, I never actually WENT to the doctor. I don't want to look like a slacker or one of those people who are just there because it's a new year.

I felt welcome and at home. Even a little guilty for getting a temporary membership to Gym B. I missed seeing the regulars, I miss the classes and the routine. The Know Your Own Strength contest is back and I'm thinking about joining it. Not that I expect to win, because I don't but I did so well last year during the contest. I'd love to get those results again. I'm a competitive personality. Competition does me well. I have to wait until the last round to sign up though, I want to give myself a fair chance. I know I can do better when I'm totally healed.

Lunges, Push ups and planks are especially difficult for me right now. The are basic low impact floor exercises, I know but with my injury and the position of the ankle, it really hurt. Which tells me I am still several weeks out from running or any impact exercise.

Ahh... It feels so good to be back working out again.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011


I went shopping this weekend! I had a few Christmas things to return that didn't workout/fit whatever from my mom and hubby. So I took the money and went shopping for myself. I spent nearly 4 hours inside TJ Maxx searching for the best deals. I needed so much stuff, I wanted to not only get clothes that I love but the most bang for my buck.

I tried on a variety of clothes, 35 items to be exact, and narrowed it down greatly. At TJ Maxx, I got 1 pair of jeans, 1 pair of slacks, 6 shirts, 1 black cardigan type thing, boots and a ring for $145 including tax. Not bad. I went over budget but really not by much and I got a lot of thing I needed. I also hit up Kohls, I had $10 of Kohl's cash to spend or it expired. At Kohl's, I ended up getting a nice sweater and two pairs of leggings (brown and grey). I think I spent $25 total at Kohl's. Then I got a cute button up dress at JC Penny's on clearance for less than $12. What can I say, I'm a happy girl.

I had a lot of fun shopping. Zumara and I spent several hours scouring the stores looking for the best deals both Saturday and Sunday. I tried on so much stuff at TJ Maxx, mostly because I didn't know what size I would be exactly. Out of the 10 pairs of pants, I got the two I liked the most. Most didn't fit my body type right because they are junior sizes. There is a huge difference in the way misses clothes fit me and to the way junior sizes fit. I'm ok with that and I love my curves.

I recall memories of bringing in zillons of clothes into a dressing room to only find out that nothing fit and leave crying. This time, I brought in so much stuff that not only fit but that I liked. I had a really difficult choice narrowing stuff down. I can't wait to be at goal, shopping is fun again.

I called my mom one I left the store to tell her of all my finds and that I really did spend the Christmas money on myself. Often, I can't find anything and the money gets spent on other things before I know it. She asked me to take a picture of my stuff to send to her. So Mariyn took this of me in my favorite outfit.

I love the back of this shirt! The wings have the cutest finger size holes. I feel sexy without showing off too much. <3 Ahh to enjoy shopping again!

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Weighing in

It's Tuesday, which means I held myself accountable and weighed in today. I didn't really want to because I haven't been able to do much physically right now. But I have cleaned up my eating a little bit and started trying again. Not over indulging but I haven't been strict yet either. I didn't anything would change on the scale, so why look? If anything I figure there would be a gain I ate out last night and had a bowl of ice cream over the weekend.

I stepped on the scale this morning and it read 185! I was shocked. That is back down the 4 lbs from the holidays. It must have been bloat or something because I am just as flabby looking as I was. I can tell my muscle tone just isn't as defined, maybe that is why I lost weight? Who knows?!? But I'm glad to be back at 185 and not closer to 190. Isnt' it funny the scale can have such an effect on your mood. I went from being disappointed before I even stepped on the scale to optomistic and happy, real quick and nothing about my body really changed.

I'm trying to figure out a new exercise schedule. Mariyn goes back to school on Thursday. Amelia goes back tomorrow. Hopefully, I can figure out something -- soon.

Monday, January 3, 2011

Tale of Two Gyms

On NYE I posted that I tried out a different gym and went swimming. I was lucky enough to get a 30 day pass. I plan on using it as much as possible the next month, but the gym is 30 minutes away from my home. It's going to take extra planning and effort to get over there and use the gym.

On a different note, I was surprised the other day when going to this gym. Let's call it gym B. Gym B is the largest chain of gyms in my area and probably the most popular but it's not a national chain. The gym I go to, is a national chain but only has a few location in my area (2) and both franchises are owned by the same person/family.

I was a little nervous to go to gym B. A new gym can be very intimidating. The girls and I went with a coupon/certificate thing from my mom. We had to listen to the regular sales pitch in order to get the month pass. I'm not at all interested in signing a contract before I can even use a facility but whatever... I listened, I said no thank you. It wasn't hard to do because the monthly rates are 3 times the amount I am paying, childcare is $5 a month cheaper though. I got a 30 day pass. Upon entering gym B was very different from what I am used to. There were a lot more employees at the gym than mine. And they looked different -- well just average. Many of them, were overweight some obese. At my gym (A), everyone is thin and very attractive. When I started working out, I knew everyone at Gym A was attractive and thin but I just figured that is what all gyms do. They have to sell their membership/concept, right?

After listening to the sells pitch, I put my girls in the childcare. Gym B's childcare facilities are far superior to gym A. The girls had a great time, played and made friends. Always a plus. I took to the locker room and quickly changed for my swim.

The pool was indoors small but long, warm and chemically. I know I'm spoiled because I have my own pool and don't have to use a lot of chemicals. So I'm willing to look past that. There was another lady using the pool. The sauna and spa were also in the pool area. Two guys, who looked like "homies" were hanging out pool side watching. Kinda felt odd but they were there before I was... So I got in and swam. I tried to count laps but I always lose track. I swam for 30 minutes and it just felt so good to be exercising again. It was relaxing and a nice option for me right now.

I got out of the pool and the homies finally left. I got changed, grabbed my kids and left gym B. It will be a huge blessing for me this winter. But I can't get over how different the two gyms really are. Then there is this awkward part of me that feels like I was unfaithful/cheating on gym a, my gym. Weird, I know.

I'm hoping to squeeze in more swim/gym time into my schedule this week.

My Running Buddy

Zumara, my running buddy got up at 6:30 am and ran 10 miles in the rain. I was so proud of her. It's her first time running in a race without me. Originally, we were supposed to run our first half marathon(s) today. Obviously, plans changed due to my injury. She was nervous about running and almost didn't: it was rainy, it wasn't very organized because it was a free run and you could choose your mileage up to 50 miles. This picture was taken at the 6 mile mark. Did you check out her legs? I'm envious... Did I mention it was early, cold and wet?

I slept in a little longer than I should have but I got up and met her and the 4,5,6, and 8 mile marks. Then back at the finish line. I miss running. I want to sign up for an event but I know my foot/ankle isn't ready yet. I don't know when it will be. Hopefully, soon. All I can do is be supportive for my runner friends.

Zumara was amazing this morning. Check out her legs. I'm so proud of her.