When I started eating healthy and exercising, I noticed my body was changing. I was changing not only physically and mentally. Something else too, my skin was healthier, my hair was healthier and I felt more rested and more alert even though I would often workout until I was at my limits. I was able to be optomistic easily and felt less stressed. My outlook on life was a lot more positive than it had ever been before.
Now, that I haven't worked out much in the last two months (yes, it's been that long). I'm not eating as healthy as I was. I still make good choices but not great choices. I give into junk, cravings, eating out and other forms of diet sabatoge with little to no resistance. I'm going through a lot of personal stress right now and I can tell, my body is reacting to it. My skin is breaking out, my hair looks less shinny and healthy. I get cranky, moody and reach breaking points faster. I often feel overwhelmed and I turn to food.
See how quickly old habbits and coping mechanisims can come back? The one thing that is not back is the weight but I can easily see how my excuses and behavior can cause a slipper slope and the weight would follow.
Another thing I noticed, in JanuaryI missed my mom's monthly bible study. I completely forgot about it. Coincidence, I think not. Every month, I enjoy bible study it gives me a new perspective and a way to rejuvenate.
Tomorrow is the February bible study. I'm looking forward to it.
I'm looking forward to getting back into the gym too. Many of my gym friends have let me know, I've sulked long enough and that even though I can't do everything I can do somethings. Maybe that is the kick in the pants that I need...
Showing posts with label Faith. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Faith. Show all posts
Monday, February 7, 2011
Monday, January 24, 2011
Catch Up
So many things have come up that I've wanted to blog about, but I was busy at the time and just couldn't stop and sit down.... Hmmm Now, what was it that I wanted to say? haha
I want to run. Yes, I know you know this. But the last several weeks I've been under so much stress, scrutiny and I just need an outlet. There were so many things that I felt like I needed to run off. Physically though, I just can't. I can tell I'm getting better now though. I'm hopeful that by the end of February, I will be running again. My ankle seems to look more normal, more stable and I'm in less pain. But I can tell it's not as strong as it should be before I go out and run again. I can't even begin to explain how much my mind and body begs for a nice long run.
Saturday, I was crying to Rich. I feel overwhelmed like I'm being pulled in 100 different directions. Between family obligations, softball and our investment I've had little time for me. Which again, is one reason I NEED to run. It helps me cope. Very sweetly, my husband understands and offers to take me on a date. We went out for dinner at the Diamond Back Grill and planned on going bowling together afterwards. We ended up going to Black Oak Casino to go bowling but because it was a weekend the lanes were $25 per hour, not bad if you're going as a group but very pricey for just two people. We ended up playing nickle slot machines and set a budget for our cost of entertainment. Rich lost $20 and I won $10. So basically, we spent $10 on entertainment and enjoyed an evening together. This was both of our first times going to Black Oak, neither of us are big gambler types and didn't set out to go gambling that evening. It just sort of happened but we had fun.
We picked up the girls from the sitter and went to bed. In the morning, we laid around in bed until about noon. - Amazing for us. Rich and I talked and really reconnected. We hadn't been on a date, in about 18 months - 2 years. Too long, I know. Reconnecting and dating is so important to a healthy marriage. We both realize this and hope to have more dates soon. We loved laying in bed and talking to each other all morning, cuddling. It really felt like our date hadn't ended. Amazing I tell you. I feel so blessed to have Rich.
Speaking of blessings. I know I need to pray more. Running can not be my only emotional outltet. I have to rely more on God to help me deal with things when I'm frustrated and overwhelmed. I know a good long talk with God is in order. Even if nothing changes, I know it's important to talk with God.
I had a moment today. A moment of pure joy and bliss. I did laundry and was digging out my pants. I lifted them up and was looking at them. The just seemed so small and cute. I wondered how they could possibly fit me. I sat there and starred at my pants for a good long while. Then, instead of getting dressed I decided to take care of me and take a nice long bath.
I want to run. Yes, I know you know this. But the last several weeks I've been under so much stress, scrutiny and I just need an outlet. There were so many things that I felt like I needed to run off. Physically though, I just can't. I can tell I'm getting better now though. I'm hopeful that by the end of February, I will be running again. My ankle seems to look more normal, more stable and I'm in less pain. But I can tell it's not as strong as it should be before I go out and run again. I can't even begin to explain how much my mind and body begs for a nice long run.
Saturday, I was crying to Rich. I feel overwhelmed like I'm being pulled in 100 different directions. Between family obligations, softball and our investment I've had little time for me. Which again, is one reason I NEED to run. It helps me cope. Very sweetly, my husband understands and offers to take me on a date. We went out for dinner at the Diamond Back Grill and planned on going bowling together afterwards. We ended up going to Black Oak Casino to go bowling but because it was a weekend the lanes were $25 per hour, not bad if you're going as a group but very pricey for just two people. We ended up playing nickle slot machines and set a budget for our cost of entertainment. Rich lost $20 and I won $10. So basically, we spent $10 on entertainment and enjoyed an evening together. This was both of our first times going to Black Oak, neither of us are big gambler types and didn't set out to go gambling that evening. It just sort of happened but we had fun.
We picked up the girls from the sitter and went to bed. In the morning, we laid around in bed until about noon. - Amazing for us. Rich and I talked and really reconnected. We hadn't been on a date, in about 18 months - 2 years. Too long, I know. Reconnecting and dating is so important to a healthy marriage. We both realize this and hope to have more dates soon. We loved laying in bed and talking to each other all morning, cuddling. It really felt like our date hadn't ended. Amazing I tell you. I feel so blessed to have Rich.
Speaking of blessings. I know I need to pray more. Running can not be my only emotional outltet. I have to rely more on God to help me deal with things when I'm frustrated and overwhelmed. I know a good long talk with God is in order. Even if nothing changes, I know it's important to talk with God.
I had a moment today. A moment of pure joy and bliss. I did laundry and was digging out my pants. I lifted them up and was looking at them. The just seemed so small and cute. I wondered how they could possibly fit me. I sat there and starred at my pants for a good long while. Then, instead of getting dressed I decided to take care of me and take a nice long bath.
Friday, December 31, 2010
Amazing
,2010 has been an amazing year for me. I've changed so much, not just in appearance but in my heart. I know God has been doing some great work in there and is continuing to change me. I am not sad to see 2010 go. I do not have a list of New Years resolutions to accomplish. Yet, I'm so excited for 2011 and the changes that God is going to continue to bring into my life and into my heart.
Of course, I still have so many adventures I want to accomplish. So many goals and dreams to dream. The inner-athlete is alive, awake and well.
I pray God blesses each and everyone of you in 2011 and that you see your life for what it is, a gift from God. I pray that he provides you strength and peace to meet and exceed in any challenge you may face. I pray that life is not only what you want out of it, but it is God's will being done.
Oh and I ended the year right. I got to the gym today and swam laps for about 30 minutes. It felt so good to be doing something active again.
Dec 2009
Nov 2010
Bring on 2011. :)
Of course, I still have so many adventures I want to accomplish. So many goals and dreams to dream. The inner-athlete is alive, awake and well.
I pray God blesses each and everyone of you in 2011 and that you see your life for what it is, a gift from God. I pray that he provides you strength and peace to meet and exceed in any challenge you may face. I pray that life is not only what you want out of it, but it is God's will being done.
Oh and I ended the year right. I got to the gym today and swam laps for about 30 minutes. It felt so good to be doing something active again.
Dec 2009
Nov 2010Bring on 2011. :)
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Prayer
My monthly mom's bible study was today and the topic was prayer. It was such a helpful topic for me. My prayers are always generic, always basic, always say the same thing. Really, though it's not my will I should be praying for, it's God's. I want his will to be done in my life.
If that means, it takes me longer to get to goal weight, I'm fine with that. If that means my injury teaches me a lesson in humility so be it. If that means, I stumble through this trial, I know I'm not alone. After all, isn't it the pray-er who changes, rather than the prayer that way. Jesus once prayed "not my will Lord, but Yours be done" Luke 22:42.
My entire journey has been goal focused and driven by meeting them. I've had a lot of success thus far. People have looked to me as an example, and a shinning star. Really though, it's not my success. It's Gods. Deep in my soul, I know he is using me right now. I'm sure of it. Deep in my soul, I know I'm different not because of me or who I am but because of who he is.
With that said, I know I'm struggling with dieting and not exercising. I know I need prayer about this. I know that I first must pray and tell God my needs, even though he already knows. I give him my injury. I give him my anguish. I have not given up on him, or on my self. This is just a bump in the road. I will take a valuable lesson and be blessed by this.
If that means, it takes me longer to get to goal weight, I'm fine with that. If that means my injury teaches me a lesson in humility so be it. If that means, I stumble through this trial, I know I'm not alone. After all, isn't it the pray-er who changes, rather than the prayer that way. Jesus once prayed "not my will Lord, but Yours be done" Luke 22:42.
My entire journey has been goal focused and driven by meeting them. I've had a lot of success thus far. People have looked to me as an example, and a shinning star. Really though, it's not my success. It's Gods. Deep in my soul, I know he is using me right now. I'm sure of it. Deep in my soul, I know I'm different not because of me or who I am but because of who he is.
With that said, I know I'm struggling with dieting and not exercising. I know I need prayer about this. I know that I first must pray and tell God my needs, even though he already knows. I give him my injury. I give him my anguish. I have not given up on him, or on my self. This is just a bump in the road. I will take a valuable lesson and be blessed by this.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
1st Health-aversary
Oh how my life has changed so much in a year. It's amazing to see how much I've changed, not just physically but spiritually and emotionally. God has truly been by my side this entire journey, giving me the strength and motivation to carry on. All the glory is his.
A year ago today, I made a decision that changed my life. I decided I was tired of being fat, I was tired of just living life and not really loving life. October 5, 2009 I decided that I was going to try to lose weight. I knew it wasn't going to be easy. It was that day, I made a choice -- not to give up. It was that single choice that snowballed and changed my life. I knew I would have good days and bad. I knew that change would not be easy and I knew that there might even be days I back slidded. I decided there and then, not to give up no matter what. I believed that with healthy eating and exercise and dedication I would be healthy again. It would take time, it would be hard but it's harder being fat.
I remember being terrified to go to the gym. I was so scared the girls at the front desk could see it in my face. I told them, I hadn't attempted to work out in 7 years and I was pretty sure I was going to pass out trying. My goal, 20 minutes of cardio, in the cinema where it was dark and safe. I was determined to try. Fortunately, I made it through and built on it. I challenged myself to make it to the gym 5 days a week for 3 weeks. No matter what - and I did.
A little over a year ago, I was lost. Hopeless and felt that I was too fat to do anything about it. I was an emotional mess, always stressed out, always in a hurry, always giving as much as I could to everyone but me. Really spread thin. I was in poor health and had many symptoms of type 2 diabetes and high blood pressure.
I am healthy, my blood pressure and blood sugars are normal. I handle stress so much better. I have more patience with my children and husband. I have a zest for life again and enjoy doing active things. I am more optomistic and do my best to give my worries to God. I work towards my goals feeling in control of life yet I know God is really the one in control.
In the last year, I've had many accomplishments, including:
71 lbs of weight loss. Start weight 258 lbs. Weight today 187 lbs.
Placing 1st in my age division on my first 5K
Ran a total of 4 5K races
Finished a triathlon
Ran 26.5 miles in a week
Commited to a year of lifestyle change
Completed the Gold's Gym Fitness Challenge
and Saturday I will finish my first 10K
And most importantly, I am teaching my children healthy eating habbits, exercise habbits and life style by example. I might not have met all the goals I thought I would this year, but I've made a huge dent in them. In God's timing I'm confident, I will.
Happy Health-aversary!
A year ago today, I made a decision that changed my life. I decided I was tired of being fat, I was tired of just living life and not really loving life. October 5, 2009 I decided that I was going to try to lose weight. I knew it wasn't going to be easy. It was that day, I made a choice -- not to give up. It was that single choice that snowballed and changed my life. I knew I would have good days and bad. I knew that change would not be easy and I knew that there might even be days I back slidded. I decided there and then, not to give up no matter what. I believed that with healthy eating and exercise and dedication I would be healthy again. It would take time, it would be hard but it's harder being fat.
I remember being terrified to go to the gym. I was so scared the girls at the front desk could see it in my face. I told them, I hadn't attempted to work out in 7 years and I was pretty sure I was going to pass out trying. My goal, 20 minutes of cardio, in the cinema where it was dark and safe. I was determined to try. Fortunately, I made it through and built on it. I challenged myself to make it to the gym 5 days a week for 3 weeks. No matter what - and I did.
A little over a year ago, I was lost. Hopeless and felt that I was too fat to do anything about it. I was an emotional mess, always stressed out, always in a hurry, always giving as much as I could to everyone but me. Really spread thin. I was in poor health and had many symptoms of type 2 diabetes and high blood pressure.
I am healthy, my blood pressure and blood sugars are normal. I handle stress so much better. I have more patience with my children and husband. I have a zest for life again and enjoy doing active things. I am more optomistic and do my best to give my worries to God. I work towards my goals feeling in control of life yet I know God is really the one in control.
In the last year, I've had many accomplishments, including:
71 lbs of weight loss. Start weight 258 lbs. Weight today 187 lbs.
Placing 1st in my age division on my first 5K
Ran a total of 4 5K races
Finished a triathlon
Ran 26.5 miles in a week
Commited to a year of lifestyle change
Completed the Gold's Gym Fitness Challenge
and Saturday I will finish my first 10K
And most importantly, I am teaching my children healthy eating habbits, exercise habbits and life style by example. I might not have met all the goals I thought I would this year, but I've made a huge dent in them. In God's timing I'm confident, I will.
Happy Health-aversary!
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Marathon Week
So last week, I said I wanted to increase my running mileage. And so I did. When I realied how far I ran this week, there was no way I couldn't run tonight. I wanted to make it to 26.2 miles. So tonight I ran 4.5 miles. Which means, I ran a whopping 26.5 miles this week! That is equivalent to running a full marathon (actually a tad more). I'm so proud of myself.
I really had a great weekend. This weekend Mariyn and I had originally planned to ride the Princess Promenade but it just wasn't in our budget to do so. Mariyn and I talked about it, she completly understood and even said, "Mom, I don't think I'm ready to ride that far anyways, maybe next year." She was so very sweet and understanding about the situation.
Earlier this summer, I had heard about a lavender farm, just outside of town. I wanted to take the girls on a bike ride there but Rich said, it was too dangerous because of traffic for the kids. Mariyn and I decided that instead of the bike ride, we would go to the lavender farm, which is only open to the public this weekend and won't be open again until December. It was gorgeous! And this wasn't even prime lavender season. The girls and I enjoyed lavender lemonade, lavender apple cider, lavender pumpkin cake (1 serving shared between 3 people) and the beautiful lavender plants. The atmosphere was so lovely and quaint. Perfect for a girls day outing. We even came home with our very own royal velvet lavender plant. On the way home, we stopped at Oakdale Cheese and had fresh grilled gouda cheese sandwiches. The kids enjoyed petting farm animals and we picniced by the pound. It really was a lovely afternoon.
I really had a great weekend. This weekend Mariyn and I had originally planned to ride the Princess Promenade but it just wasn't in our budget to do so. Mariyn and I talked about it, she completly understood and even said, "Mom, I don't think I'm ready to ride that far anyways, maybe next year." She was so very sweet and understanding about the situation.
Earlier this summer, I had heard about a lavender farm, just outside of town. I wanted to take the girls on a bike ride there but Rich said, it was too dangerous because of traffic for the kids. Mariyn and I decided that instead of the bike ride, we would go to the lavender farm, which is only open to the public this weekend and won't be open again until December. It was gorgeous! And this wasn't even prime lavender season. The girls and I enjoyed lavender lemonade, lavender apple cider, lavender pumpkin cake (1 serving shared between 3 people) and the beautiful lavender plants. The atmosphere was so lovely and quaint. Perfect for a girls day outing. We even came home with our very own royal velvet lavender plant. On the way home, we stopped at Oakdale Cheese and had fresh grilled gouda cheese sandwiches. The kids enjoyed petting farm animals and we picniced by the pound. It really was a lovely afternoon.
After we came home, I took my girls on a bike ride through town. Mariyn and I rode 6.5 miles as I pulled Amelia in her trailer. We had a lot of fun exploring different neighborhoods. We even discovered a fun new park . The girls stopped for a while and played. I promised them we would come back. The had a great time. Some where along the ride, Amelia fell asleep in her trailer. When we got home, I noticed she was all curled up in a very deep slumber. So cute!
What a difference a week makes. This week, I am optomistic and full of hope. I really feel and see all that I have been blessed with. God is so good, all the time. :)
Monday, September 27, 2010
9/27
My kid's have been sick. After a long weekend of sleepless nights, I took Amelia to the doctor this morning, the diagnosis, Croupe. The doctor gave us a steriod and she should be better soon. Good news, the prescription she gave us was an office sample, so I don't have to buy anything else! One less thing to worry about! I really feel like life in general is spirling out of control quickly. God's in control I tell myself, and I know he is, yet it's hard to see.
I didn't get to the gym this morning because I took Amelia to the doctor. Really, her health is more important than gym time. With her being sick, I might miss the gym more than I would like. But that's ok. I am going to accomodate where/when I can. Diet will be key this week.
Mini goal this week: Run. It's been a few weeks since I've gotten in any significant running time. I love running, you can do it nearly any time, any place and little money or equipment is needed. It's a huge stress reliever for me and is often when I talk to God the most. I'm planning on running tonight. It just might give me the peace I need.
This weekend is the Princess Promenade ride I promised Mariyn. I still need to pay and register for that. Money is tight, but it's important to Mariyn and I know God will provide.
I didn't get to the gym this morning because I took Amelia to the doctor. Really, her health is more important than gym time. With her being sick, I might miss the gym more than I would like. But that's ok. I am going to accomodate where/when I can. Diet will be key this week.
Mini goal this week: Run. It's been a few weeks since I've gotten in any significant running time. I love running, you can do it nearly any time, any place and little money or equipment is needed. It's a huge stress reliever for me and is often when I talk to God the most. I'm planning on running tonight. It just might give me the peace I need.
This weekend is the Princess Promenade ride I promised Mariyn. I still need to pay and register for that. Money is tight, but it's important to Mariyn and I know God will provide.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Non Physical Goals
I've been thinking more and more about my goals. All of the goals I mentioned for the Hot 100 are physical /weight loss goals. I know that is my usual talk around here but I also have other goals too, that are not directly related to my personal fitness and weight loss.
Along with my Hot 100 goals and weekly weigh in, I am going to make a new small goal or challenge. It could be related to my physical or non physical goals. Just one more way to hold me accountable to the things I want to attain.
I really want to grow my relationship with Christ. Yeah I do a mom's bible study once a month but I don't feel it's enough. I need to learn more and nurish this relationship. I'd also like God to use me to encourage and empower others. I pray that whenever I tell my story people see that God is part of my journey and all the credit and glory should go to him.
In 2008, I finished my master's program. I earned my credential in school counseling but never officially earned my M.A. Why you might ask? I never finished my thesis. I have a lot of reasons I didn't finish - busy life, not a priority, lack of self confidence with my writting skills, and money. There must have been a lot of people out there like me who never really finished so this year, the university is offering a comprehensive exam as a final MA requirement. I have two chances to pass this exam (which is an essay). It's due in November and I haven't started yet. If I can dedicate as much time and effort to my exam as I do my health goals, then I'm sure I can get this done. Officially having my MA would really spruce up my resume and could open more opportunities.
With that said, I also have finanacial goals. I'd like more financial stability in our lives. I'm not working and my husband's job is unpredictable at best. I know God has a plan for us and it's a trial. We are hoping to become more financially independant and hope that opportunities fall into place. Prayers with this area are deeply appreciated.
Exercise today: Body Pump this morning, Zumba this evening.
I haven't done Zumba in a really long time but I went to be supportive of my friend. She an instructor and got to teach a few songs tonight. It was a fun time and I got to see people I haven't seen in a while. When the instructor said to squeeze your abs tonight, I heard a girl in the back say, "Abs, what Abs?, laughing I can't feel my abs!" Immediately it reminded me of myself and how far I've come. After class I made a point to go and talk to her and encourage her. She looked at me as if I was crazy until I told her how much weight I've lost. It's funny because I still see myself as a fat girl. I still weigh a lot. But I'm noticing other people aren't seeing me this way any longer, weird.
Along with my Hot 100 goals and weekly weigh in, I am going to make a new small goal or challenge. It could be related to my physical or non physical goals. Just one more way to hold me accountable to the things I want to attain.
I really want to grow my relationship with Christ. Yeah I do a mom's bible study once a month but I don't feel it's enough. I need to learn more and nurish this relationship. I'd also like God to use me to encourage and empower others. I pray that whenever I tell my story people see that God is part of my journey and all the credit and glory should go to him.
In 2008, I finished my master's program. I earned my credential in school counseling but never officially earned my M.A. Why you might ask? I never finished my thesis. I have a lot of reasons I didn't finish - busy life, not a priority, lack of self confidence with my writting skills, and money. There must have been a lot of people out there like me who never really finished so this year, the university is offering a comprehensive exam as a final MA requirement. I have two chances to pass this exam (which is an essay). It's due in November and I haven't started yet. If I can dedicate as much time and effort to my exam as I do my health goals, then I'm sure I can get this done. Officially having my MA would really spruce up my resume and could open more opportunities.
With that said, I also have finanacial goals. I'd like more financial stability in our lives. I'm not working and my husband's job is unpredictable at best. I know God has a plan for us and it's a trial. We are hoping to become more financially independant and hope that opportunities fall into place. Prayers with this area are deeply appreciated.
Exercise today: Body Pump this morning, Zumba this evening.
I haven't done Zumba in a really long time but I went to be supportive of my friend. She an instructor and got to teach a few songs tonight. It was a fun time and I got to see people I haven't seen in a while. When the instructor said to squeeze your abs tonight, I heard a girl in the back say, "Abs, what Abs?, laughing I can't feel my abs!" Immediately it reminded me of myself and how far I've come. After class I made a point to go and talk to her and encourage her. She looked at me as if I was crazy until I told her how much weight I've lost. It's funny because I still see myself as a fat girl. I still weigh a lot. But I'm noticing other people aren't seeing me this way any longer, weird.
Monday, September 20, 2010
Amazing
Leaving the triathlon, we stopped at Jamba Juice to use the restroom and I got my girls' smoothies. A customer in line noticed the medal and asked me what I did to earn it. Proudly, I told her I just finished a triathlon. She seemed amazed. With training, anyone could do a triathlon. if they desired. I began to tell her my story. She was a heavy woman, 238 lbs she said and in her 40's.
I talked to her for a long time I told her how 11 months ago, I was overweight weighing in at 258lbs. I gained the weight going through college and graduate school with 2 kids and working full time. As mom, I put myself last. I forgot I had interests and hobbies I was so busy I didn't make time to be active. I knew I gained weight but didn't have any idea of how much until I couldn't play catch with my kids and do normal activities without breathing heavy. What changed she asked, simply I said I was tired of being fat. I was tired of not being able to enjoy life and I didn't want to live that way anymore. I told her how I started small, pushing myself on October 5th to go to the gym and how hard it was to do the elliptical for 20 minutes. I told her of my adventures with Zumba and how much I enjoyed dancing. I told her that in January I couldn't run 30 seconds and now I can run 6-8 miles. I told her how my family is living a healthier life. How I'm happier and can handle stress better. I told her of the beautiful rainbow I had seen over the lake that morning just as I wanted to give up. Really though, I told her it wasn't just me that changed --God changed me. He has been a part of my journey since day one even at times when I didn't know he was there. She was amazed with my story and even said she could tell I was an athlete because I looked like one. I think that was one of the best compliments I could receive. She said she was inspired to start working out. I really felt God talking through me when I talked to her today. Most of the time, when I tell people my story, I feel it's focused too much on me and not enough about him. This time, God talked through me, I could feel it. Amazing!
At the triathlon so may women had inspirational stories. I'm sure each and every athlete there had a story. The youngest triathlete was 11 years old and came in 19th place overall. Amazing young lady. She's a tri-kids ambassador and has not only formed her own tri-training team but raised over 250,000 for cancer research. At age 8, she participated in her first triathlon; about a year later she lost her father to cancer. Did I mention she was only 8 years old? Amazing!
The oldest athlete was 68 years old! I don't know her story but I tell you, I really hope that at 68 I am fit enough to participate and complete a triathlon. Did I mention she finished before me? Yeah her official time, 2 hours 9 minutes 45 seconds. Amazing!
When I think of a triathlete, I always thought of someone in top shape physically. Someone young, thin, strong and athletic. At the triathlon there were truly women of all ages, shapes and sizes. They announced some of the athletes accomplishments. One woman, lost 130 lbs, over 4 years. Another lost 50. The thing, I that stood out was the number of older athletes. Only 71 of the athletes were in their 20's which was the age bracket most competitors would be. The age bracket with the largest number of athletes was the 40-44 year old division with 72 athletes! In fact there were 176 athletes over the age of 40. Amazing!
I talked to her for a long time I told her how 11 months ago, I was overweight weighing in at 258lbs. I gained the weight going through college and graduate school with 2 kids and working full time. As mom, I put myself last. I forgot I had interests and hobbies I was so busy I didn't make time to be active. I knew I gained weight but didn't have any idea of how much until I couldn't play catch with my kids and do normal activities without breathing heavy. What changed she asked, simply I said I was tired of being fat. I was tired of not being able to enjoy life and I didn't want to live that way anymore. I told her how I started small, pushing myself on October 5th to go to the gym and how hard it was to do the elliptical for 20 minutes. I told her of my adventures with Zumba and how much I enjoyed dancing. I told her that in January I couldn't run 30 seconds and now I can run 6-8 miles. I told her how my family is living a healthier life. How I'm happier and can handle stress better. I told her of the beautiful rainbow I had seen over the lake that morning just as I wanted to give up. Really though, I told her it wasn't just me that changed --God changed me. He has been a part of my journey since day one even at times when I didn't know he was there. She was amazed with my story and even said she could tell I was an athlete because I looked like one. I think that was one of the best compliments I could receive. She said she was inspired to start working out. I really felt God talking through me when I talked to her today. Most of the time, when I tell people my story, I feel it's focused too much on me and not enough about him. This time, God talked through me, I could feel it. Amazing!
At the triathlon so may women had inspirational stories. I'm sure each and every athlete there had a story. The youngest triathlete was 11 years old and came in 19th place overall. Amazing young lady. She's a tri-kids ambassador and has not only formed her own tri-training team but raised over 250,000 for cancer research. At age 8, she participated in her first triathlon; about a year later she lost her father to cancer. Did I mention she was only 8 years old? Amazing!
The oldest athlete was 68 years old! I don't know her story but I tell you, I really hope that at 68 I am fit enough to participate and complete a triathlon. Did I mention she finished before me? Yeah her official time, 2 hours 9 minutes 45 seconds. Amazing!
When I think of a triathlete, I always thought of someone in top shape physically. Someone young, thin, strong and athletic. At the triathlon there were truly women of all ages, shapes and sizes. They announced some of the athletes accomplishments. One woman, lost 130 lbs, over 4 years. Another lost 50. The thing, I that stood out was the number of older athletes. Only 71 of the athletes were in their 20's which was the age bracket most competitors would be. The age bracket with the largest number of athletes was the 40-44 year old division with 72 athletes! In fact there were 176 athletes over the age of 40. Amazing!
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Iron Girl - Triathlon in Tahoe
** Warning this is going to be a long blog**
If I had one word to describe this weekend it would be awesome. To sum it up things didn't go exactly how I had planned it was a learning experiene but I came, I saw and I "Tri"ed.
Friday I spent the day with my husband. He was planning on going hunting this weekend for opening day. He took the day off of work to spend time with me. I was spoiled, he took me out to breakfast and bought me a new pair of running shoes. I was planning on leaving town around 3 pm, as soon as my girls got out of school. But we left town much later than expected. My mom, my girls and I. We wanted to take my mom's Denali. My older sister, and her two children decided to come along, at the last minute. In order to fit everything in the car, I had to take the front wheel off of my bike. It was easy to remove, no big deal, right? We saw a ton of wild life including deer and a mountain lion on the drive up. Some of which could have easily become road kill but I didn't want to bring a deer home before my husband. We ended up arriving in Tahoe, after 10:30 pm and very, very tired. Originally, I planned on running a bit Friday to get acclimated with the elevation and thinner air. Yeah that didn't happen.
Saturday morning, it's official, I'm 29! I was so excited to be in Tahoe. My only plans were to complete the mandatory athlete check in ( Expo and turn in my bike) and relax on the beach surrounded by the most beautiful scenery. I got up bright and early. I figured it would be best to check in and get my bike turned in as soon as possible. It took me a while to get my bike together. I could get the wheel back on, but the brakes were messing up. At first, I couldn't get the brake line back in the bracet then when I did they would rub the tire. I couldn't ride my bike 15 miles with brakes rubbing the tires. Also the brake line kept falling out the bracet. I have no bike tools and I'm so not mechanically incline. I was really wishing my husband was there. I finally rigged it so it would work - ok. Not perfect but ok. I took my bike to check in around 9:30 am, only to find out that check in starts at 11 am. So we went and got breakfast and drove around a bit.
At 11, I checked my bike in. There was line of athletes. All of them looked so experienced. A lot of them did different triathlon team trainings and wore their team shirts. They all looked young, fit and had top not bikes. I was intimidated! Here I was, with my mountain bike (with mountain bike tires), inexperienced and still overweight. After checking I, my family met me down at the expo. It was really neat and I got a ton of free-bees! The kids had a good time and made posters to cheer me on. As more athletes arrived and I got to talking to them, I knew I wasn't the only inexperienced triathlete. And while my gear wasn't triathlon specific, I started to feel much more comfortable.
We stayed at the expo a lot longer than I expected. It's hard to get in and out of anywhere quick with 4 kids, ages 8,4,3, and 2. I got to listen to the course talk and found out that the transition area is 1/4 mile from the beach and we would have to travel streets to get there. We decided to check out the beach, on our way down I noticed lots of debris including glass. I knew I couldn't do it barefoot, I didn't want to risk injury. Tahoe was truly beautiful, such an amazing landscape carved by God. I bought myself a few things at the expo, including and iron girl hat (as worn in the pictures), a key chain and the belt to put your bib number on. That night we went out for Italian food. Endurance athletes tradition of eating pasta the night before the race! My food really wasn't that good but I forced myself to eat it anyways. I knew the nutrition would be vital come morning.
That night, I got all my gear together in my bucket. Set out my clothes, the girl's clothes and prepared myself to get up early, I knew I would be walking to the event. I wanted to get my transition area ready and I didn't want to forget a thing! Our hotel was just a few short blockes from the venue. It was an older hotel but clean and comfy. Plus it was less than half the price of the venue's hotel and really just as close. Score!
Sunday Race day
I got up bright and early 6am. Got myself ready, ate a banana and a protein bar. I put on coffee for my mom who I knew would be getting up and ready with the kids as soon as I left. I didn't have any pre-race anxiety or jitters. Except, I hadn't been able to pass a bowel movement all weekend. I was bloated. I always get constipated on race weekends! Ugh!! I was uncomfortable to say the least.
It was a cold morning, I think they said 37 degrees. I set up my transition gear, and got myself ready for the swim. I made the 1/4 mile walk down to the beach. So many of the athletes had really nice iron girl wetsuits. I anticipated the swim being the most difficult portion of the race for me, and seeing these girls in really nice professional looking wetsuits was a bit intimidating. The swim was divided into 4 waves, mine being the last. It was a cold morning, and the sand felt like icey rocks. My feet were sore and numb at the same time. At 61 degrees the water was warmer than the air. I knew I was in for a challenge. I decided to start to the outside and lined up in the middle of the crowd. There was a 20 minute cut off time and I was worried. I hit the water with about 100 other women. Immediately I was kicked or hit in the face, arm and legs. My body was taking a beating. I tried to remember my training and focus on swimming efficiently. Not only was I being beaten physically, every time I came up for break a wave would crash in my face and I was literally breathing in water and or drinking it. I felt like I could easily drowned. All the training I had was useless! Nothing could have possibly prepared me for this barbaric swim! I decided to go into survival mode: Do not stop, Do not drowned! Survive, get through it, even if it means doggy paddle! Gasping for air, I decided to do back stroke. Yeah I couldn't see but at least I could protect myself and get some air. I'm so glad I practiced the back stroke in my pool -- A lot! Soon, I was nearing the shore. I got out of the water and hussled the 1/4 mile back to transition.
In transition. I grabbed my nutrition, got my shoes and bike. I was almost out of the transition area when I was reminded to put on my helmet. Opps! Almost forgot! I was still gasping for air. My chest was tight but I was excited to be off on the bike course. It was 15 miles of climbing but the scenery was breath taking. I figured I'd be able to catch my breath on the ride, boy was I wrong. Women were zooming past me on their nice road and triathlon bikes. My bike was nice, or so I thought but at the end of the day it's a mountain bike. The tires are not made for speed. I set a good pace for the ride. Climbing the hills was tough, the elevation in Tahoe is roughly 6300 feet. The air is thin but the views were specular. The climbs were killer. There were many points of the ride that my legs ached and I didn't want to keep going but the trill of competition kicked in. Almost every climb, I was passing women proving my athleticism. I could hear my spin instructor Dana telling me, "this is where the change happens, keep going, keep going." I would mimic my movements to those that I knew were effective in spin, bracing my abs, pushing through with my whole body. But on the downside of the hill, I was being passed. Not because the women's were working harder than I was or were stronger athletes than me but because their bikes were more aerodynamic and made for speed. My breathing was horrible, I was wheezing and out of breath the whole ride -- elevation I assume. My stomach was killing me and it had gone beyond cramping, my colon felt like it could erupt. I was still constipated, full of gas and in pain. Out of breath and falling further behind I was discouraged.
I was nearing half way, cave rock, where we turn aroud come back. At the turn, I had the most beautiful view of Tahoe, the largest alpine lake in the US, surrounded by beautiful pines and blue skies. Taking in the view, I notice off in the distance a small but bright rainbow. Immediately, recharged I said, "Thank you, God." At that moment, I remembered my daughter Mariyn and as she says, "God's promise". I was moved,spiritually by how awesome our God is. How he not only encourages me even in my weakest moments but is there with me. The ride back was hard but I knew God promised me that I could do it. I gained momentum and was again, gaining position. Up and down the hills, my legs pedaled fast, the pedaled hard. I couldn't wait to get back and tell my Mariyn what I had seen. Physically I was prepared well to do all the climbs. Exhausted and still short of breath, I started to climb the steepest hill on the return route. Women in front of me were faltering. I was too out of breath to pick up the pace and go around them. They looked as if they were losing control over their bikes and struggling to make it up the hill. I pedaled in front of as many as I could but at 3/4 of the way up the hill decided to dismount and walk, get a drink and attempt to catch my breath. It just seemed safer. At the top of the hill, I got back on my bike and made the last leg of the ride. Athletes were already finishing up the last leg of their run!
Back in transition, I racked my bike, took a bite of the protein bar and took off on the run. Near the run out gate, my family was standing there cheering me on. I gave them a high 5 and I took off.
I needed to go to the porta potty (consitpated no longer) but couldn't easily access it. I knew the run was going by the beach and there were toilets there too. Out of breath and in severe pain with stomach cramps, I stopped and used the porta potty. I knew running was my strongest point but I still was out of breath. In fact, I never caught my breath the entire race. My chest was very very wheezey. Most of the 5K run was up hill. Any day, I could have ran this 3.1 miles effectively but not today. My lungs were hurting and I decided it was time to walk/jog. Mind over matter I told myself and thought of Dave and Adrienne. I knew I would get through, I knew I could finish. Wheezing and winded I wished I had remembered to bring my inhaler. It was at home, as my asthma rarely acts up, I'm not used to bringing it. The last leg of the run was a steep down hill grade. Yeah I could run quickly but you have to be careful. I didn't want a knee or joint injury. My quads were burning. I thought of Zamara, my running partner and how we would pace ourselves. I was happy, I knew I was near the end. Once th road was flat I picked someone in front of me and decided to ignore my breathing (mind of matter) and catch up. With in the last hundered feet or so, I passed 2 women and crossed the finish line!
That was it, I not only survivied. I "TRI"ed. I'm now an iron girl triathlete! 2 hours 20 minutes and 12 seconds after getting in the cold waters of Lake Tahoe, I swam 400 meters, bikes 24 K, ran 5K and crossed the finish line.
Words can not describe how accomplished I feel. My biggest fans, my girls, my reasons for "Tri"ing greeted me at the finish line. Yeah, I know in the world of triathlons I could have done a lot better but I stated with a goal, and I finished. Athletically I'm a tough competitor but it was a learning experience and I know exactly where I have room for improvement. Nearly 500 women registered for the event, 374 women officially finished. I came in at 336 overall with plenty of room for improvement. I'm ready to "Tri" again and to encourage others to do so.
Over an hour after finishing my race, I caught my breath. I coughed a lot on the way home, lots of wheezing and phlegm. I used the inhaler as soon as I got back home and am now ready for a good night sleep.
If I had one word to describe this weekend it would be awesome. To sum it up things didn't go exactly how I had planned it was a learning experiene but I came, I saw and I "Tri"ed.
Friday I spent the day with my husband. He was planning on going hunting this weekend for opening day. He took the day off of work to spend time with me. I was spoiled, he took me out to breakfast and bought me a new pair of running shoes. I was planning on leaving town around 3 pm, as soon as my girls got out of school. But we left town much later than expected. My mom, my girls and I. We wanted to take my mom's Denali. My older sister, and her two children decided to come along, at the last minute. In order to fit everything in the car, I had to take the front wheel off of my bike. It was easy to remove, no big deal, right? We saw a ton of wild life including deer and a mountain lion on the drive up. Some of which could have easily become road kill but I didn't want to bring a deer home before my husband. We ended up arriving in Tahoe, after 10:30 pm and very, very tired. Originally, I planned on running a bit Friday to get acclimated with the elevation and thinner air. Yeah that didn't happen.
Saturday morning, it's official, I'm 29! I was so excited to be in Tahoe. My only plans were to complete the mandatory athlete check in ( Expo and turn in my bike) and relax on the beach surrounded by the most beautiful scenery. I got up bright and early. I figured it would be best to check in and get my bike turned in as soon as possible. It took me a while to get my bike together. I could get the wheel back on, but the brakes were messing up. At first, I couldn't get the brake line back in the bracet then when I did they would rub the tire. I couldn't ride my bike 15 miles with brakes rubbing the tires. Also the brake line kept falling out the bracet. I have no bike tools and I'm so not mechanically incline. I was really wishing my husband was there. I finally rigged it so it would work - ok. Not perfect but ok. I took my bike to check in around 9:30 am, only to find out that check in starts at 11 am. So we went and got breakfast and drove around a bit.
At 11, I checked my bike in. There was line of athletes. All of them looked so experienced. A lot of them did different triathlon team trainings and wore their team shirts. They all looked young, fit and had top not bikes. I was intimidated! Here I was, with my mountain bike (with mountain bike tires), inexperienced and still overweight. After checking I, my family met me down at the expo. It was really neat and I got a ton of free-bees! The kids had a good time and made posters to cheer me on. As more athletes arrived and I got to talking to them, I knew I wasn't the only inexperienced triathlete. And while my gear wasn't triathlon specific, I started to feel much more comfortable.
We stayed at the expo a lot longer than I expected. It's hard to get in and out of anywhere quick with 4 kids, ages 8,4,3, and 2. I got to listen to the course talk and found out that the transition area is 1/4 mile from the beach and we would have to travel streets to get there. We decided to check out the beach, on our way down I noticed lots of debris including glass. I knew I couldn't do it barefoot, I didn't want to risk injury. Tahoe was truly beautiful, such an amazing landscape carved by God. I bought myself a few things at the expo, including and iron girl hat (as worn in the pictures), a key chain and the belt to put your bib number on. That night we went out for Italian food. Endurance athletes tradition of eating pasta the night before the race! My food really wasn't that good but I forced myself to eat it anyways. I knew the nutrition would be vital come morning.
That night, I got all my gear together in my bucket. Set out my clothes, the girl's clothes and prepared myself to get up early, I knew I would be walking to the event. I wanted to get my transition area ready and I didn't want to forget a thing! Our hotel was just a few short blockes from the venue. It was an older hotel but clean and comfy. Plus it was less than half the price of the venue's hotel and really just as close. Score!
Sunday Race day
I got up bright and early 6am. Got myself ready, ate a banana and a protein bar. I put on coffee for my mom who I knew would be getting up and ready with the kids as soon as I left. I didn't have any pre-race anxiety or jitters. Except, I hadn't been able to pass a bowel movement all weekend. I was bloated. I always get constipated on race weekends! Ugh!! I was uncomfortable to say the least.
It was a cold morning, I think they said 37 degrees. I set up my transition gear, and got myself ready for the swim. I made the 1/4 mile walk down to the beach. So many of the athletes had really nice iron girl wetsuits. I anticipated the swim being the most difficult portion of the race for me, and seeing these girls in really nice professional looking wetsuits was a bit intimidating. The swim was divided into 4 waves, mine being the last. It was a cold morning, and the sand felt like icey rocks. My feet were sore and numb at the same time. At 61 degrees the water was warmer than the air. I knew I was in for a challenge. I decided to start to the outside and lined up in the middle of the crowd. There was a 20 minute cut off time and I was worried. I hit the water with about 100 other women. Immediately I was kicked or hit in the face, arm and legs. My body was taking a beating. I tried to remember my training and focus on swimming efficiently. Not only was I being beaten physically, every time I came up for break a wave would crash in my face and I was literally breathing in water and or drinking it. I felt like I could easily drowned. All the training I had was useless! Nothing could have possibly prepared me for this barbaric swim! I decided to go into survival mode: Do not stop, Do not drowned! Survive, get through it, even if it means doggy paddle! Gasping for air, I decided to do back stroke. Yeah I couldn't see but at least I could protect myself and get some air. I'm so glad I practiced the back stroke in my pool -- A lot! Soon, I was nearing the shore. I got out of the water and hussled the 1/4 mile back to transition.
In transition. I grabbed my nutrition, got my shoes and bike. I was almost out of the transition area when I was reminded to put on my helmet. Opps! Almost forgot! I was still gasping for air. My chest was tight but I was excited to be off on the bike course. It was 15 miles of climbing but the scenery was breath taking. I figured I'd be able to catch my breath on the ride, boy was I wrong. Women were zooming past me on their nice road and triathlon bikes. My bike was nice, or so I thought but at the end of the day it's a mountain bike. The tires are not made for speed. I set a good pace for the ride. Climbing the hills was tough, the elevation in Tahoe is roughly 6300 feet. The air is thin but the views were specular. The climbs were killer. There were many points of the ride that my legs ached and I didn't want to keep going but the trill of competition kicked in. Almost every climb, I was passing women proving my athleticism. I could hear my spin instructor Dana telling me, "this is where the change happens, keep going, keep going." I would mimic my movements to those that I knew were effective in spin, bracing my abs, pushing through with my whole body. But on the downside of the hill, I was being passed. Not because the women's were working harder than I was or were stronger athletes than me but because their bikes were more aerodynamic and made for speed. My breathing was horrible, I was wheezing and out of breath the whole ride -- elevation I assume. My stomach was killing me and it had gone beyond cramping, my colon felt like it could erupt. I was still constipated, full of gas and in pain. Out of breath and falling further behind I was discouraged.
I was nearing half way, cave rock, where we turn aroud come back. At the turn, I had the most beautiful view of Tahoe, the largest alpine lake in the US, surrounded by beautiful pines and blue skies. Taking in the view, I notice off in the distance a small but bright rainbow. Immediately, recharged I said, "Thank you, God." At that moment, I remembered my daughter Mariyn and as she says, "God's promise". I was moved,spiritually by how awesome our God is. How he not only encourages me even in my weakest moments but is there with me. The ride back was hard but I knew God promised me that I could do it. I gained momentum and was again, gaining position. Up and down the hills, my legs pedaled fast, the pedaled hard. I couldn't wait to get back and tell my Mariyn what I had seen. Physically I was prepared well to do all the climbs. Exhausted and still short of breath, I started to climb the steepest hill on the return route. Women in front of me were faltering. I was too out of breath to pick up the pace and go around them. They looked as if they were losing control over their bikes and struggling to make it up the hill. I pedaled in front of as many as I could but at 3/4 of the way up the hill decided to dismount and walk, get a drink and attempt to catch my breath. It just seemed safer. At the top of the hill, I got back on my bike and made the last leg of the ride. Athletes were already finishing up the last leg of their run!
Back in transition, I racked my bike, took a bite of the protein bar and took off on the run. Near the run out gate, my family was standing there cheering me on. I gave them a high 5 and I took off.
I needed to go to the porta potty (consitpated no longer) but couldn't easily access it. I knew the run was going by the beach and there were toilets there too. Out of breath and in severe pain with stomach cramps, I stopped and used the porta potty. I knew running was my strongest point but I still was out of breath. In fact, I never caught my breath the entire race. My chest was very very wheezey. Most of the 5K run was up hill. Any day, I could have ran this 3.1 miles effectively but not today. My lungs were hurting and I decided it was time to walk/jog. Mind over matter I told myself and thought of Dave and Adrienne. I knew I would get through, I knew I could finish. Wheezing and winded I wished I had remembered to bring my inhaler. It was at home, as my asthma rarely acts up, I'm not used to bringing it. The last leg of the run was a steep down hill grade. Yeah I could run quickly but you have to be careful. I didn't want a knee or joint injury. My quads were burning. I thought of Zamara, my running partner and how we would pace ourselves. I was happy, I knew I was near the end. Once th road was flat I picked someone in front of me and decided to ignore my breathing (mind of matter) and catch up. With in the last hundered feet or so, I passed 2 women and crossed the finish line!
That was it, I not only survivied. I "TRI"ed. I'm now an iron girl triathlete! 2 hours 20 minutes and 12 seconds after getting in the cold waters of Lake Tahoe, I swam 400 meters, bikes 24 K, ran 5K and crossed the finish line.
Words can not describe how accomplished I feel. My biggest fans, my girls, my reasons for "Tri"ing greeted me at the finish line. Yeah, I know in the world of triathlons I could have done a lot better but I stated with a goal, and I finished. Athletically I'm a tough competitor but it was a learning experience and I know exactly where I have room for improvement. Nearly 500 women registered for the event, 374 women officially finished. I came in at 336 overall with plenty of room for improvement. I'm ready to "Tri" again and to encourage others to do so.
Over an hour after finishing my race, I caught my breath. I coughed a lot on the way home, lots of wheezing and phlegm. I used the inhaler as soon as I got back home and am now ready for a good night sleep.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
9/14 - Supportive
Bible study was great this morning. I'm so glad I went - lots of new faces and just a great message about patience and being a supportive mother/wife. Sometimes messages just speak to you -and this one confirmed a lot of feelings I've been having lately with Rich. It's no secret that I've been frustrated with his work. I've bickered with him so much about it the last year. At times, I wish I was working so he didn't have to. Richard has always been so supportive of me, my education, career and wants. I'm not sure he feels the same about me.
I know the God gave me this time off of work to re-focus on my life, my priorities: my family, faith and myself. One of the things God is teaching me is my role. My role is to be supportive of my husband and my family. He has needed me so much this last year with everything he has been through with family issues and even his employment. My girls have needed me now more than ever too. I stay busy every day, even though I don't have a "job". It's amazing to think of how I used to juggle everything I do know plus my work. God's grace must have been the only way I made it through. Great message at bible study, great reconnecting and fellowship.
I was reading someone's blog the other day. She was so eloquent in speaking from her heart and sharing her testimony and God's word through her blog and her weight loss journey. Really it's a gift. I pray that when I speak about my journey and my weigh loss that people really see the glory in it to God. I know that sometimes, I'm quick to talk about myself, what I'm doing, what I'm going through but really I know I'm only successful because God has given me the strength. I really only want to glorify him, not me. More like Christ, slow to slow to speak, slow to anger, quick to listen. Something I know I need to work on. Giving him even more of me.
I'm so glad I went to bible study, even though I re-arranged my training schedule. I missed my morning weigh in too. I'm pretty sure I maintained but I noticed my shoulders are looking a lot smaller. I ate heavier in preparation for the triathlon this Sunday. A family emergency has come up and my mom had to go out of town (that's all I'm allowed to say online). Meaning, she might not make it back in time to go to Tahoe with me and watch my girls and I may not be able to participate. I'm not angry with her. I would have gone too but I can't say I'm not disappointed, even if that means I am a little selfish. I pray the situation is taken care of quickly and everything works out. I've worked really hard training for the triathlon and have already put out a lot of money. But like I said, if I was in her shoes, I would have made the same choice. At this point, I'm trying to stay positive that everything will work out and I will get to compete on Sunday. :)
I know the God gave me this time off of work to re-focus on my life, my priorities: my family, faith and myself. One of the things God is teaching me is my role. My role is to be supportive of my husband and my family. He has needed me so much this last year with everything he has been through with family issues and even his employment. My girls have needed me now more than ever too. I stay busy every day, even though I don't have a "job". It's amazing to think of how I used to juggle everything I do know plus my work. God's grace must have been the only way I made it through. Great message at bible study, great reconnecting and fellowship.
I was reading someone's blog the other day. She was so eloquent in speaking from her heart and sharing her testimony and God's word through her blog and her weight loss journey. Really it's a gift. I pray that when I speak about my journey and my weigh loss that people really see the glory in it to God. I know that sometimes, I'm quick to talk about myself, what I'm doing, what I'm going through but really I know I'm only successful because God has given me the strength. I really only want to glorify him, not me. More like Christ, slow to slow to speak, slow to anger, quick to listen. Something I know I need to work on. Giving him even more of me.
I'm so glad I went to bible study, even though I re-arranged my training schedule. I missed my morning weigh in too. I'm pretty sure I maintained but I noticed my shoulders are looking a lot smaller. I ate heavier in preparation for the triathlon this Sunday. A family emergency has come up and my mom had to go out of town (that's all I'm allowed to say online). Meaning, she might not make it back in time to go to Tahoe with me and watch my girls and I may not be able to participate. I'm not angry with her. I would have gone too but I can't say I'm not disappointed, even if that means I am a little selfish. I pray the situation is taken care of quickly and everything works out. I've worked really hard training for the triathlon and have already put out a lot of money. But like I said, if I was in her shoes, I would have made the same choice. At this point, I'm trying to stay positive that everything will work out and I will get to compete on Sunday. :)
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Faith through People
I had a great day yesterday, very busy but very blessed. I know I don't usually blog on the weekends but I really wanted to get this down, now while it's all still fresh in my head and in my heart.
A lot of my family is still in town from my aunt's service and were supposed to be meeting up at the park. My girls played all day with their cousins and distant cousins. Everyone brought food, friend chicken, pizza and deserts of course. I ate before I got there so that wouldn't be a problem for me. Although I did indulge after several hours and had a few cookies. I guess it was an afternoon snack. I'm not that worried about it. I got to visit with a lot of my cousins and had some really good conversations.
One conversation in particular is the reason I *had* to blog. Jessica, one of my cousins, lost a lot of weight several years ago. She is extraordinarily beautiful and intimidatingly gorgeous, even at age 44. And I've heard from other's (in-laws not related to her) how beautiful she was as a young adult. She lives in far away and I rarely get to see her, she is also the mother of 7 beautiful children and is always busy. I keep in touch with her via facebook but I know her children use and update her page more than she does. So I've been dieing to pick her brain and here all about her weight loss journey and what she thinks about it now years after being able to maintain. But I didn't want to send those type of questions to her over a message on facebook. So, I've just kept them to myself.
Yesterday, we got to talking and she really opened up to me about her testimony and her journey. She really is a sweet and amazing woman. Not to mention, gorgeous, absolutely gorgeous. She had lost over 100 lbs from her starting weight of around 250 lbs. She's gained some back because she felt that at a size 4 she was too skinny and is finally now happy with her size. We got to talking about life, trials and tribulations and how we've dealt with them in the past. She said for that for her, the secret to weight loss was just as much physical as it was emotional. The whole mind, body,spirit thing and that God was the driving force in why she was successful at losing her weight. She was able to verbalize so many of the same things that I've felt with my faith but couldn't put into words. It's amazing how God is constantly working through people to talk to you. It is amazing to hear and see how she has grown with Christ into an even more beautiful woman and Christian. It was oh so inspiring.
I know I heard EXACTLY what I've been needing to hear. My heart while it's in the right place needs to grow stronger with my faith. I need to pray more, believe more and most of all give God more of me.
A few verses to think about:
(II Timothy 1:7) 7 For God didn’t give us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and self-control.
(II Corinthians 12:9-10) 9 He has said to me, "“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”" Most gladly therefore I will rather glory in my weaknesses, that the power of Christ may rest on me. 10 Therefore I take pleasure in weaknesses, in injuries, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then am I strong.
(I Corinthians 10:13) 13 No temptation has taken you except what is common to man. God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted above what you are able, but will with the temptation also make the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.
Through my cousins, and other means, God has been saying, "Come to me. Give me your worries, your fears, and your triggers. I will make you strong, I will give you self control. Give me more of you, and I will then give you more of me." I know my own testimony is building and my faith is growing. I'm excited, and I can finally hear God talking to me and working within me.
A lot of my family is still in town from my aunt's service and were supposed to be meeting up at the park. My girls played all day with their cousins and distant cousins. Everyone brought food, friend chicken, pizza and deserts of course. I ate before I got there so that wouldn't be a problem for me. Although I did indulge after several hours and had a few cookies. I guess it was an afternoon snack. I'm not that worried about it. I got to visit with a lot of my cousins and had some really good conversations.
One conversation in particular is the reason I *had* to blog. Jessica, one of my cousins, lost a lot of weight several years ago. She is extraordinarily beautiful and intimidatingly gorgeous, even at age 44. And I've heard from other's (in-laws not related to her) how beautiful she was as a young adult. She lives in far away and I rarely get to see her, she is also the mother of 7 beautiful children and is always busy. I keep in touch with her via facebook but I know her children use and update her page more than she does. So I've been dieing to pick her brain and here all about her weight loss journey and what she thinks about it now years after being able to maintain. But I didn't want to send those type of questions to her over a message on facebook. So, I've just kept them to myself.
Yesterday, we got to talking and she really opened up to me about her testimony and her journey. She really is a sweet and amazing woman. Not to mention, gorgeous, absolutely gorgeous. She had lost over 100 lbs from her starting weight of around 250 lbs. She's gained some back because she felt that at a size 4 she was too skinny and is finally now happy with her size. We got to talking about life, trials and tribulations and how we've dealt with them in the past. She said for that for her, the secret to weight loss was just as much physical as it was emotional. The whole mind, body,spirit thing and that God was the driving force in why she was successful at losing her weight. She was able to verbalize so many of the same things that I've felt with my faith but couldn't put into words. It's amazing how God is constantly working through people to talk to you. It is amazing to hear and see how she has grown with Christ into an even more beautiful woman and Christian. It was oh so inspiring.
I know I heard EXACTLY what I've been needing to hear. My heart while it's in the right place needs to grow stronger with my faith. I need to pray more, believe more and most of all give God more of me.
A few verses to think about:
(II Timothy 1:7) 7 For God didn’t give us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and self-control.
(II Corinthians 12:9-10) 9 He has said to me, "“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”" Most gladly therefore I will rather glory in my weaknesses, that the power of Christ may rest on me. 10 Therefore I take pleasure in weaknesses, in injuries, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then am I strong.
(I Corinthians 10:13) 13 No temptation has taken you except what is common to man. God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted above what you are able, but will with the temptation also make the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.
Through my cousins, and other means, God has been saying, "Come to me. Give me your worries, your fears, and your triggers. I will make you strong, I will give you self control. Give me more of you, and I will then give you more of me." I know my own testimony is building and my faith is growing. I'm excited, and I can finally hear God talking to me and working within me.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
8-26
I went to my aunt's memorial service today. It was so beautiful and cheerful truly a celebration of her life. My great aunt was a very special lady whom had a lot of grace and made everyone feel special and accepted. She was a woman of faith with a strong love for Christ. Her service really showed the love and Grace of God. There were even a few words said, that made me think about my own faith and how I can grow stronger. The pastor said, anyone can talk to God, lots of people talk to God, but how many people are really listening to God. I really want to be a good listener and I realize that I need to spend more time with God, listening to him and seeking him. I spend so much time talking, occupying my time, staying busy when in reality I need to listen more and share more of me with him.
My aunt was from a big family, had a big family, who also had big families... so yeah, there was lots of family and with lots of family comes lots of food. I was so worried about this. I didn't have time to go to the gym today and to be honest, I think my body needs a break so I chose not to run tonight. I knew I needed to be cautious with my eating because it's so easy to be tempted and be thrown off track. There was so much food: Pasta Salad, Spaggheti salad, potatoe salad, fruit salad, green salad, aram sandwiches, lunch meat, rolls, vegatble trays, tri tip, baked beans and yeah more than 2 tables filled with scrumptious tantalizing baked goods and deserts. So incredible, so tempting. I made my daughters plates then decided to make my own. Cautiously, I got fruit salad, green salad, baked beans, tri tip, and the smallest moresal of a brownie I could find. I ate my food and did not go near the desert table. Although I have to admit the cupcakes looked incredible and were calling my name. I was so proud of myself.
So many family members commented on how good I looked. I wore the red dress I blogged about a few days ago. It's not really funural attire but I knew it fit and not much else does. My uncle John even complimented me, he said I looked beautiful and asked about my routine. I've never been complimented that I can remember from my uncle, not for earning my degrees, not for my looks, nothing. If anything, the only conversations I recall with him include me leaving feeling worse about myself because of some commment or another he made and hurt my feelings. It felt so good today though. I can't even begin to tell you how many compliments I received from family.
This evening my girls and I went to the farmers market. It's the last one of the year. I'm going to miss going with my girls. We got lots of fruit and goodies. A few weeks ago, I bought my girls honey sticks and I ended up using Amelia's in my oatmeal it was so good I wanted to come back and get a jar. So tonight, I made sure I got some and I'm looking forward to making Oatmeal with it again. Incredible. I just love everything about the farmers markets, the food, the atmosphere and healthy lifestyle. If you have one in your area, I highly recommend checking it out.
My aunt was from a big family, had a big family, who also had big families... so yeah, there was lots of family and with lots of family comes lots of food. I was so worried about this. I didn't have time to go to the gym today and to be honest, I think my body needs a break so I chose not to run tonight. I knew I needed to be cautious with my eating because it's so easy to be tempted and be thrown off track. There was so much food: Pasta Salad, Spaggheti salad, potatoe salad, fruit salad, green salad, aram sandwiches, lunch meat, rolls, vegatble trays, tri tip, baked beans and yeah more than 2 tables filled with scrumptious tantalizing baked goods and deserts. So incredible, so tempting. I made my daughters plates then decided to make my own. Cautiously, I got fruit salad, green salad, baked beans, tri tip, and the smallest moresal of a brownie I could find. I ate my food and did not go near the desert table. Although I have to admit the cupcakes looked incredible and were calling my name. I was so proud of myself.
So many family members commented on how good I looked. I wore the red dress I blogged about a few days ago. It's not really funural attire but I knew it fit and not much else does. My uncle John even complimented me, he said I looked beautiful and asked about my routine. I've never been complimented that I can remember from my uncle, not for earning my degrees, not for my looks, nothing. If anything, the only conversations I recall with him include me leaving feeling worse about myself because of some commment or another he made and hurt my feelings. It felt so good today though. I can't even begin to tell you how many compliments I received from family.
This evening my girls and I went to the farmers market. It's the last one of the year. I'm going to miss going with my girls. We got lots of fruit and goodies. A few weeks ago, I bought my girls honey sticks and I ended up using Amelia's in my oatmeal it was so good I wanted to come back and get a jar. So tonight, I made sure I got some and I'm looking forward to making Oatmeal with it again. Incredible. I just love everything about the farmers markets, the food, the atmosphere and healthy lifestyle. If you have one in your area, I highly recommend checking it out.
Monday, August 16, 2010
Everything...
Hmmm... where to start? So many thoughts and experiences running through my head that I haven't shared.
The only day I was active last week was Weds. not good but it was a week of transition. I didn't even weigh in last week. My mother in law was here for the weekend, I hadn't seen her in about 8 months so she was really surprissed by the amount of weight I lost. Feels good to be noticed even though I haven't lost much in months.
Both my girls are in school now, Amelia officially started preschool on Friday. She really enjoyed it. Friday the teacher reported back that Amelia did not listen. Such an independant and stuborn spirit. We had a few talks over the weekend and I told her she has to listen to teacher or she can't go to school. She had a much better day today.
I'm now all registered to substitute teach and am available to start any time. Hopefully something picks up on that end soon. I'm wanting to sub on the days the girls are at school, the house is WAY too quiet with out them and we could really use the extra money.
My mother in law flew in for the weekend. I took her back to the airport today. On my way home, I picked up some fruit from fruitstands. Yumm... Heirloom tomatoes, santa rosa plums, pluots, and honeydew melon. Have I ever mentioned how much I love summmer?
I went to the gym in the middle of the day while the girls were at school. The cardio kickboxing class I normally take on Monday nights is no longer going to be taught by the same instructor. I don't really care for the new instructors style so I'm going to do something else on Mondays instead. Today, I decided to run. I probably ran 3 miles or so on the tready. I put my i-pod in and just went to town. But I have to admit, I stopped 3 times after just 5 minutes of running. The first time, I accidently hit the reset button when I was running. I was trying to hook my i-pod up to the machine and run at the same time, not goood. So I restarted. Then, someone spotted me and wanted to talk. I hit pause talked a bit then restarted. I got going into a groove, and my stomach started hurting. I knew I had to stop, I had to go to the bathroom. So I had to stop --again! Ughh.
I ended up running for about 40 minutes. I was listening to my i-pod thinking about my routine. My weightloss and getting back on track. Then this song came on -"Everything" --Lifehouse, Sherri recommended it to me a while back.
It really had me thinking. I know I am a strong and determined person but with God I am stronger. I've been sort of going through the motions of life lately, waiting for things to happen. Waiting to be blessed and living life. But I haven't been as vocal about my faith as I could, as I should. I have been praying but it's always only the same generic prayer nothing specific. I need to give God more, I need to share more frequently. It's been about a month since I've even blogged about my faith... too long. Like my diet and exercise routine needs to refocus so does my faith. My heart is in the right spot. God has so abundently provided for us, for me. He has given so much, strength, stability and support. And here I tend to focus on the negatives in life or the lack of(s) instead of rejoucing in all that I have. Yet, his love is still there and all my needs are truly met. God is so great!
My plan, get right with God. Get back into the routine of eating better and exercises.
The only day I was active last week was Weds. not good but it was a week of transition. I didn't even weigh in last week. My mother in law was here for the weekend, I hadn't seen her in about 8 months so she was really surprissed by the amount of weight I lost. Feels good to be noticed even though I haven't lost much in months.
Both my girls are in school now, Amelia officially started preschool on Friday. She really enjoyed it. Friday the teacher reported back that Amelia did not listen. Such an independant and stuborn spirit. We had a few talks over the weekend and I told her she has to listen to teacher or she can't go to school. She had a much better day today.
I'm now all registered to substitute teach and am available to start any time. Hopefully something picks up on that end soon. I'm wanting to sub on the days the girls are at school, the house is WAY too quiet with out them and we could really use the extra money.
My mother in law flew in for the weekend. I took her back to the airport today. On my way home, I picked up some fruit from fruitstands. Yumm... Heirloom tomatoes, santa rosa plums, pluots, and honeydew melon. Have I ever mentioned how much I love summmer?
I went to the gym in the middle of the day while the girls were at school. The cardio kickboxing class I normally take on Monday nights is no longer going to be taught by the same instructor. I don't really care for the new instructors style so I'm going to do something else on Mondays instead. Today, I decided to run. I probably ran 3 miles or so on the tready. I put my i-pod in and just went to town. But I have to admit, I stopped 3 times after just 5 minutes of running. The first time, I accidently hit the reset button when I was running. I was trying to hook my i-pod up to the machine and run at the same time, not goood. So I restarted. Then, someone spotted me and wanted to talk. I hit pause talked a bit then restarted. I got going into a groove, and my stomach started hurting. I knew I had to stop, I had to go to the bathroom. So I had to stop --again! Ughh.
I ended up running for about 40 minutes. I was listening to my i-pod thinking about my routine. My weightloss and getting back on track. Then this song came on -"Everything" --Lifehouse, Sherri recommended it to me a while back.
It really had me thinking. I know I am a strong and determined person but with God I am stronger. I've been sort of going through the motions of life lately, waiting for things to happen. Waiting to be blessed and living life. But I haven't been as vocal about my faith as I could, as I should. I have been praying but it's always only the same generic prayer nothing specific. I need to give God more, I need to share more frequently. It's been about a month since I've even blogged about my faith... too long. Like my diet and exercise routine needs to refocus so does my faith. My heart is in the right spot. God has so abundently provided for us, for me. He has given so much, strength, stability and support. And here I tend to focus on the negatives in life or the lack of(s) instead of rejoucing in all that I have. Yet, his love is still there and all my needs are truly met. God is so great!
My plan, get right with God. Get back into the routine of eating better and exercises.
Monday, July 19, 2010
Today was a good day
Today was a good day ::imagain Ice Cube::: lol. It was a really good day though - very busy. I got up early, Mariyn started vacation bible school today. She seemed to really like it and I'm glad. It's not our church because I haven't been committeed enough to go to church regularly but it is the church we tend to do activities with and consider our church. I really need to start going back to church, I feel like my life goes so much better when I'm attending church, learning and living God's word.
I had to drop Mariyn off and register her at 7:30 am. Yeah very early for us!
After Mariyn was off to VBS, I needed to go take care of Richard's ticket by 8am. Took care of it - got a postponement. I wanted to pay the fine and get traffic school for him but he has to actually do that himself and go before the judge. Not something I could do for him.
I also hit up Costco,Walmart and a regular grocery store. We needed food and household stuff. I ended up spending a lot of money but like I said, it was needed. One reason, I ate out so much last week as because we NEEDED food. I got lots of good FRESH foods: fruits, vegtables, chicken and bison. I told Rich there would be no eating out this week, I'm going to cook.
Tonight, I made a rottisserie chicken salad for dinner. I had California Rolls for lunch, yogurt w/ blueberries for snack, and honey bunches of oats w. light soy milk for breakfast. So, I'm thinking I did pretty well - today.
I got in my fair share of exercise in tonight. Cardio kickboxing was good. Then I came home made dinner. After dinner, I went for a run with my gym friend Zumara. We ran 3 miles, we're both looking forward to our next 5K on Sat night. I almost talked myself out of running tonight because I was so tired from running around but my competitive drive kicked in. I want to lose my 20lbs before Richard. He called me today just to taunt me, saying he already lost a pound. Ughh! Men - it's so easy for them. Of course, I weighed myself after that too and the scale was down for me too. Who knows though, his scale is so inconsistant. I am looking forward to weigh in tomorrow. Hopefully it's a good one :)
I had to drop Mariyn off and register her at 7:30 am. Yeah very early for us!
After Mariyn was off to VBS, I needed to go take care of Richard's ticket by 8am. Took care of it - got a postponement. I wanted to pay the fine and get traffic school for him but he has to actually do that himself and go before the judge. Not something I could do for him.
I also hit up Costco,Walmart and a regular grocery store. We needed food and household stuff. I ended up spending a lot of money but like I said, it was needed. One reason, I ate out so much last week as because we NEEDED food. I got lots of good FRESH foods: fruits, vegtables, chicken and bison. I told Rich there would be no eating out this week, I'm going to cook.
Tonight, I made a rottisserie chicken salad for dinner. I had California Rolls for lunch, yogurt w/ blueberries for snack, and honey bunches of oats w. light soy milk for breakfast. So, I'm thinking I did pretty well - today.
I got in my fair share of exercise in tonight. Cardio kickboxing was good. Then I came home made dinner. After dinner, I went for a run with my gym friend Zumara. We ran 3 miles, we're both looking forward to our next 5K on Sat night. I almost talked myself out of running tonight because I was so tired from running around but my competitive drive kicked in. I want to lose my 20lbs before Richard. He called me today just to taunt me, saying he already lost a pound. Ughh! Men - it's so easy for them. Of course, I weighed myself after that too and the scale was down for me too. Who knows though, his scale is so inconsistant. I am looking forward to weigh in tomorrow. Hopefully it's a good one :)
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Emo
Yeah - I was very emotional all day. I just sort of needed to be left alone to deal with my thoughts and emotions. I took a lot of them out on food... -ugh! Just when I thought I was doing better with my emotional eating. Old habits kick in again.
We had taco bell for dinner. Yeah I know, I know ::hangs head::: I'm cooking tomorrow night, I swear. Good news, I made it to the gym tonight. I did Zumba, it's a fun sort of pick me up kind of class. I figured it would get my exercise in and hopefully my mood will improve too. I believe in my heart that even though I'm down and out, God is really good. Things could be worse, a whole lot worse and I am truly blessed. It's just shaking the human part, the emotional part of rejection and having unfortunate things (trials if you will)happen. They say things come in threes and well, in the last two days I've had 3 negative things happen. So hopefully, I'm over it for a while.
After Zumba, I talked to one of my gym friends and we decided to go running together tonight. Rich was off so it happened to work out perfectly. It's been a while since I've gone running outside. Probably since my last 5K. The Valley heat is insane and unbearable to run, during the days at least. Who wants to run when it's 100 degrees outside. Umm no thank you! LOL I needed the time alone (by that Iu mean away from the kids and hubby) to reflect and just get this emotional bagage out of my heart and off my mind. Anyways, we got in a full 3 miles! I feel a lot better too. Maybe it will counter balance the junk food I ate earlier? Maybe, lol. Maybe, not!
My next running event has been decided. June 24th the Davisvillle Moo-nlight Half Mararthon and 5K. I really want to do the half marathon, but it's $50. The 5K is only $25. A few of my friends say that want to run it too, so we are probably going to do the 5K together. It looks like a really good -and fun- event! Something to look forward too.
Philippians 4:6-20
6 Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. 7 And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. 8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. 9 Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you. 10 But I rejoiced in the Lord greatly, that now at the last your care of me hath flourished again; wherein ye were also careful, but ye lacked opportunity. 11 Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. 12 I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. 13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. 14 Notwithstanding ye have well done, that ye did communicate with my affliction. 15 Now ye Philippians know also, that in the beginning of the gospel, when I departed from Macedonia, no church communicated with me as concerning giving and receiving, but ye only. 16 For even in Thessalonica ye sent once and again unto my necessity. 17 Not because I desire a gift: but I desire fruit that may abound to your account. 18 But I have all, and abound: I am full, having received of Epaphroditus the things which were sent from you, an odour of a sweet smell, a sacrifice acceptable, wellpleasing to God. 19 But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus. 20 Now unto God and our Father be glory for ever and ever. Amen.
We had taco bell for dinner. Yeah I know, I know ::hangs head::: I'm cooking tomorrow night, I swear. Good news, I made it to the gym tonight. I did Zumba, it's a fun sort of pick me up kind of class. I figured it would get my exercise in and hopefully my mood will improve too. I believe in my heart that even though I'm down and out, God is really good. Things could be worse, a whole lot worse and I am truly blessed. It's just shaking the human part, the emotional part of rejection and having unfortunate things (trials if you will)happen. They say things come in threes and well, in the last two days I've had 3 negative things happen. So hopefully, I'm over it for a while.
After Zumba, I talked to one of my gym friends and we decided to go running together tonight. Rich was off so it happened to work out perfectly. It's been a while since I've gone running outside. Probably since my last 5K. The Valley heat is insane and unbearable to run, during the days at least. Who wants to run when it's 100 degrees outside. Umm no thank you! LOL I needed the time alone (by that Iu mean away from the kids and hubby) to reflect and just get this emotional bagage out of my heart and off my mind. Anyways, we got in a full 3 miles! I feel a lot better too. Maybe it will counter balance the junk food I ate earlier? Maybe, lol. Maybe, not!
My next running event has been decided. June 24th the Davisvillle Moo-nlight Half Mararthon and 5K. I really want to do the half marathon, but it's $50. The 5K is only $25. A few of my friends say that want to run it too, so we are probably going to do the 5K together. It looks like a really good -and fun- event! Something to look forward too.
Philippians 4:6-20
6 Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. 7 And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. 8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. 9 Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you. 10 But I rejoiced in the Lord greatly, that now at the last your care of me hath flourished again; wherein ye were also careful, but ye lacked opportunity. 11 Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. 12 I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. 13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. 14 Notwithstanding ye have well done, that ye did communicate with my affliction. 15 Now ye Philippians know also, that in the beginning of the gospel, when I departed from Macedonia, no church communicated with me as concerning giving and receiving, but ye only. 16 For even in Thessalonica ye sent once and again unto my necessity. 17 Not because I desire a gift: but I desire fruit that may abound to your account. 18 But I have all, and abound: I am full, having received of Epaphroditus the things which were sent from you, an odour of a sweet smell, a sacrifice acceptable, wellpleasing to God. 19 But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus. 20 Now unto God and our Father be glory for ever and ever. Amen.
WAITING
I had such a busy day yesterday by the time I got home I was exhausted. So yeah no blog time. I had my interview in the morning. We had to all get up, dressed and out of the house before 8:30 am. I think it went well and am hoping the opportunity is offered to me but it's in God's hands now. I'm trying to be patient and WAITing to hear back. It's hard though, I'm anxious and I just want to know so I can move on appropriately. It's so hard, the waiting process. I would be extatic to get the job and can even deal with the disappointment of rejection because I would know it's not what God wants for me. But the WAIT is the hardest part.
I got a lot of phone calls yesterday asking how my entire view went, if I got the job, when will I hear, etc. I know I am highly educated and have been out of work for the past year and am very qualified to work in a lot of different aspects BUT there really aren't that many jobs out there especially that can pay what I need to earn in order to pay my bills and help provide for the family. I'm not going to accept a low paying job and put my kid in daycare just for the sake of working. I know God gave me the time off to focus on myself and my family. When this time is no longer needed, a great job will be offered to me. He will let me know. I just need to keep reminding myself of this and not let everyone's "I really hope you get this job" get to me. It sort of makes me feel like I am letting everyone down if an opportunity isn't offered to me. Yesterday I was so nervous I woke up nauseous and felt that way all day. I have NEVER been like that before because of nerves.
Immediately after my interview, I picked up my girls and we headed to the gym. During my drive I got a call from Rich. Apparently his ATM card didn't work and I thought we had more than enough money in our account. Ahhh... Money stress I called the bank and dealt with that. Of course, I'm fuming mad because a check someone wrote to us bounced...which in turn caused us to not the money we thought we had in our account. Mistakes happen, it's life, just got to deal with it right? I know but immediately I was so angry. Good thing I was at the gym, because I got my anger and frustration out on my routine and running. I felt so much better after running and my line of thinking was re-framed. I ran the entire 30 mintues, except for the times I drank water. I can't run and drink water at the same time, lol, too messy.
I really went through so many emotions yesterday, excitment, anxious, nervous, angry.. I was an emotional wreck. I stuffed my face literally all afternoon because I was anxious. Darn it... not good for the diet! But good news is today is a new day, back on the wagon. Not sure when I'm going to go to the gym today or what I'm gong to do, but I know I'll go. I'm thinking about going tonight and doing Zumba and Yoga or Cycle... We shall see! In the meantime, I've got plenty of household stuff to keep me busy as I wait.
I got a lot of phone calls yesterday asking how my entire view went, if I got the job, when will I hear, etc. I know I am highly educated and have been out of work for the past year and am very qualified to work in a lot of different aspects BUT there really aren't that many jobs out there especially that can pay what I need to earn in order to pay my bills and help provide for the family. I'm not going to accept a low paying job and put my kid in daycare just for the sake of working. I know God gave me the time off to focus on myself and my family. When this time is no longer needed, a great job will be offered to me. He will let me know. I just need to keep reminding myself of this and not let everyone's "I really hope you get this job" get to me. It sort of makes me feel like I am letting everyone down if an opportunity isn't offered to me. Yesterday I was so nervous I woke up nauseous and felt that way all day. I have NEVER been like that before because of nerves.
Immediately after my interview, I picked up my girls and we headed to the gym. During my drive I got a call from Rich. Apparently his ATM card didn't work and I thought we had more than enough money in our account. Ahhh... Money stress I called the bank and dealt with that. Of course, I'm fuming mad because a check someone wrote to us bounced...which in turn caused us to not the money we thought we had in our account. Mistakes happen, it's life, just got to deal with it right? I know but immediately I was so angry. Good thing I was at the gym, because I got my anger and frustration out on my routine and running. I felt so much better after running and my line of thinking was re-framed. I ran the entire 30 mintues, except for the times I drank water. I can't run and drink water at the same time, lol, too messy.
I really went through so many emotions yesterday, excitment, anxious, nervous, angry.. I was an emotional wreck. I stuffed my face literally all afternoon because I was anxious. Darn it... not good for the diet! But good news is today is a new day, back on the wagon. Not sure when I'm going to go to the gym today or what I'm gong to do, but I know I'll go. I'm thinking about going tonight and doing Zumba and Yoga or Cycle... We shall see! In the meantime, I've got plenty of household stuff to keep me busy as I wait.
Monday, July 12, 2010
Camping Yosemite - Tuolumne Meadows
We've spent the last 4 days camping in Yosemite National Park, specifically Tuolumne Meadows. We told Mariyn that we didn't want to have a big party this year for her birthday, instead we would like to take her somewhere or do something with her. She decided she would like to go camping with us and chose Yosemite. We have already been to Yosemite twice this year. It's insanely beautiful every time, such a divinely beautiful place that it is impossible to truly experience it all.
We arrived Thursday and hoped to get a first come first serve camp site. We were put on a waiting list and told to come back just before 2pm because they walk around the campsites then and count how many vacancies they have, then it's first come first serve. Well, we were number 10 on the list and they had 9 available. I was pretty nervous. Lucky for us, two people ahead of us on the list, weren't there. So we got a site. Mariyn was ecstatic. It took a while to set up camp, then we drove around and enjoyed some beautiful views. We actually drove all the way through Tioga Pass for the first time and too Mono lake. Then came back and made dinner. A herd of deer came through our campsite each night right around dinner time. So amazing!
I was really looking forward to hiking and being active with the family. Friday, was Mariyn's birthday. We got up early, sang her Happy Birthday and had cake. Then went and gathered firewood in the forest. Once we got back to camp, it was lunch time. I made lunch for the family and was cutting melon up and fell in a hole, twisting my ankle. Immediately, it started swelling, and brusing. I couldn't put any pressure on it and had to sit down. I was nearly in tears, it was so painful. Rich quickly got me ice and I started to elevate it. Amelia was getting moody and really needed a nap. So hiking for us was out of the question. I told Rich to take Mariyn, I would rest my ankle and nap with Amelia and hopefully, I'd feel better later. Mariyn was very worried about me but I told her I would be fine. Amelia and I naped and when I got up, my swelling had gone down greatly and I could use my ankle again. It wasn't 100% but hey, I could walk. We went to Tenaya Lake. I watch my girls play in the water and later played catch with Mariyn. It was so beautiful there, I really wish we had spent more time there. And, I really want to go back and practice open water swimming there. No boats are allowed on the lake, and is high in elevation so I think it would be a good training place for Tahoe. The water is cold too and fairly remote so not too many people. Good thing we have an annual pass, I already want to go back!
Saturday was our big day for exploration. My ankle was still swollen but no longer too sore. Mariyn had wanted to hike to Dog lake, it's a shorter hike 2.8 miles and rated moderately strenuous because it starts off steep. To be honest tough, it felt really easy. Amelia happily hiked the entire thing needing minimal help but that could be just the type of kid she is, VERY active. Mariyn complained a little and well, that's just the type of kid she is. LOL But we all made it and the views were beautiful. Being physically active as a family, AWESOME! God is so good! We came back to camp, made lunch. Let Amelia rest a bit, 2.8 miles is A LOT for a 3 year old! Then headed out for our next hike, Gaylor Lakes. The map said this had some of the most stunning views on Tioga Pass and of the High Sierra's and described the hike as moderately strenuous, the elevation gain and distance were similar to our earlier hike (actually less). So I figured no big deal, right? Yeah, it felt A LOT steeper. Which wasn't too hard for me or Rich but a little more challenging for Mariyn and a lot more challenging for Amelia. Good news- we all made it to the top of the summit, which had the most beautiful views. Mariyn even wanted to hike down to the lake, so I took her. Rich and Amelia stayed behind at the top to give Amelia a break. I carried Amelia about 1/2 way back down, she was getting tired and it was steep. Plus, bonus exercise for me, right? lol I tell myself, it really shouldn't be anything carrying an extra 30lbs around because I used to carry 65 but I wouldn't have been able to go hiking like this 65lbs ago and if I did, I would have been huffing and puffing until I passed out. About 5 miles of moderately strenuous hiking, not bad for a day on vacation right? I even felt a little sore the next day!
Sunday was our day to pack up and come home. I enjoyed the time with our family, with Rich. We really need to spend more time together as a couple. This trip was a little extra special for us. 10 years ago, when we were dating we took one of our first camping trip to Tuolumne Meadows. It was Richard's first time ever going to Yosemite so we tried to squeeze in so much in such little time. That trip was almost exactly 10 years ago this month. Yosemite is one of those places you could easily spend a month and not be able to see everything, or go in a different season and it will look totally different but none the less amazing it's one of God's most amazing creations. I'm so glad it's in our backyard, so is Rich. It's one of the few times I've ever heard him say how much he loves California. The natural beauty here and recreation in unsurpassed.
Pics to come :)
We arrived Thursday and hoped to get a first come first serve camp site. We were put on a waiting list and told to come back just before 2pm because they walk around the campsites then and count how many vacancies they have, then it's first come first serve. Well, we were number 10 on the list and they had 9 available. I was pretty nervous. Lucky for us, two people ahead of us on the list, weren't there. So we got a site. Mariyn was ecstatic. It took a while to set up camp, then we drove around and enjoyed some beautiful views. We actually drove all the way through Tioga Pass for the first time and too Mono lake. Then came back and made dinner. A herd of deer came through our campsite each night right around dinner time. So amazing!
I was really looking forward to hiking and being active with the family. Friday, was Mariyn's birthday. We got up early, sang her Happy Birthday and had cake. Then went and gathered firewood in the forest. Once we got back to camp, it was lunch time. I made lunch for the family and was cutting melon up and fell in a hole, twisting my ankle. Immediately, it started swelling, and brusing. I couldn't put any pressure on it and had to sit down. I was nearly in tears, it was so painful. Rich quickly got me ice and I started to elevate it. Amelia was getting moody and really needed a nap. So hiking for us was out of the question. I told Rich to take Mariyn, I would rest my ankle and nap with Amelia and hopefully, I'd feel better later. Mariyn was very worried about me but I told her I would be fine. Amelia and I naped and when I got up, my swelling had gone down greatly and I could use my ankle again. It wasn't 100% but hey, I could walk. We went to Tenaya Lake. I watch my girls play in the water and later played catch with Mariyn. It was so beautiful there, I really wish we had spent more time there. And, I really want to go back and practice open water swimming there. No boats are allowed on the lake, and is high in elevation so I think it would be a good training place for Tahoe. The water is cold too and fairly remote so not too many people. Good thing we have an annual pass, I already want to go back!
Saturday was our big day for exploration. My ankle was still swollen but no longer too sore. Mariyn had wanted to hike to Dog lake, it's a shorter hike 2.8 miles and rated moderately strenuous because it starts off steep. To be honest tough, it felt really easy. Amelia happily hiked the entire thing needing minimal help but that could be just the type of kid she is, VERY active. Mariyn complained a little and well, that's just the type of kid she is. LOL But we all made it and the views were beautiful. Being physically active as a family, AWESOME! God is so good! We came back to camp, made lunch. Let Amelia rest a bit, 2.8 miles is A LOT for a 3 year old! Then headed out for our next hike, Gaylor Lakes. The map said this had some of the most stunning views on Tioga Pass and of the High Sierra's and described the hike as moderately strenuous, the elevation gain and distance were similar to our earlier hike (actually less). So I figured no big deal, right? Yeah, it felt A LOT steeper. Which wasn't too hard for me or Rich but a little more challenging for Mariyn and a lot more challenging for Amelia. Good news- we all made it to the top of the summit, which had the most beautiful views. Mariyn even wanted to hike down to the lake, so I took her. Rich and Amelia stayed behind at the top to give Amelia a break. I carried Amelia about 1/2 way back down, she was getting tired and it was steep. Plus, bonus exercise for me, right? lol I tell myself, it really shouldn't be anything carrying an extra 30lbs around because I used to carry 65 but I wouldn't have been able to go hiking like this 65lbs ago and if I did, I would have been huffing and puffing until I passed out. About 5 miles of moderately strenuous hiking, not bad for a day on vacation right? I even felt a little sore the next day!
Sunday was our day to pack up and come home. I enjoyed the time with our family, with Rich. We really need to spend more time together as a couple. This trip was a little extra special for us. 10 years ago, when we were dating we took one of our first camping trip to Tuolumne Meadows. It was Richard's first time ever going to Yosemite so we tried to squeeze in so much in such little time. That trip was almost exactly 10 years ago this month. Yosemite is one of those places you could easily spend a month and not be able to see everything, or go in a different season and it will look totally different but none the less amazing it's one of God's most amazing creations. I'm so glad it's in our backyard, so is Rich. It's one of the few times I've ever heard him say how much he loves California. The natural beauty here and recreation in unsurpassed.
Pics to come :)
Monday, May 17, 2010
I've Got a Feeling
I've got a feelin' Woo hooo... I've got a feelin' ... that tonight's gonna be a good nite...
Tomorrow will make 2 weeks since I've weighed myself. I am SO excited to go to the gym in the morning and step on that scale. I really hope that I see a big change -- I've stayed on track for 2 weeks now with diet and exercise. Plus, I haven't cheated and watched the scale I've just been focusing on my fitness goals.
Speaking of, my body was SO SO sore after the 5K. I had a hard time getting out of bed yesterday, it was THAT sore! My legs were swollen yesterday, and my feet. Today my left knee is still sore and a little inflamed. I had a hard time giving cardio kickboxing 100% tonight but I made it through! I'm hoping my knee is better tomorrow.
This morning I had a job interview! Yes, me an interview! I desperately needed new shoes so I went to Kohl's found a super cute pair for like $16. Even my feet were swollen from the run so I had a hard time fitting into shoes. I am hoping that when the swelling goes down, my shoes will still fit. :-/ If not one of my sisters will love them. I also could use some new slacks or a skirt as mine are really pretty big and I would just feel more confident if my clothes FIT me properly. I'm not into wasting money right now , funds are VERY tight, so I was a little afraid to venture into the women's section. Right away I spotted a cute black A-line skirt about knee length on the clearance rack with one of those thick belts. I said to myself, I'll take a look but I seriously DOUBT it's my size and out of my price range. What are the chances really? Last time I shopped for clothing at Kohl's for myself I left crying because EVERYTHING was too small. It's been a while since that day, but I just couldn't imagine being able to fit into anything in a regular department store. So
I picked up the skirt, noticing it was a size 12 and only $13 and some change. Not bad price. But the burning question was, will it fit? I didn't bother looking around much, it was getting late the skirt was EXACTLY what I would want in an interview. So I quickly went to the dressing room. Tried on the skirt and it FIT and it FIT WELL! I decided that I would splurg and buy both the shoes and the skirt for my interview today. Just my luck, it rained this morning and wasn't skirt weather. I had to wear my "too big" old slacks but I grabbed the belt of the skirt and wore it with my new pumps. Darn weather- had to go and ruin my outfit ;-)
I've got a good feeling about the interview and job opportunity and I've prayed putting it in God's hands to make this decision for me. If it is the right opportunity, to please present it. If it's not the right opportunity, I'd rather the job not be offered to me. I want HIM to make the decision for me. Does prayer really work that way? If the position isn't offered to me, I won't be too disappointed I really feel God working in my life and want HIS will.
Tonight I'm going to be full of hope for a good weigh in tomorrow and a new opportunity. I'm excited for the future. :)
Tomorrow will make 2 weeks since I've weighed myself. I am SO excited to go to the gym in the morning and step on that scale. I really hope that I see a big change -- I've stayed on track for 2 weeks now with diet and exercise. Plus, I haven't cheated and watched the scale I've just been focusing on my fitness goals.
Speaking of, my body was SO SO sore after the 5K. I had a hard time getting out of bed yesterday, it was THAT sore! My legs were swollen yesterday, and my feet. Today my left knee is still sore and a little inflamed. I had a hard time giving cardio kickboxing 100% tonight but I made it through! I'm hoping my knee is better tomorrow.
This morning I had a job interview! Yes, me an interview! I desperately needed new shoes so I went to Kohl's found a super cute pair for like $16. Even my feet were swollen from the run so I had a hard time fitting into shoes. I am hoping that when the swelling goes down, my shoes will still fit. :-/ If not one of my sisters will love them. I also could use some new slacks or a skirt as mine are really pretty big and I would just feel more confident if my clothes FIT me properly. I'm not into wasting money right now , funds are VERY tight, so I was a little afraid to venture into the women's section. Right away I spotted a cute black A-line skirt about knee length on the clearance rack with one of those thick belts. I said to myself, I'll take a look but I seriously DOUBT it's my size and out of my price range. What are the chances really? Last time I shopped for clothing at Kohl's for myself I left crying because EVERYTHING was too small. It's been a while since that day, but I just couldn't imagine being able to fit into anything in a regular department store. So
I picked up the skirt, noticing it was a size 12 and only $13 and some change. Not bad price. But the burning question was, will it fit? I didn't bother looking around much, it was getting late the skirt was EXACTLY what I would want in an interview. So I quickly went to the dressing room. Tried on the skirt and it FIT and it FIT WELL! I decided that I would splurg and buy both the shoes and the skirt for my interview today. Just my luck, it rained this morning and wasn't skirt weather. I had to wear my "too big" old slacks but I grabbed the belt of the skirt and wore it with my new pumps. Darn weather- had to go and ruin my outfit ;-)
I've got a good feeling about the interview and job opportunity and I've prayed putting it in God's hands to make this decision for me. If it is the right opportunity, to please present it. If it's not the right opportunity, I'd rather the job not be offered to me. I want HIM to make the decision for me. Does prayer really work that way? If the position isn't offered to me, I won't be too disappointed I really feel God working in my life and want HIS will.
Tonight I'm going to be full of hope for a good weigh in tomorrow and a new opportunity. I'm excited for the future. :)
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Wants Vs Needs
I really want a bike. I need one for the triathlon coming up in September and I would really like to go on family outings sooner than that. I don't know much about bikes, other than how to ride one but I know I want a quality bike. I've been doing a little research and for a novice I've read that it doesn't really matter what kind of bike you ride, you will learn what you prefer/need as you advance. However, I don't have a bike at all. If I did, I probably would be content with what I have and since I am going to have to buy something, I want to make sure I get a good value on a quality bike. Bikes seem so expensive $500 for an entry level road bike and they go way up from there... like to the price of a car! WOW! Yeah there is no way, I am paying that for a bike - but part of me the really impractical part always thinks I need the best! Yeah, I'm learning my needs and WANTS aren't really the same thing. . . Have I told you that I can be a bit stubborn and can be a very impulsive buyer. Case in point, my car an Acura TSX not exactly a family sedan but I HAD to have it. I know this about me, so I'm actually a little afraid to go into a REAL bike store. I don't want to come home with a $500 (or more) bike just because I was convinced that I needed it or even worse, I convinced myself.
So I've spent several hours a day scouring ebay and craigslist looking for a bike. I've been watching several listings and really wanting to bid (the competitive part in me doesn't like to lose, even if it's just an online auction). But I figured since I just started looking that it would be better to wait it out. Watch longer, read more bike reviews so I really know that I am getting a good deal. Craigslist in my area doesn't have a lot of traffic and well, I don't think there are a lot of cyclist here in general but I'm watching it and the bay area. I have to figure that if I buy out of the bay area it's going to cost me at least an addition $40 in gas.... AT least and consider that into the cost of the bike.
I'm really trying to stick to $100-200 for a bike. Dream bike $300 max. That's a lot of money and even more money to us right now. I'm justifying it as mother's day gift and an investment into our family time and my health-fitness goals.
Today was weigh in Tuesday and I didn't weigh in. I know, I know. I put in the effort all week with exercise. I ate better BUT it was my monthly bible study so I didn't go to the gym this morning and I didn't think it would be fair to weigh myself at night. I figure I'll either weigh myself later this week or next week.
We had a great bible study today. It's the last one of this school year. Gave me a few things to think about, cleaning house and a clean heart. Since it was our last one of the year, we had a little brunch. I brought watermelon and there were all kinds of goodies. I had my fair share today! Which was another reason I decided not to weigh in today. I didn't over eat but I want to be fair to myself too.
Also, I talked to an older man, Buck, who was walking this morning around my neighborhood when I was leaving for bible study. He was a Christian too and just gave me a lot of food for thought. It's funny sometimes we humans think things are random BUT to God nothing is random. It serves a purpose and I believe he intended me to talk to that man today, just as he intended me to hear that message at bible study. I'm going to start spending more time with God, praying and learning. I need to, I know it's what God wants and I just have to make some changes. I love driving by churches and reading their marquee, one I recently read said, "You are important in the purpose of God." Powerful stuff I tell you because I've felt so much lately that I've been living without purpose, without direction. Yet, I've been comforted and my needs have been met. Glory to God, I've enjoyed being a stay at home mom so much more than I ever anticipated. I really feel like there is a purpose to this and Buck (the older man I talked to today) said that whenever I do go back to counseling, I will probably be a better counselor because of it. And you know what . . . I have a feeling he is right. Is it possible that God has used my unemployment to show me the difference between wants and needs? Whatever the reason, I'm sure I've learned a lesson or two . . . or more!
So I've spent several hours a day scouring ebay and craigslist looking for a bike. I've been watching several listings and really wanting to bid (the competitive part in me doesn't like to lose, even if it's just an online auction). But I figured since I just started looking that it would be better to wait it out. Watch longer, read more bike reviews so I really know that I am getting a good deal. Craigslist in my area doesn't have a lot of traffic and well, I don't think there are a lot of cyclist here in general but I'm watching it and the bay area. I have to figure that if I buy out of the bay area it's going to cost me at least an addition $40 in gas.... AT least and consider that into the cost of the bike.
I'm really trying to stick to $100-200 for a bike. Dream bike $300 max. That's a lot of money and even more money to us right now. I'm justifying it as mother's day gift and an investment into our family time and my health-fitness goals.
Today was weigh in Tuesday and I didn't weigh in. I know, I know. I put in the effort all week with exercise. I ate better BUT it was my monthly bible study so I didn't go to the gym this morning and I didn't think it would be fair to weigh myself at night. I figure I'll either weigh myself later this week or next week.
We had a great bible study today. It's the last one of this school year. Gave me a few things to think about, cleaning house and a clean heart. Since it was our last one of the year, we had a little brunch. I brought watermelon and there were all kinds of goodies. I had my fair share today! Which was another reason I decided not to weigh in today. I didn't over eat but I want to be fair to myself too.
Also, I talked to an older man, Buck, who was walking this morning around my neighborhood when I was leaving for bible study. He was a Christian too and just gave me a lot of food for thought. It's funny sometimes we humans think things are random BUT to God nothing is random. It serves a purpose and I believe he intended me to talk to that man today, just as he intended me to hear that message at bible study. I'm going to start spending more time with God, praying and learning. I need to, I know it's what God wants and I just have to make some changes. I love driving by churches and reading their marquee, one I recently read said, "You are important in the purpose of God." Powerful stuff I tell you because I've felt so much lately that I've been living without purpose, without direction. Yet, I've been comforted and my needs have been met. Glory to God, I've enjoyed being a stay at home mom so much more than I ever anticipated. I really feel like there is a purpose to this and Buck (the older man I talked to today) said that whenever I do go back to counseling, I will probably be a better counselor because of it. And you know what . . . I have a feeling he is right. Is it possible that God has used my unemployment to show me the difference between wants and needs? Whatever the reason, I'm sure I've learned a lesson or two . . . or more!
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