Thursday, July 15, 2010

WAITING

I had such a busy day yesterday by the time I got home I was exhausted. So yeah no blog time. I had my interview in the morning. We had to all get up, dressed and out of the house before 8:30 am. I think it went well and am hoping the opportunity is offered to me but it's in God's hands now. I'm trying to be patient and WAITing to hear back. It's hard though, I'm anxious and I just want to know so I can move on appropriately. It's so hard, the waiting process. I would be extatic to get the job and can even deal with the disappointment of rejection because I would know it's not what God wants for me. But the WAIT is the hardest part.

I got a lot of phone calls yesterday asking how my entire view went, if I got the job, when will I hear, etc. I know I am highly educated and have been out of work for the past year and am very qualified to work in a lot of different aspects BUT there really aren't that many jobs out there especially that can pay what I need to earn in order to pay my bills and help provide for the family. I'm not going to accept a low paying job and put my kid in daycare just for the sake of working. I know God gave me the time off to focus on myself and my family. When this time is no longer needed, a great job will be offered to me. He will let me know. I just need to keep reminding myself of this and not let everyone's "I really hope you get this job" get to me. It sort of makes me feel like I am letting everyone down if an opportunity isn't offered to me. Yesterday I was so nervous I woke up nauseous and felt that way all day. I have NEVER been like that before because of nerves.

Immediately after my interview, I picked up my girls and we headed to the gym. During my drive I got a call from Rich. Apparently his ATM card didn't work and I thought we had more than enough money in our account. Ahhh... Money stress I called the bank and dealt with that. Of course, I'm fuming mad because a check someone wrote to us bounced...which in turn caused us to not the money we thought we had in our account. Mistakes happen, it's life, just got to deal with it right? I know but immediately I was so angry. Good thing I was at the gym, because I got my anger and frustration out on my routine and running. I felt so much better after running and my line of thinking was re-framed. I ran the entire 30 mintues, except for the times I drank water. I can't run and drink water at the same time, lol, too messy.

I really went through so many emotions yesterday, excitment, anxious, nervous, angry.. I was an emotional wreck. I stuffed my face literally all afternoon because I was anxious. Darn it... not good for the diet! But good news is today is a new day, back on the wagon. Not sure when I'm going to go to the gym today or what I'm gong to do, but I know I'll go. I'm thinking about going tonight and doing Zumba and Yoga or Cycle... We shall see! In the meantime, I've got plenty of household stuff to keep me busy as I wait.

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