Reflecting on 28 years

It's Friday morning - sometime this afternoon I will be headed to Tahoe for the triathlon. I'm excited for many reasons. And I can't wait to update all of you about it, I really truly appreciate all your support and comments.

Today is important to me. It's the last day I will be 28 years old. I'm closing a chapter of my life and opening a new one. I've come so far in the last year. A year ago, I was in a bad place emotionally, physically and spiritually. After my first year, I just lost my "dream" job as a school counselor due to budget cuts, I had a lot of family drama and my health and weight was at it's worst. Depressed I didn't know which direction to go or what I was supposed to do in life. I was miserable to be around because I was miserable. I was lost -- no purpose.

A friend of mine invited me to bible study. It was there, I really learned to appreciate the many blessings I have. It was there I learned to forgive, myself and others. It was there I learned I was not truly lost, there was hope. It was there I realized that I am not going without purpose, the destination may be unclear but these trials and tribulations were there to teach me somethings.

For 28 years, I relied on myself. I knew that if I worked hard I could achieve anything I really set my mind to. I was determined and I knew that no one else but me was going to help me. I put myself out there on the line time and time again, holding up everything do it all -- I felt -- by myself. So much stress, hurt, anger and frustration resulted.

Today, I am no longer this way. Even when I feel like I have no one to turn to, I do. I talk to God about my worries, my concerns and my blessings.

Last year, I weighed 258 lbs. I had symptoms of type 2 diabetes and other major health problems. I was no longer able to enjoy the things I loved to do, like playing catch with my daughter. I was an emotional mess and a ticking time bomb ready to explode. I felt there was nothing I could do about my weight, so I never even tried.

Today, I handle stress much better am usually happy and have people tell me how optimistic I am. I've lost nearly 70 lbs (more than 1/4 of my body weight, and still lossing. I am healthy, fit and try live life to the fullest. I am truly content in my life, even though nothing in life is stable right now (financially speaking). Even though I still haven't found a job. Even though... I could go on and on but I don't dwell on it.

What's changed you ask? Me, I've changed by the grace of God. I can't explain everything or why I just know that I'm different now. I'm much happier with the little things in life and can see my blessings for what they are, gift from God.

I'm so excited to turn 29 tomorrow. Yeah there is a whole list of goals I wanted to complete before I turned 29 that I didn't make (like my goal weight) but I've learned not everything happens on my watch. It's on God's. I'm excited to open a new chapter of my life and you know being 29 sounds wonderful.

I can't wait to see what goal's I met this year and what new blessings God brings. I am so excited to be able to enjoy my birthday in a healthy way celebrating 29 years of life.

Running Machine

:::singing:: I'm just a running machine... and I won't work for nobody but you! hahaha

Ok so, I'm a dork and maybe a bit obsessive with blogging today. I missed the gym today. I had company over and just lost track of time, didn't feel like rushing them out and off to the gym for cardio kickboxing. The kids were having fun in the pool, so I decided whatever. I'll try to get in a run later or something.

Rich was on call, so I knew I couldn't run *far* necessarily. My friend Zumara met me at my house and we basically ran up and down my street and one loop of the neighborhood. We ran for about an hour or so. When I got home I went to mapmyrun.com we ran just over 6 miles! Woo Woo. Unbelievable! I never thought I would be able to run *THAT* far. Well, I sort of knew I could run farther but 6 miles! WOW!

Honestly, when we got back I was thirsty but I wasn't exhausted. I feel so good, and oh so proud of myself and of Zumara. That was the furthest, I've ran and I think her too. Did I mention I feel great? 1/2 marathon here we come!

I think this route worked out well to get a good long run in while my hubby is on call. :)

Milestone

I got a great workout today in body pump and cycle. Woke up early made it to the gym by 8 am. Even though I've been doing this routine for months, getting up and getting out of the house is still a challenge for me. Every Tuesday morning I try to convince myself I don't need to get up and it's ok if I don't make it to body pump. But as soon as I start with the excuses, I know it's time to get up and out of bed. I'm so glad I did today.

Weigh in today was a milestone! 2 pound loss this week not a huge loss but a loss again! So what's the milestone you ask? I'm no longer a two hundred pounder! Today I weighed in at One hundred ninty-nine pounds! Yep ONE HUNDRED you see that! LOL

I am really starting to see my bone structure, muscle tone. It's been a long time since I was under 200 lbs. I got down to 180 lbs in 2005 because I was sick (gallstones) not because I was dieting and exercising. I lost the weight really quickly and gained it back really quickly too. Really, that is the smallest I've been since I've had children. Want to know what? I still have some of the clothes I wore then and I was trying them on the other day and they FIT! Snug I must admit but they did fit! A couple more weeks and I'll be able to wear them in public! I've noticed my gym clothes are getting big on me again -- yeah the size medium ones that I blogged about a while back are starting to sag and I'm in dire need of new tank tops and new bras. You can actually place your entire hand in the cup of my bra. The same cup that runnith over with boobage just a few months ago.

One of the biggest changes I've noticed late is I have a lot more noticeable bone structure. My bones are petitie, not medium not large. I am definitely not a big boned girl. On the other hand, my muscle mass is very large. Which creates beautiful curves. I've had so many women come up and compliment me on my curves and shape from behind. Yeah the front still needs some work. I've got to bust the rest of this gut and my thighs.

Officially, I've lost 59 lbs. 41 lbs more to go to hit my goal of losing 100 lbs. Then I plan on re-evaluating my shape, my fitness level and possible goal.