Friday, September 17, 2010

Reflecting on 28 years

It's Friday morning - sometime this afternoon I will be headed to Tahoe for the triathlon. I'm excited for many reasons. And I can't wait to update all of you about it, I really truly appreciate all your support and comments.

Today is important to me. It's the last day I will be 28 years old. I'm closing a chapter of my life and opening a new one. I've come so far in the last year. A year ago, I was in a bad place emotionally, physically and spiritually. After my first year, I just lost my "dream" job as a school counselor due to budget cuts, I had a lot of family drama and my health and weight was at it's worst. Depressed I didn't know which direction to go or what I was supposed to do in life. I was miserable to be around because I was miserable. I was lost -- no purpose.

A friend of mine invited me to bible study. It was there, I really learned to appreciate the many blessings I have. It was there I learned to forgive, myself and others. It was there I learned I was not truly lost, there was hope. It was there I realized that I am not going without purpose, the destination may be unclear but these trials and tribulations were there to teach me somethings.

For 28 years, I relied on myself. I knew that if I worked hard I could achieve anything I really set my mind to. I was determined and I knew that no one else but me was going to help me. I put myself out there on the line time and time again, holding up everything do it all -- I felt -- by myself. So much stress, hurt, anger and frustration resulted.

Today, I am no longer this way. Even when I feel like I have no one to turn to, I do. I talk to God about my worries, my concerns and my blessings.

Last year, I weighed 258 lbs. I had symptoms of type 2 diabetes and other major health problems. I was no longer able to enjoy the things I loved to do, like playing catch with my daughter. I was an emotional mess and a ticking time bomb ready to explode. I felt there was nothing I could do about my weight, so I never even tried.

Today, I handle stress much better am usually happy and have people tell me how optimistic I am. I've lost nearly 70 lbs (more than 1/4 of my body weight, and still lossing. I am healthy, fit and try live life to the fullest. I am truly content in my life, even though nothing in life is stable right now (financially speaking). Even though I still haven't found a job. Even though... I could go on and on but I don't dwell on it.

What's changed you ask? Me, I've changed by the grace of God. I can't explain everything or why I just know that I'm different now. I'm much happier with the little things in life and can see my blessings for what they are, gift from God.

I'm so excited to turn 29 tomorrow. Yeah there is a whole list of goals I wanted to complete before I turned 29 that I didn't make (like my goal weight) but I've learned not everything happens on my watch. It's on God's. I'm excited to open a new chapter of my life and you know being 29 sounds wonderful.

I can't wait to see what goal's I met this year and what new blessings God brings. I am so excited to be able to enjoy my birthday in a healthy way celebrating 29 years of life.

4 comments:

  1. This brought tears to my eyes! So proud of you! Love you cousin. You are going to do great! No go kick some butt!! xoxo Your aunt is here so I will get your cell from her and text you so you can update us asap. LOL! :)

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  2. Just came across your blog and have enjoyed reading some of your back posts leading up to your tri. You've already left I imagine, so you'll not see this comment until after the fact, but I wish you the best of luck and can't wait to see how you do. And BTW, happy birthday.

    Sharon
    http://gainsandlosseslifethroughsharonseyes.blogspot.com/

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  3. Wishing you the absolute best as you enter this new chapter in your life... I am so excited to hear about the triathalon, good luck!

    Happy birthday!

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  4. Happy happy birthday!!!! You've accomplished amazing things in a year, so there's so much to celebrate. I think it's wonderful that you're doing this in your twenties. I'm almost 43 and am just now figuring out what you've already learned. I hope you did well in the triathalon. Try not to keep us waiting to find out how you did.

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