Goals: I've always been a determined personality. I focus on a goal and really push myself to achieving it with everything I have. It's really benefited me so much in life. Yesterday, I interviewed for a job that I would really like to have, it pays good, it's what I went to school for and it's in my home town. I was 1 of 490 applicants, 1 of 75 interviewed! I don't think my interview went great, I could have done a lot better. But it is what it is. I prayed this opportunity as I walked on to the campus asking God for his guidance. I would really like to go back to work but I am also enjoying the time at home with my kids.
I am really rethinking my fitness goals to. I shouldn't really say re-thinking I guess I just need to re-focus. My next 5K is coming up in about 2 weeks. Mariyn is running the mile. I'm not sure how much (if any) of my running has improved since my last. I've been making poor eating choices that I can tell affect the way I feel and my weight. I want to stay competitive and focused. I've decided that on Sat. May 1st, I am going to re-focus and just be done binging.
I've taken it easy at the gym this week. I went Tuesday not Weds. Today, I had a great workout though, Clare and I had a gym date, weights and running. She ended up having to leave about 10 minutes into our run, I started to tell myself that I was just going to quit and be done for the day. Somehow, I managed to stick it out and finish the 30 minutes. I was proud of myself because I really wanted to be lazy and the only reason I made it to the gym today was because I knew Clare was counting on me.
I hadn't been to Zumba in a while either. I really do enjoy it and I think I've missed 3 weeks due to various reasons. Tonight I forced myself to go even though I did an hours worth of weights and 30 minutes of cardio earlier in the day. It was hard, especially at first. My body was tired but I remember why I go - I really do love Zumba. It's a lot of fun. I missed it.
We had Chinese food tonight. I was probably only a 4 but I was really craving it. Normally, it's a 8 or 9 but tonight just wasn't so good. After dinner, Mariyn and I went for a mile run. I was tired but she does need to train for our run, so I reluctantly agreed to go. Let me tell you, I'm already sore. I know I will be in pain tomorrow. Today I've done 1 hour of weights + 2.5 miles on the treadmill + Zumba + 1 running with Mariyn = expect to be sore tomorrow! More and more people are commenting on my weight loss. Even though it's been a few weeks since I've lost anything, it still feels good. I borrowed my mom's camera so expect progress pictures soon ;-)
Goals: get back on track with my weight loss and diet. Finish 5K May 15th running, Start swim training for the triathlon, 5K in June, find an event for July and possibly August. Triathlon in Sept.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Cake
Love you like a fat kid loves cake. I've always smiled when I've heard that lyric. Let me tell you, I've been giving the cake a lot of love! Friday was Amelia's 3rd birthday, so of course, we had cake that night and Thursday I couldn't resist a cookie monster cup cake I seen when I was placing my order, and Sunday we had a huge party with you guessed it more cake. Oh and what is my biggest guilty pleasure food - you've guessed it - CAKE! You can probably guess it, I went overboard and ate too much cake. It was so delicious though. I really need to get back on track, to be completely honest since the last weigh in for the competition my eating habits have gotten ugly. I want to stay motivated but am finding it difficult. I'm feeling very burnt out with everything. Until today, I hadn't been at the gym since Thursday. So I missed my regular Friday and Monday routines.
Physically, I'm not feeling as strong as I was. My wrist has been hurting for a bout a month now. Originally, I thought I just slept on it wrong but it hasn't gone away. I keep pushing forward or attempting to. I'm starting to think about taking some time off from weight training and just focusing on cardio. I'm not sure if it will give my body some needed rest or if I will lose momentum and progress.
Today, I did body pump and cycle. Man it was killer. I really had to push myself to go and even to get all the way through both classes. I had a really good conversation with Ticka. I learned that she used to be a therapist and now she is the group fitness coordinator. I wondered what prompted her decision to change careers. My future is something I am still trying to figure out - how can I help provide for my family and still have family time. Do I put my degrees to use? Is counseling my calling? What is God's plan for me?
On the way home from the gym, I picked up the registration forms for my next 5K. Trying to make sure I stay motivated.
Oh and I weighed in today. I gained 2 lbs... not beating myself up over it.
Physically, I'm not feeling as strong as I was. My wrist has been hurting for a bout a month now. Originally, I thought I just slept on it wrong but it hasn't gone away. I keep pushing forward or attempting to. I'm starting to think about taking some time off from weight training and just focusing on cardio. I'm not sure if it will give my body some needed rest or if I will lose momentum and progress.
Today, I did body pump and cycle. Man it was killer. I really had to push myself to go and even to get all the way through both classes. I had a really good conversation with Ticka. I learned that she used to be a therapist and now she is the group fitness coordinator. I wondered what prompted her decision to change careers. My future is something I am still trying to figure out - how can I help provide for my family and still have family time. Do I put my degrees to use? Is counseling my calling? What is God's plan for me?
On the way home from the gym, I picked up the registration forms for my next 5K. Trying to make sure I stay motivated.
Oh and I weighed in today. I gained 2 lbs... not beating myself up over it.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Running with Riyni
Clare and I finally had a gym date today. It felt good to have someone to run with today. It's been 2 weeks since our last gym date. I've been pretty consistent at the gym despite not having a work out partner. We got in about an hour of weights and 30 minutes on the treadmill. I did the first 20 running but decided to do a walking incline for the last 10. I was reading that you can actually burn more fat by doing walking, running intervals. I really want to try that but I also have to be prepared for my next race. It's coming up soon - May 15th.
Mariyn wants to run the 1 mile with me that day. I've decided that I'm going to let her. I told her she had to practice running. Let me tell you, that girl can run! But she does get winded easily, so she needs to work on pacing. Tonight we ran around my normal park route. It's a little over 1 mile, with a steep up hill at the end. This is the first time Mariyn ran this route and she did well but she got winded several times. I kept telling her to run slower like me but she wanted to beat me and so she wouldn't. She ran completely out of energy going up the hill and just couldn't keep up. If I wasn't such a paranoid parent, I would have left her behind but being that it is dark and I am that paranoid parent. I stopped and walked with her a bit. I told her when you run, your supposed to run in medium pace, so you can last longer. Save your super fast pace for the very end. When she caught her breath, we ended up sprinting in and she did in fact beat me. I can't say I'm faster than her... She gets so excited running with me. I absolutely love it.
Mariyn wants to run the 1 mile with me that day. I've decided that I'm going to let her. I told her she had to practice running. Let me tell you, that girl can run! But she does get winded easily, so she needs to work on pacing. Tonight we ran around my normal park route. It's a little over 1 mile, with a steep up hill at the end. This is the first time Mariyn ran this route and she did well but she got winded several times. I kept telling her to run slower like me but she wanted to beat me and so she wouldn't. She ran completely out of energy going up the hill and just couldn't keep up. If I wasn't such a paranoid parent, I would have left her behind but being that it is dark and I am that paranoid parent. I stopped and walked with her a bit. I told her when you run, your supposed to run in medium pace, so you can last longer. Save your super fast pace for the very end. When she caught her breath, we ended up sprinting in and she did in fact beat me. I can't say I'm faster than her... She gets so excited running with me. I absolutely love it.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Yoga
I've always thought that certain things are just for skinny people. Yoga for instance, seems like the type of exercise only long, limber, thin people should do. You know the ideal ballerina type. Anyone else would just stand out like a beached whale or sore thumb. Especially a short curvy person like myself. A few of the regulars at the gym have been doing yoga for a while. They have it twice a week on Tuesday and Thursday nights, right after Zumba. I've kinda sized up the ladies that stick around a time or two. To my surprise they were not all ballerina's. Not all their movements even seemed graceful. After seeing this, I decided that someday I would give Yoga a shot. Hey, why not, I've embarrassed myself before and lived through humiliation. I'm sure Yoga can't be any worse. Plus, it's at 6:30 a time that I sometimes go to the gym with Rich. I figured he can work out and sometimes, I could get my yoga on.
This morning, I got up and put in my 2 hours at the gym body pump and cycle. I didn't lift as heavy of weights as I normally do because I'm not feeling 100% after the accident. I feel ok, slightly weak and a little stiff/sore. I don't want to stop going to the gym because I feel like exercise is helping work the stiffness out. Plus, I want to keep up on my routine, no excuses right?
Tonight I did it, I braved Yoga. It seemed to really help with the stiffness and pain I was feeling. My body feels so relaxed. But don't let me fool you, some of those movements were hard! Even the ones that looked fairly easy, caused strain. My body really needed a good stretch, so I figured tonight was as good as any. Rich worked out while I braved Yoga. It was amazing looking around thin women, big women, old and young all gracefully stretching. I was able to tell, who was probably a regular and even the big women could be as flexible as the thin women.... AMAZING I tell you. Let me tell you... Yoga is no joke! I felt like I targeted some hard to tone muscles and strengthened my core. I thought I was just going in for a little rest and stretch. The class was far better than I expected and was much needed!
This morning, I got up and put in my 2 hours at the gym body pump and cycle. I didn't lift as heavy of weights as I normally do because I'm not feeling 100% after the accident. I feel ok, slightly weak and a little stiff/sore. I don't want to stop going to the gym because I feel like exercise is helping work the stiffness out. Plus, I want to keep up on my routine, no excuses right?
Tonight I did it, I braved Yoga. It seemed to really help with the stiffness and pain I was feeling. My body feels so relaxed. But don't let me fool you, some of those movements were hard! Even the ones that looked fairly easy, caused strain. My body really needed a good stretch, so I figured tonight was as good as any. Rich worked out while I braved Yoga. It was amazing looking around thin women, big women, old and young all gracefully stretching. I was able to tell, who was probably a regular and even the big women could be as flexible as the thin women.... AMAZING I tell you. Let me tell you... Yoga is no joke! I felt like I targeted some hard to tone muscles and strengthened my core. I thought I was just going in for a little rest and stretch. The class was far better than I expected and was much needed!
Monday, April 19, 2010
Purpose
I've been crazy busy lately. I'm still keeping up with my routine, softball plus life. You know the warmer months seem to be busier. I've gotten the opportunity to apply for two jobs recently. I'm a little torn but I think it might be time to go back to work. I'm still looking and wondering about my purpose. I feel very complete in life but I still feel like there is something I'm missing. Purpose. I'm not sure what my purpose is right now, besides being a mother and wife but I know it's out there. I know God has a purpose for me.
I was very quickly reminded of this on Friday. I was coming back into town Friday afternoon and was already running late. I had one of my friends pick up Mariyn from school. Amelia was with me. We were stopped at a signal light when a Semi rear ended me. I drive a small Acura. My car jolted forward and I heard a loud crashing noise. I got out of my car, afraid to look at the damage. I mean, I was rear ended by a semi. Amelia and I are fine. Amazingly, my car has only minor damage. I was a tad sore, stiff but I'm feeling better every day. I know there must have been an Angel watching over us. Praise God! I have purpose - my time is not up yet.
We had a very active weekend. Saturday Mariyn had softball. We played two really good games. They don't keep score but I'd say we won. After the game, I came home with a splitting headache and took a nap. Saturday night, we went to a friends and unexpectedly stayed really late. Sunday, we went to Yosemite. It was amazing as always. In addition to the beautiful waterfalls and amazing granite rocks, we seen a ton of wild life, deer, coyote, squirrels and two (possibly three) bears. We did a lot of walking / hiking with the kids. I craved chocolate so bad. I ended up getting a few candy bars to share with the family. One was a huckleberry chocolate - SO good - a 10! YUM!!
Today, I spent the day running errands getting estimates on my car. I made it back to the gym tonight for cardio kickboxing. I felt fine all day but cardio kickboxing was a little more difficult than usual. I felt a lot of pressure on my spine especially towards the end of class. Tomorrow, I'm going to try to squeeze in a yoga class. Hopefully that will resolve any issues.
I was very quickly reminded of this on Friday. I was coming back into town Friday afternoon and was already running late. I had one of my friends pick up Mariyn from school. Amelia was with me. We were stopped at a signal light when a Semi rear ended me. I drive a small Acura. My car jolted forward and I heard a loud crashing noise. I got out of my car, afraid to look at the damage. I mean, I was rear ended by a semi. Amelia and I are fine. Amazingly, my car has only minor damage. I was a tad sore, stiff but I'm feeling better every day. I know there must have been an Angel watching over us. Praise God! I have purpose - my time is not up yet.
We had a very active weekend. Saturday Mariyn had softball. We played two really good games. They don't keep score but I'd say we won. After the game, I came home with a splitting headache and took a nap. Saturday night, we went to a friends and unexpectedly stayed really late. Sunday, we went to Yosemite. It was amazing as always. In addition to the beautiful waterfalls and amazing granite rocks, we seen a ton of wild life, deer, coyote, squirrels and two (possibly three) bears. We did a lot of walking / hiking with the kids. I craved chocolate so bad. I ended up getting a few candy bars to share with the family. One was a huckleberry chocolate - SO good - a 10! YUM!!
Today, I spent the day running errands getting estimates on my car. I made it back to the gym tonight for cardio kickboxing. I felt fine all day but cardio kickboxing was a little more difficult than usual. I felt a lot of pressure on my spine especially towards the end of class. Tomorrow, I'm going to try to squeeze in a yoga class. Hopefully that will resolve any issues.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
I can do all things...
God is so awesome. He created a perfect body for me curvy and beautiful. Then I took it and let it go. I've ravished my perfect body. I've been glutenous. I've been lazy and not exercised. I've used every excuse in the book: it's too hard, I don't feel like it, and ignored the problem. This perfect body helped me grow two beautiful and perfect children all while I continued to neglect and abuse it. I turned my beautiful perfect body into a mess. I ignored my body's needs to the point where I thought it could never be the same or even remotely as healthy as it once was.
Yet, God is so gracious. So forgiving. Even the most ravished bodies can be healed and re sculpted. It's amazing that the human body has the ability to gain and lose weight like it does. I think it's just another way God shows his forgiveness and his love for us. While I know my body won't be the same, but really what Christian is the same after their trials and tribulations. I know that God gives me the strength to overcome my weight and to become stronger physically and in faith. I've always been a really strong willed and dedicated person but being over weight has made me week. It was something that I struggled with. I don't know how many times, I've looked in the mirror and thought nothing's changing. Is it really worth it? With that said, I know these are my times of weakness. I am claiming these verses to help me along the way:
(Philippians 4:13) 13 I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me.
II Corinthians 12:9-10) 9 He has said to me, "“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”" Most gladly therefore I will rather glory in my weaknesses, that the power of Christ may rest on me. 10 Therefore I take pleasure in weaknesses, in injuries, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then am I strong.
I got up and made it to cycling this morning. It's my first time doing the Weds class and boy was it a challenge! Also my eating is back on track today. No more excuses. It's funny to say it but I can really feel a difference in my body because I've been eating poorly the last few days. I just feel so heavy and sluggish while working out. It took so much more energy to cycle today then normal. I was talking to 2 of the regular girls after cycle. One of them said that I have slimmed down so much and how good I look from behind. She said my back and the back of my arms are very trim and muscular. She said like I was never overweight at all. What a great compliment! Of course, I can't see my back side so it's really nice to hear that it is shaping up well too. My stomach, well, it's still a work in progress. After cycle, I did 100 crunches on the ab weight machine, 100 oblique crunches on each side and 50 leg lift crunches. My abs were on fire when I was done and a change in my routine felt good!
Yet, God is so gracious. So forgiving. Even the most ravished bodies can be healed and re sculpted. It's amazing that the human body has the ability to gain and lose weight like it does. I think it's just another way God shows his forgiveness and his love for us. While I know my body won't be the same, but really what Christian is the same after their trials and tribulations. I know that God gives me the strength to overcome my weight and to become stronger physically and in faith. I've always been a really strong willed and dedicated person but being over weight has made me week. It was something that I struggled with. I don't know how many times, I've looked in the mirror and thought nothing's changing. Is it really worth it? With that said, I know these are my times of weakness. I am claiming these verses to help me along the way:
(Philippians 4:13) 13 I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me.
II Corinthians 12:9-10) 9 He has said to me, "“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”" Most gladly therefore I will rather glory in my weaknesses, that the power of Christ may rest on me. 10 Therefore I take pleasure in weaknesses, in injuries, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then am I strong.
I got up and made it to cycling this morning. It's my first time doing the Weds class and boy was it a challenge! Also my eating is back on track today. No more excuses. It's funny to say it but I can really feel a difference in my body because I've been eating poorly the last few days. I just feel so heavy and sluggish while working out. It took so much more energy to cycle today then normal. I was talking to 2 of the regular girls after cycle. One of them said that I have slimmed down so much and how good I look from behind. She said my back and the back of my arms are very trim and muscular. She said like I was never overweight at all. What a great compliment! Of course, I can't see my back side so it's really nice to hear that it is shaping up well too. My stomach, well, it's still a work in progress. After cycle, I did 100 crunches on the ab weight machine, 100 oblique crunches on each side and 50 leg lift crunches. My abs were on fire when I was done and a change in my routine felt good!
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Old habits die hard
I've been eating really poorly. Last night, I even went to the grocery store to return a movie and I got a candy... ok, ok, well I got two. Yes I even ate one on the way home in the car. I know, old habits die hard! I really wanted two though and I told myself I was getting back on the wagon today. I started the day off right, I made a beautiful tropical fruit salad for church this morning. It was FABULOUS! Everyone loved it! If I had a camera, I would have taken a picture. Then, lunch time came around and I ate out with Richard. I had a chicken pennini. It was good but it wasn't a 10, more like a 7. It won't be worth eating again, that's for sure. We went to the gym this evening. Yes I said we, Rich went with me, he hasn't been in about 3 weeks. I'm glad he came. I did Zumba then about an hour or so of weights. Sure enough though, we leave the gym and Rich asks, "Can we have Cafe Bravo for dinner?" Mariyn did the same thing. I gave in. Cafe Bravo is my favorite. We split a burrito too, so it wasn't as damaging eating only half the meal! I'll get back on the eating healthy wagon, I swear.
Lately, I feel as if I'm at a crossroads. Something exciting is going to happen, I can feel it. I'm not sure what it is but I feel like God has a plan for me I just don't know what it is. I keep looking around waiting for it. Feeling excited not knowing what to do. The more I think about it, the more I feel it. We shall see!
Oh and I actually applied for 2 jobs today! Huge for me... we will see if they pan out but there hasn't been anything to apply for in months so just having something to apply for is exciting. LOL
Lately, I feel as if I'm at a crossroads. Something exciting is going to happen, I can feel it. I'm not sure what it is but I feel like God has a plan for me I just don't know what it is. I keep looking around waiting for it. Feeling excited not knowing what to do. The more I think about it, the more I feel it. We shall see!
Oh and I actually applied for 2 jobs today! Huge for me... we will see if they pan out but there hasn't been anything to apply for in months so just having something to apply for is exciting. LOL
Monday, April 12, 2010
Pre--pregnancy Weight
I decided to celebrate the completion of the contest. We had pizza for dinner tonight. A few weeks ago, the rest of the family had pizza. It smelled so good and I wanted some badly but I didn't give in. Instead, I said after I'm done with the contest I'll have Pizza. Normally, I don't even like pizza. Today Mariyn reminded me that it was time for Pizza tonight since I was done with my contest. I'm not going to get in the habit of eating poorly since I'm no longer competing but I don't mind eating less strict every now and then. I think it will help keep me from feeling so much burn out.
Tonight, I did cardio kickboxing. I really wanted to take the night off but I didn't. I still have goals to obtain. I'm staying focused. I was a little bit late today so I tried to sneak into the back. Tick called me out and said, come join me up front. HaHa... yeah I guess you can really tell I'm a regular!
Tomorrow morning I have my monthly bible study. I'm making a fruit salad to bring and share. I'll be missing my morning body pump and spin class so I plan to be back at the gym tomorrow night. I won't weigh in tomorrow since I weighed today at 202lbs. 3 lbs less than last week for a total loss of 56lbs! I am actually 1 lbs less than my pre-Amelia pregnancy weight. Just about the same weight as I've been for most of my 20's. I'm hoping the rest of the weight comes off just as quickly as this 56lbs has.
Tonight, I did cardio kickboxing. I really wanted to take the night off but I didn't. I still have goals to obtain. I'm staying focused. I was a little bit late today so I tried to sneak into the back. Tick called me out and said, come join me up front. HaHa... yeah I guess you can really tell I'm a regular!
Tomorrow morning I have my monthly bible study. I'm making a fruit salad to bring and share. I'll be missing my morning body pump and spin class so I plan to be back at the gym tomorrow night. I won't weigh in tomorrow since I weighed today at 202lbs. 3 lbs less than last week for a total loss of 56lbs! I am actually 1 lbs less than my pre-Amelia pregnancy weight. Just about the same weight as I've been for most of my 20's. I'm hoping the rest of the weight comes off just as quickly as this 56lbs has.
Challenge Complete
90 days ago, I started the Gold's Gym know your own strength challenge. I almost backed out because you had to take a before and after photo in a two piece. My body hasn't seen a two piece since 2002, the summer before I had children and I can't say that I really ever want to wear one again. In the last 90 days, I've made numerous changes: eaten a lot healthier and I've exercised hard. As you all know my goal is to lose 100lbs. I'm about half way there. This contest has helped me stay focused when I didn't want to continue. Let's face it, I'm competitive and I went into this contest to win. I want to have the biggest body transformation at my gym and I've put in the work. I think I will be ok if someone else wins because I know I did my best BUT I want to win.
Our local gym only had about 10-15 contestants. Most of them women and only 1 man that I know of. It really wasn't organized that well and until yesterday I didn't even know when my final weigh in was going to be. I only found out because I kept on hounding them. I'm sure there will be contestants who slip through the cracks. I'm glad I participated - my results are great BUT they are only part of my total body transformation that started in October and will continue long after this contest ends. I've been feeling a bit of burn out lately and I'm really glad I am done with the competition. As soon as I finished weighing in I went to Moss Rose Bakery and had the most delicious pastry to celebrate. Don't worry, I will be back on the wagon again because I am totally motivated and am going to continue focusing more on my fitness goals. Here is a copy of my before and after measurements.
Our local gym only had about 10-15 contestants. Most of them women and only 1 man that I know of. It really wasn't organized that well and until yesterday I didn't even know when my final weigh in was going to be. I only found out because I kept on hounding them. I'm sure there will be contestants who slip through the cracks. I'm glad I participated - my results are great BUT they are only part of my total body transformation that started in October and will continue long after this contest ends. I've been feeling a bit of burn out lately and I'm really glad I am done with the competition. As soon as I finished weighing in I went to Moss Rose Bakery and had the most delicious pastry to celebrate. Don't worry, I will be back on the wagon again because I am totally motivated and am going to continue focusing more on my fitness goals. Here is a copy of my before and after measurements.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Price of Beauty
I've heard Jessica Simpson has a show called The Price of Beauty. I don't have any type of broadcast television so I've never really seen it. This blog ideas are my own but sort of pseudo inspired by a similar idea.
The other day, I seen online that a women spends nearly 45,000 annually on hair extensions. Holy Cow! That enough money to support some families of 4. Just think of how much women spend on cosmetics, clothing and other beautification. Does it really give us a competitive edge to be more beautiful then the next woman? What ever happened to beauty being only skin deep?
Let me be blunt. I've been working out and dieting for just over 6 months. I've seen great results. I realized tonight that in this time I've only eaten fast food once. I stay pretty dedicated to both the gym and my diet. Most of the time I go to the gym 5 days a week, 2 hours a day. Lately, I've been really feeling burnt out. Despite my progress, despite my results and desire to make changes. I'm going to keep going though... I know it's what is best.
Every time I want to give up or think this isn't worth it I think of this. What would I pay or do to be skinny to have my dream body back? What exactly is the price of beauty. My dream body isn't something that Hollywood says is beautiful, it isn't something you would see in a centerfold of a magazine. My dream body is the best body that I can have, naturally. Ideally, it would look something like it did before I had children but my kids were worth the stretch marks and some figure changes. I can deal with that.
Many of women, including my friends have resulted to cosmetic surgery. Enhancing certain parts of their body and paying thousands of dollars for a larger bust, tummy tucks, etc. At this point in my life, cosmetic surgery isn't an option. But I do empathize with the feelings some of these people have. What I would give to have my body exactly the way I wanted it. When I think about it -- the answer is simple. Anything, ok well, almost anything. So easy cosmetic surgery seems to be, fork over some cash, see instant changes, ideal results. Yet it's so invasive. To me this is a last resort option even if that and so many women flock to this option first.
On a similar note, I've had a few friends who have had gastric bypass or other types of stomach altering surgeries. A few of these people were 40+ and extremely obese, possibly making this the best option for them. While others were young, in their 20's and overweight but not necessarily more overweight than I am or was. Now, I don't know all of their stories and I am not going to judge their choices. But none the less they have all chosen to permanently alter their bodies for the price of beauty and health. Losing weight is hard but it's not rocket science. Decrease caloric intake increase exercise. You're bound to loose weight if you stay consistent unless you have some other underlying medical issue. I've had doctors offer me gastric bypass for my weight loss solution BEFORE I even tried dieting or exercise. But for me and my personal situation, I am not willing to permanently alter my body just to be thinner. When I can get the same results through diet and exercise.
For the last 6 months, I've been buying healthier foods: diet food, fresh food, whole wheat and making substitutions for healthier choices wherever possible. I no longer drink cow milk but substitute for soy. Soy milk cost approximately $3.50 for a half gallon. About the same price as a whole gallon of milk. Sometimes I feel guilty for spending and buying expensive foods especially since I'm not working and money is tight. Then I think what I wouldn't pay to be thin, to be healthy and have my dream body back: an extra dollar, 50 cents at a time, or the monthly cost of my gym membership. Then I figure the money is really no big deal, so many women are surgically permanently altering their body. I'm choosing a healthier way and God is so good that he continues to provide for my family and give me the strength I need to continue my goals. So for me, the price of beauty for me is the price of good health: a good diet and exercise. Now I feel so rewarded and inspired by the changes and progress I've made - naturally.
The other day, I seen online that a women spends nearly 45,000 annually on hair extensions. Holy Cow! That enough money to support some families of 4. Just think of how much women spend on cosmetics, clothing and other beautification. Does it really give us a competitive edge to be more beautiful then the next woman? What ever happened to beauty being only skin deep?
Let me be blunt. I've been working out and dieting for just over 6 months. I've seen great results. I realized tonight that in this time I've only eaten fast food once. I stay pretty dedicated to both the gym and my diet. Most of the time I go to the gym 5 days a week, 2 hours a day. Lately, I've been really feeling burnt out. Despite my progress, despite my results and desire to make changes. I'm going to keep going though... I know it's what is best.
Every time I want to give up or think this isn't worth it I think of this. What would I pay or do to be skinny to have my dream body back? What exactly is the price of beauty. My dream body isn't something that Hollywood says is beautiful, it isn't something you would see in a centerfold of a magazine. My dream body is the best body that I can have, naturally. Ideally, it would look something like it did before I had children but my kids were worth the stretch marks and some figure changes. I can deal with that.
Many of women, including my friends have resulted to cosmetic surgery. Enhancing certain parts of their body and paying thousands of dollars for a larger bust, tummy tucks, etc. At this point in my life, cosmetic surgery isn't an option. But I do empathize with the feelings some of these people have. What I would give to have my body exactly the way I wanted it. When I think about it -- the answer is simple. Anything, ok well, almost anything. So easy cosmetic surgery seems to be, fork over some cash, see instant changes, ideal results. Yet it's so invasive. To me this is a last resort option even if that and so many women flock to this option first.
On a similar note, I've had a few friends who have had gastric bypass or other types of stomach altering surgeries. A few of these people were 40+ and extremely obese, possibly making this the best option for them. While others were young, in their 20's and overweight but not necessarily more overweight than I am or was. Now, I don't know all of their stories and I am not going to judge their choices. But none the less they have all chosen to permanently alter their bodies for the price of beauty and health. Losing weight is hard but it's not rocket science. Decrease caloric intake increase exercise. You're bound to loose weight if you stay consistent unless you have some other underlying medical issue. I've had doctors offer me gastric bypass for my weight loss solution BEFORE I even tried dieting or exercise. But for me and my personal situation, I am not willing to permanently alter my body just to be thinner. When I can get the same results through diet and exercise.
For the last 6 months, I've been buying healthier foods: diet food, fresh food, whole wheat and making substitutions for healthier choices wherever possible. I no longer drink cow milk but substitute for soy. Soy milk cost approximately $3.50 for a half gallon. About the same price as a whole gallon of milk. Sometimes I feel guilty for spending and buying expensive foods especially since I'm not working and money is tight. Then I think what I wouldn't pay to be thin, to be healthy and have my dream body back: an extra dollar, 50 cents at a time, or the monthly cost of my gym membership. Then I figure the money is really no big deal, so many women are surgically permanently altering their body. I'm choosing a healthier way and God is so good that he continues to provide for my family and give me the strength I need to continue my goals. So for me, the price of beauty for me is the price of good health: a good diet and exercise. Now I feel so rewarded and inspired by the changes and progress I've made - naturally.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Two Things
Two things I want to talk about today: Men and Working out alone. Which should I start out with? Hmmmm...
Men
I've been with Richard so long that I have no idea what flirting, dating or any thing remotely sexual is really about other than with him. When I was younger, men used to hit on me all the time. Sometimes, women too. I think it had more to do with my large bust than really with me. I was always sort of awkwardly nieve about this type of stuff. You would have to be pretty blunt for me to get it. I'm still that way to an extent. Except now, it's not really appropriate for people to be that blunt because I'm a very happily married woman. With that said, if someone of the opposite sex is friendly towards me, it's still hard for me to tell if they are just friendly or something more. Most of the time, I think they are just friendly because I am friendly. I rarely feel like someone is flirting with me. I'm pretty sure someone at the gym is flirting with me. He talks to me nearly every time he sees me, no matter how busy he is or how far away. There have been times when it was awkward for him to stop what he was doing to say hi, yet he still does. I've told Rich about this just to keep the dialog open and him aware. Today, he talked to me for a long while -not a big deal. I'm friendly and I talk a lot once you get me started. Our conversations started innocently about tanning. I've wanted to tan for a while but the rooms haven't been ready. He initiated the conversation and I asked about prices. There are two options $20 for 6 months or $50 a month no contractual limit. It being summer, and me having a pool I really only want 1-2 months of tanning to get a good base tan for summer. But $50 is really expensive for tanning so I said I would have to ask Rich. Then he responds "Does he really tell you no? I wouldn't tell you no". Made me blush a little but it's not really about Rich telling me yes or no, it's about spending a large amount of money and talking to my husband. Then he asks, "How long have you been married?" A seemingly meaningless question but I've never had a man ask me about my marriage that ACTUALLY cared that I was married. So many men have had the attitude of "Well, are you happy? OR What's that have to do with me?" So I sort of have this bias based upon previous experiences. My marriage is sacred to me. All this time, he is cutting a T-Shirt to work out in; he asked if I wanted one. He said he needed a new shirt for Summer. Seriously dude you work at a gym and only have 1 shirt. Typical guy. I said no thanks to the T-Shirt. I already have 8 workout outfits. He said, I know they're cute. So yeah... I'm pretty sure he was flirting with me. Which is flattering I guess but also awkwardly uncomfortable because he knows I'm married. I talked to Rich about the situation again because I just felt he should know. I asked Rich if it made him feel uncomfortable (because it does me) and he said, "No, because I am secure in our relationship. It would be different if I thought I had something to worry about but I trust you." Ahh... I have the best husband -- he knows just what to say.
Working Out Alone
With that said, Clare is on vacation. I miss her. Kind of weird. A few months ago I always worked out alone. It wasn't a problem and I was making progress. I started working out with Clare because she wanted a partner to do weights with. But I feel we both benefit from it because she encourages me to run and we hold each other accountable. We do Cardio kickboxing together on Mondays, Weds weights and running, often on Fridays we workout together again -depending on our schedules. So yeah Monday cardio kick wasn't the same without Clare and today, I worked out alone. Alone that was fine just a few months ago. I hit the weights hard today no problem and I even pushed myself to run the treadmill because that is what Clare would do. However, I stopped after 20 minutes. It was a good run. I ran the whole time at 5.0 and I could have ran longer BUT I just wanted to be done. I can't wait until Clare returns.
Men
I've been with Richard so long that I have no idea what flirting, dating or any thing remotely sexual is really about other than with him. When I was younger, men used to hit on me all the time. Sometimes, women too. I think it had more to do with my large bust than really with me. I was always sort of awkwardly nieve about this type of stuff. You would have to be pretty blunt for me to get it. I'm still that way to an extent. Except now, it's not really appropriate for people to be that blunt because I'm a very happily married woman. With that said, if someone of the opposite sex is friendly towards me, it's still hard for me to tell if they are just friendly or something more. Most of the time, I think they are just friendly because I am friendly. I rarely feel like someone is flirting with me. I'm pretty sure someone at the gym is flirting with me. He talks to me nearly every time he sees me, no matter how busy he is or how far away. There have been times when it was awkward for him to stop what he was doing to say hi, yet he still does. I've told Rich about this just to keep the dialog open and him aware. Today, he talked to me for a long while -not a big deal. I'm friendly and I talk a lot once you get me started. Our conversations started innocently about tanning. I've wanted to tan for a while but the rooms haven't been ready. He initiated the conversation and I asked about prices. There are two options $20 for 6 months or $50 a month no contractual limit. It being summer, and me having a pool I really only want 1-2 months of tanning to get a good base tan for summer. But $50 is really expensive for tanning so I said I would have to ask Rich. Then he responds "Does he really tell you no? I wouldn't tell you no". Made me blush a little but it's not really about Rich telling me yes or no, it's about spending a large amount of money and talking to my husband. Then he asks, "How long have you been married?" A seemingly meaningless question but I've never had a man ask me about my marriage that ACTUALLY cared that I was married. So many men have had the attitude of "Well, are you happy? OR What's that have to do with me?" So I sort of have this bias based upon previous experiences. My marriage is sacred to me. All this time, he is cutting a T-Shirt to work out in; he asked if I wanted one. He said he needed a new shirt for Summer. Seriously dude you work at a gym and only have 1 shirt. Typical guy. I said no thanks to the T-Shirt. I already have 8 workout outfits. He said, I know they're cute. So yeah... I'm pretty sure he was flirting with me. Which is flattering I guess but also awkwardly uncomfortable because he knows I'm married. I talked to Rich about the situation again because I just felt he should know. I asked Rich if it made him feel uncomfortable (because it does me) and he said, "No, because I am secure in our relationship. It would be different if I thought I had something to worry about but I trust you." Ahh... I have the best husband -- he knows just what to say.
Working Out Alone
With that said, Clare is on vacation. I miss her. Kind of weird. A few months ago I always worked out alone. It wasn't a problem and I was making progress. I started working out with Clare because she wanted a partner to do weights with. But I feel we both benefit from it because she encourages me to run and we hold each other accountable. We do Cardio kickboxing together on Mondays, Weds weights and running, often on Fridays we workout together again -depending on our schedules. So yeah Monday cardio kick wasn't the same without Clare and today, I worked out alone. Alone that was fine just a few months ago. I hit the weights hard today no problem and I even pushed myself to run the treadmill because that is what Clare would do. However, I stopped after 20 minutes. It was a good run. I ran the whole time at 5.0 and I could have ran longer BUT I just wanted to be done. I can't wait until Clare returns.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Skinnier
Half the size I used to be... that is the compliment I've been hearing most lately. It's not actually TRUE but people really seem to be noticing my weight loss. I have almost lost the same amount of weight as my 7 1/2 year old daughter. Crazy to think that I have now lost a 7 year old person.
Yet at times, I don't necessarily feel skinnier. I still battle many of the fat demons that I've had for several years. I'm getting better at it though. I am so close to my pre-pregnancy weight with Amelia. I actually feel more fit and smaller than I did then. One of my uncles came over for Easter. He asked if all I had was diet soda and of course, I responded yes. Sarcastically, he asked "How's that working out for you?" The comment made me feel belittled as if no matter what I do it's still not good enough. Me being me, pipped up and said defensively, "52lbs makes me think it's working."
Saturday we took Richard's friend and daughter to the airport. There were 6 of us packed into a truck. Normally, I would have probably stayed home but it was Rich's first day off in months and I just didn't want to spend the day away from him and he didn't want to tell his friend no. The guys always talk about hunting, I swear it's the same conversation every time we see each other post deer season. This year, opening day lands on my birthday and the same weekend I plan on doing the triathlon. In a man's world this is a big conflict of interest. I'm not sure how it's going to play out but Rich will probably miss my triathlon. Then the topic changed from hunting to working out. It's funny, I've spent 5 days a week for the last 6 months training at the gym but of course, Rich's friend tells me that it's different from being able to do something in the gym (cycling, running, etc) to doing it outside and that outside is actually a lot harder. Just because I can do it in the gym, doesn't mean I can do it outside. Which I know is partially true but really are you going to tell me that because I am in good shape at the gym, consistently building strength and endurance that I can't do that come race day? Really, the only hindrance I see between me and completing the triathlon is money and equipment. I know that I need a bike, helmet, and a wet suit at bare minimum. There will be other expenses too, hotel, entry fee etc that I will have to come up with. I'm nervous about it because I'm not working and I know it will be a struggle to come up with the money but I really want to do it. I can do it, God willing.
I really think that I am just sensitive about people's comments. Whether it be about weight of fitness. They stick with me. People at the gym keep calling me skinny, slim or say I'm melting away. I know they mean it as encouraging and complimentary but it's so hard to accept a compliment when I am still so very over weight. I really don't think I look as overweight as the scale says I am though. I am starting to look normal size. Curvy but normal size. I am happy with the changes my body is making. My figure is toning not any extra skin yet. The weight is coming off... Oh and today weigh in was a success. Lost 1 pound even with all the cadsburry eggs and delicious Easter food.
Yet at times, I don't necessarily feel skinnier. I still battle many of the fat demons that I've had for several years. I'm getting better at it though. I am so close to my pre-pregnancy weight with Amelia. I actually feel more fit and smaller than I did then. One of my uncles came over for Easter. He asked if all I had was diet soda and of course, I responded yes. Sarcastically, he asked "How's that working out for you?" The comment made me feel belittled as if no matter what I do it's still not good enough. Me being me, pipped up and said defensively, "52lbs makes me think it's working."
Saturday we took Richard's friend and daughter to the airport. There were 6 of us packed into a truck. Normally, I would have probably stayed home but it was Rich's first day off in months and I just didn't want to spend the day away from him and he didn't want to tell his friend no. The guys always talk about hunting, I swear it's the same conversation every time we see each other post deer season. This year, opening day lands on my birthday and the same weekend I plan on doing the triathlon. In a man's world this is a big conflict of interest. I'm not sure how it's going to play out but Rich will probably miss my triathlon. Then the topic changed from hunting to working out. It's funny, I've spent 5 days a week for the last 6 months training at the gym but of course, Rich's friend tells me that it's different from being able to do something in the gym (cycling, running, etc) to doing it outside and that outside is actually a lot harder. Just because I can do it in the gym, doesn't mean I can do it outside. Which I know is partially true but really are you going to tell me that because I am in good shape at the gym, consistently building strength and endurance that I can't do that come race day? Really, the only hindrance I see between me and completing the triathlon is money and equipment. I know that I need a bike, helmet, and a wet suit at bare minimum. There will be other expenses too, hotel, entry fee etc that I will have to come up with. I'm nervous about it because I'm not working and I know it will be a struggle to come up with the money but I really want to do it. I can do it, God willing.
I really think that I am just sensitive about people's comments. Whether it be about weight of fitness. They stick with me. People at the gym keep calling me skinny, slim or say I'm melting away. I know they mean it as encouraging and complimentary but it's so hard to accept a compliment when I am still so very over weight. I really don't think I look as overweight as the scale says I am though. I am starting to look normal size. Curvy but normal size. I am happy with the changes my body is making. My figure is toning not any extra skin yet. The weight is coming off... Oh and today weigh in was a success. Lost 1 pound even with all the cadsburry eggs and delicious Easter food.
Monday, April 5, 2010
Cadbury Confessions
Cadbury Carmel Eggs, a major temptation for me. I have to say, I really love the regular Cadbury eggs as well. I can't even tell you how many I ate this week. While purchasing the kids' goodies, I spotted the 12 pack of mini cadbury eggs. Of course, I had to get both the caramel and traditional. My thought process at the time was one wouldn't hurt and I could give Richard and the girls the rest. Well, sadly, I couldn't just stop at one. I did share with Rich but the girls didn't get ANY! I probably ate at least a dozen of the mini's. Then I just craved MORE! I didn't buy much candy for the girl's baskets. They each got a chocolate bunny and a few peeps. I didn't want to be too tempted by their goodies. Instead their baskets were filled with stuff to garden (flowers, pots, seeds), swimsuit, and ear rings. I went to the store last night to return a movie and decided I was going to buy another Cadbury egg. I ended up being 4 :X They were only 25 cents each. I ate 2 on the way home -- back to my old hoarding habits - so Richard wouldn't know. Then I shared one with him and ate the other. Yeah... bad I know.
Every Easter we go to the park and BBQ with our extended families. Aunts, uncles and cousins come from all over. It's sort of a family reunion and always nice to see everyone. Everyone brings delicious foods and we all share. This year, though, it was rainy and it changed our traditional plans. I had an impromptu gathering at my house - and the food came. Soda, Potato Chips, Pie... all very, very tempting. I made healthy dishes, salsa and broccoli salad. Rich wanted bean dip - so he went to the store for beans and sour cream and brought back a variety of chips. I probably had more than my fair share of bean dip and chips. To make matters worse, we have the left overs. I did send the pie home with my sister.
Mariyn is on Spring Break, I want to be on Spring Break too from my diet and exercise routine. I won't take the week off though. It's the last week before my contest ends. I was determined to get back on track with my diet today. I'm really not expecting a loss from last week after how horribly I ate this weekend. I'm so close to meeting my goal weight for the contest and I really WANT to win it. I have to stay or I should say get motivated again! I did cardio kickboxing tonight at the gym - it was packed!
Every Easter we go to the park and BBQ with our extended families. Aunts, uncles and cousins come from all over. It's sort of a family reunion and always nice to see everyone. Everyone brings delicious foods and we all share. This year, though, it was rainy and it changed our traditional plans. I had an impromptu gathering at my house - and the food came. Soda, Potato Chips, Pie... all very, very tempting. I made healthy dishes, salsa and broccoli salad. Rich wanted bean dip - so he went to the store for beans and sour cream and brought back a variety of chips. I probably had more than my fair share of bean dip and chips. To make matters worse, we have the left overs. I did send the pie home with my sister.
Mariyn is on Spring Break, I want to be on Spring Break too from my diet and exercise routine. I won't take the week off though. It's the last week before my contest ends. I was determined to get back on track with my diet today. I'm really not expecting a loss from last week after how horribly I ate this weekend. I'm so close to meeting my goal weight for the contest and I really WANT to win it. I have to stay or I should say get motivated again! I did cardio kickboxing tonight at the gym - it was packed!
Friday, April 2, 2010
Good Friday
It's Good Friday - also the official start of Spring break. I've been busy with the girls, can't really say for sure what has been keeping me so occupied but I'm sure it's a combination of the gym, softball, and spending time with them. Plus, the warmer weather keeps calling us outside. I had a good week at the gym but food temptations were tough.
Mon - Cardio Kick Boxing
Tues - Body Pump + Cycle
Weds - Weights + Running
Thurs - Zumba
Fri - Cycle + a tad bit of weights
Yesterday, I had lunch with Rich. I had a deli sandwich but as I was walking out I noticed these cute little two bite brownies. I really wanted one. After lunch I knew I was going to Mariyn's school so I figured I could bring them there and not over indulge but still be able to eat some. Mariyn loved the surprise for her class. We had a lot of extras though and I ended up over indulging I ate at least 4 maybe as many as 6. Then I looked at the calorie count - every 2 was 250 calories. They were so good, I couldn't just stop eating them like I thought I would have been able too. I think I had so many that I elevated my blood sugar because I immediately fell asleep. Amelia and I slept for probably 3 hours, I awoke at 5:30, when Zumba started! I convinced myself that I need to go to Zumba because I ate those brownies - even though I was going to be late. Then, I had a salad for dinner, hoping not to do any more damage. With Easter and Spring break- food temptations are going to be high.
Mon - Cardio Kick Boxing
Tues - Body Pump + Cycle
Weds - Weights + Running
Thurs - Zumba
Fri - Cycle + a tad bit of weights
Yesterday, I had lunch with Rich. I had a deli sandwich but as I was walking out I noticed these cute little two bite brownies. I really wanted one. After lunch I knew I was going to Mariyn's school so I figured I could bring them there and not over indulge but still be able to eat some. Mariyn loved the surprise for her class. We had a lot of extras though and I ended up over indulging I ate at least 4 maybe as many as 6. Then I looked at the calorie count - every 2 was 250 calories. They were so good, I couldn't just stop eating them like I thought I would have been able too. I think I had so many that I elevated my blood sugar because I immediately fell asleep. Amelia and I slept for probably 3 hours, I awoke at 5:30, when Zumba started! I convinced myself that I need to go to Zumba because I ate those brownies - even though I was going to be late. Then, I had a salad for dinner, hoping not to do any more damage. With Easter and Spring break- food temptations are going to be high.
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