Tuesday, November 22, 2011

the battle...

On my facebook status today, I checked in at the gym and wrote, Getting here is half the battle. One of my friends commented that for her it was more like 90% of the battle. I had to agree with her, with all the excuses and things to do in life. Showing up, is such a huge accomplishment. Putting in the efforts and getting the job done is really a side effect of being there.

As soon as I left the gym, my workout was complete and I knew my day just got a whole lot better. I was happier, and a just mentally prepared for my day.

I can't wait to go back tomorrow :)

Monday, November 14, 2011

Weighing In

I weighed myself yesterday. I've gained 30lbs this year.

I don't like that number. The weight was way too hard to lose, it's a disappointing. I did it to myself and I have no one else to blame for the damage I've done.

Yesterday was the first time in about 6 months that I've steped foot on a scale. Like so many times before, I was avoiding reality. I knew that I had gained... iI knew that I gained a lot. I was hoping to have a skinny day and weigh myself then, that was the plan. That day, just never came.

I was reading someone's blog yesterday and decided it was time. Time to just do it... Step on the scale and weigh myself. What was I waiting for? If I'm going to start over again, I need to know what the damage was and what I'm dealing with.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Finishing Dead Last

Mariyn, my 9 year old and I decided to do a local 5K on Sunday. It was a small Halloween themed run. Zumara ran it too. I didn't have anyone to watch Amelia. Rich was hunting and I really just didn't have anyone. So, instead of not participating, I decided to take her with me.... and push her in the stroller. Problem solved, right?

Well, I don't exactly have a jogging stroller. I have a britax preview. It's one step up from an umbrella stroller. Amelia is 4/2 and probably weighs 40+lbs herself+ the weight of the stroller. I see people completing runs with kids/strollers all the time. I really didn't think it would be a big deal -- at all.

Like I said, it was a small run. Very small, and well it ended up being mostly runners and very few walkers. I'm not back running yet and I knew I would be slower with the stroller, so I started toward the end of the pack. Mairyn started a lot closer to the front. Before the race, we chose a meeting point, near the finish line just incase she finished before me.

When the race began, Amelia an I took off. It was fun, but challenging. I'd never ran with her in the stroller before. She enjoyed the race. At about 1 mile, it was time for me to walk. Pushing Amelia was a lot harder than I anticipated. I decided that I would just keep going.

For the first half mile or so, I could see Mariyn but soon she had ran so far ahead that I could no longer see her. No big deal, I figured she would eventually tire out and I would be able to catch up. About the 1.5 mile mark, I noticed I was almost dead last. There was a guy behind me, dressed as a redneck runner. Iassumed he was the pacer and wasn't going to to be passing me. Amelia and I continued on our walk/run. I cracked jokes about the pacer behind me and finishing dead last. Hey, at least I was willing to move my body for the full 3.1 miles!

At first, I really wanted to catch up with the other runners/walkers. Then I thought about all the obstacles I had in front of me. No sitter, pushing a 50+lbs stroller w/ kid, while running/walking. No training. And a bum ankle. I thought about all the weight I've put back on. About how well, I used to do and where I am now.... FAT AGAIN!

I **almost** started to feel bad about things and for myself. But something in me just said, keep going. So, I did. At mile 2, I thought about my daughter. Here it was the day before Halloween and my 9 year old is running a 5K. Yeah, mine. Here is my 4 year old, participating in one too (like it or not). I still hadn't caught up with Mariyn. And you know, I was ok with that. One of my biggest reasons for wanting to lose weight was to be active with my children and teach them a healthy lifesyle. I want them to love being active. And Mariyn does!

Mariyn finishsed the run at 36 minutes and 7 seconds. More than 10 minutes ahead of me. I finished at 47 minutes 38 seconds. Probably my slowest time ever but that really isn't the point. My point is, I finished and I enjoyed a great time with BOTH of my daughters teaching them a better healthier way of life. Words can not express how proud I am of my daughter and she was proud of me, even if I finished dead last. :)