Motivation

Motivation comes from all sorts of places lately. A dedicated work out regimen, changing clothes sizes, encouragement from friends and family, results -looking into the mirror and rediscovering a body part, and over coming temptations. I've always been a very motivated person when it comes to something I want. And while, yes I would have loved to not have ever been fat I never really wanted to work hard enough to be thin, until recently. Friends, family, and even other gym go-ers have been a consistent source of encouragement, accountability and motivation. My mom calls me almost daily to listen to my tails of the gym. My husband asks how my day was, even though he knows I really only have my workout to talk about. His amazingly fit friends, have even dubbed me a "Gym Rat". The other day, I picked Mariyn up from school and a little girl about 6 years old passes me in the hall and says, Hi, I know you, you go to Gold's Gym. Amazing that even the kids in the daycare recognize me because I go so often.

People keep telling me I'm optimistic. I've always thought of myself as positive person but realistic I guess I'm ultra optimistic right now because I seem to be hearing it more and more. Despite the hundreds of miles between us, Adrienne and I hold each other accountable to our goals and motivated. Yesterday, I received The Amazing Adventures of Dietgirl in the mail from Adrienne. I just cracked the book today and I'm nearly half way through the 405 pages. It's a good easy read - and very relate-able. Thanks Adrienne :)

Speaking of optimistic - I had a moment today while on the toilet. LOL Now this isn't one of those moments where I'm gonna gross you out. I've always hated my legs. They're short, stumpy and very thick even before I was heavy they were huge muscle man legs. I call them Gladiator legs. Every once in a while, I notice a small piece of me and my old hot body coming back. You know the curvaceous little thing I once was. I've noticed in my arms, my collar bone and the curvature (spin) in my back are all sort of starting to look more familiar. Well, tonight, on the toilet I thought for a moment that my leg - the lower thigh part just above my knee was looking thinner and sort of - Dare I say it- Sexy! I ran out here in the living room with my pants down just to show Richard. He laughed and said I always had sexy legs. Now that I know was just a lie but I kissed him anyways.

Today, I took Amelia to Gymstars for playtime. She had a blast running, bouncing all over and playing with other kids her age. Afterwords, we were both worn out. I had to jam back into Oakdale though because I had a date with Claire at the gym. I was so worn out, I had a hard time concentrating and taking care of business at the gym. We did about 45 minutes of weights and 30 minutes of the treadmill. I know that sounds sort of like a lot, but I know I only did it half heartedly. I can run up to 3 minutes at a time now but today I mostly walked I did have my incline set to 3% as not to let myself be too lazy.

I'm not going to beat myself up over it though. I know I didn't eat enough before hand. I had my regular protein w/ soy milk today and a banana. It's funny, I'm actually enjoying a lot of my diet foods. For example, I would have never tried soy milk. I bought it because it was an ingredient in my hungry girl cook book. I've actually decided I really really like the vanilla soy and drink it regularly. I lavished in the semi-sweet flavor of my broccoli at dinner tonight. It's been a while since I've had a binge. I enjoy my skinny cow ice cream - but only eat one or two a week. Mariyn has reminded me that she isn't on a diet though. I know I'm teaching her healthy eating habits but I felt bad so I bought a bit of junk food for the kids: fruit snacks, zebra cakes, and I even bought them each a candy bar the other day. Guess what? I didn't touch it nor did I want to. Rich kissed me the other night and I could taste something funny on his lips. I asked if he was feeling ok because he tasted like medicine. He said he just ate a fruit snack. I'm so proud of myself for having this much self control and discipline.