skinny envy

Being a "regular" at the gym, I've had the opportunity to get to know more and more women. Many of the women in the gym are already friends or have known each other for sometime. I live in a small town, everyone knows everyone unless you didn't grow up here, like me. It's sort of nice to make friends and meet people, hear their stories, struggles and get support. There are a lot of regulars who have taken time off for summer and are just getting back into the routine again. It's nice to see them and catch up. It's kinda funny because I keep hearing how much smaller I am and being asked how much weight I've lost. I know it's not that I've been losing rapidly or anything. It's just that they haven't seen me in a while. But it's so great to have the support there.

One of my gym friends, who has been going regularly always comments how good I look and what a good job I'm doing. It feels good. She is such a sweet person. Yesterday she asked, how much weight have you lost now? I responded on not much lately, only about 65 lbs. She rolled her eyes at me and made me realize the "only". 65 pounds is a lot of weight. I know I've slowly lost about 10 or so over spring/summer and it gets me that I slacked so much during this time. I thought I would be at my goal already or **Really, REALLY** close. No, I'm still 35lbs away from my major goal and only about a month away from my goal date. Not very realistic I guess. I told her I was being harsh on myself not because what I have lost but because I hadn't continued to lose as fast as I'd like. Then I said, "Well, I know you guys are skinny so losing weight isn't the reason you come to the gym and just a few pounds would make a huge difference to you. My friend, who is probably only 5'2" confided in me that she used to be 230+ lbs and she understood where I'm coming from. I was totally shocked because she looks great. She is probably 40 or so and very nice, friendly and a beautiful lady. I've been shocked a few times by hearing skinny people who used to be former fatties. Just seeing their success is amazing and I always want to know more.

With that said, this morning I went to the gym and I had skinny envy. There was another girl there that I've talked to a bit. She knows my husbands family and has been friendly to me. She was looking so thin, compared to what she was. It's probably been 3-4 weeks since I seen her. She is a curvy girl, like me but much shorter. Her tummy was looking so flat. I was really jealous of the progress she is making. What a crappy feeling, I know. So I admit it, I own it I was jealous. But I'm glad she is doing good.

I hit the gym hard today. My legs, quads especially were sore this morning. My body was tired but since I dropped off the girls at school, I went to the gym. I did Zumba for an hour, the Spin class, then I worked on my abs for a while. I probably got in 2.5 hours. Now that I can go to the gym without the girls, I am going to take advantage of the sauna and steam room. We have a really nice sauna and steam room in the women's locker room ( I assume they have them in the men's as well) and I've wanted to relax and try it out but never have because daycare time is limited to 2 hours.