Today we had a family day. Rich took the day off to celebrate our 8th wedding anniversary (Feb 1st). Since he hasn't had anytime of since Christmas, and I know the girls really missed and needed the time with their dad, I didn't want to celebrate our anniversary alone with just the two of us. The girls had a blast in the snow, playing, sledding, and building a sort of snow man. We even shoveled the bed of the truck full of snow to bring home. It was a good, active day.
Also since Rich was home tonight I took the opportunity to go for a run. I've been wanting to run outside just to see if I could do it and if it was any easier than the treadmill. The results are:
A - I can run
B- I am slow
C - It was easier than the treadmill
D - I can only improve from here.
I ran (and walked) 1.11 miles flat, down hill and back up hill). I used mapquest to figure out my mileage. I ran as far as I could then, I looked at the address of the house when I could run no further. Came home map quested it my first sprint was .36 miles. Not too bad, much better than I've been able to do on the treadmill. Also, the hill I ran up was pretty steep, I was hoping to make it to the top running but gave in 3/4 of the way. My total time today was 15 minutes. Not too good but like I said, I can only improve from here. I've decided that I am going to run outside more often. My biggest hurdle is having someone to watch my girls because Richard works so much. I've decided that I am going to try to run the track at the high school. I know I can take my girls out there and they can play in the middle while I run. It's not as interesting as the street but I am hoping it will be better than the results I am getting then the treadmill. Now I just need to fit it in my schedule and make it part of my routine.
Oh and I can't find my food journal - 2 days now. It's probably under this mess I call my desk. Ughh. I haven't followed my diet as stringent. I'm afraid it's going to affect weigh in. I've still been making healthy choices but I know we ate out 3 times this week. Tuesday night we had Chinese food. I ate small portions and didn't get anything deep fried. Tried to focus on veggies. Friday night we went to Quiznos because I didn't cook dinner. I ordered a torpedo sandwhich - to keep my calories down. Today we had lunch at La Morenita in Cold Springs. I ordered fresco tacos with pork. They came with 2 soft corn tortillas on each taco, rice and beans. I ate both Tacos but only 2 of the 4 tortillas and half the rice and beans. I needed to eat and didn't prepare any food to bring with us to the snow. I feel like I have Crisco stuck to the top of my mouth. YUCK! I'm enjoying my diet of fresh fruits, veggies and homemade cooking. I never thought I would get to the point where my food taste better than eating out but most of the time it does.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Today was January Fitness Jam - 6 mini classes (Step Aerobics, Cardio Kick boxing, Zumba, Body Pump, Pilate, and Yoga) 15 minutes each for 1 1/2 hour work out. Friends and family were free to come to this event. So I brought my mom along. I've already done enough this week, but there aren't too many times we are allowed to have a free guest and I know she would enjoy it. It really was a lot of fun. The step and yoga classes are really the only ones I hadn't tried at Gold's. I'm still not a fan of step (mostly because I'm afraid of injuring myself) but I was surprised by how much I enjoyed Yoga. The girls were happy to see their Nanny.
One thing I love to do on a Saturday morning is to make breakfast for my family, if possible. During the week, we are so rushed to get off and ready for school (or work) that it's hard to get a nice sit down breakfast. Plus I've been wanting to try some of the recipes in my hungry girl cook book. Today,I made the banana pancake mini's with morning star sausage. Don't worry, it's vegetarian (lower calories) the girls loved it and couldn't tell the difference. I did however, over cook my pancakes just a tad but still edible. I'm bad about that ;-)
The recipe says it will make 5 mini pancakes for a single serving of 185 calories. I doubled up the ingredients to make for the girls and myself. It only poured 8 not 10 mini pancakes. The original recipe as follows:
1/4 cup whole wheat flour
1/4 cup mashes ripe banana
3 tablespoons fat=free liquid egg substitute
1 tablespoon light vanilla soy milk
1/4 teaspoon baking powder
1/8 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 no-calorie sweetener packet
Dash salt
Dash cinnamon
In a small bowl, combine all dry ingredients (flour, baking powder, sweetener, salt and cinnamon) until mixed well.
In a separate bowl combine mashed banana with all wet ingredients (egg substitute, soymilk, and vanilla extract) until mixed thoroughly.
Combine dry and wet ingredients and stir thoroughly.
Spray large pan with nonstick spray and bring to medium heat. Pour batter into the pan (form 5 mini pancakes) Once pancakes begin to look solid, flip gently. Cook time approx 1 min per side or until both sides are lightly browned and insides are cooked through.
One thing I love to do on a Saturday morning is to make breakfast for my family, if possible. During the week, we are so rushed to get off and ready for school (or work) that it's hard to get a nice sit down breakfast. Plus I've been wanting to try some of the recipes in my hungry girl cook book. Today,I made the banana pancake mini's with morning star sausage. Don't worry, it's vegetarian (lower calories) the girls loved it and couldn't tell the difference. I did however, over cook my pancakes just a tad but still edible. I'm bad about that ;-)
The recipe says it will make 5 mini pancakes for a single serving of 185 calories. I doubled up the ingredients to make for the girls and myself. It only poured 8 not 10 mini pancakes. The original recipe as follows:
1/4 cup whole wheat flour
1/4 cup mashes ripe banana
3 tablespoons fat=free liquid egg substitute
1 tablespoon light vanilla soy milk
1/4 teaspoon baking powder
1/8 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 no-calorie sweetener packet
Dash salt
Dash cinnamon
In a small bowl, combine all dry ingredients (flour, baking powder, sweetener, salt and cinnamon) until mixed well.
In a separate bowl combine mashed banana with all wet ingredients (egg substitute, soymilk, and vanilla extract) until mixed thoroughly.
Combine dry and wet ingredients and stir thoroughly.
Spray large pan with nonstick spray and bring to medium heat. Pour batter into the pan (form 5 mini pancakes) Once pancakes begin to look solid, flip gently. Cook time approx 1 min per side or until both sides are lightly browned and insides are cooked through.
Friday, January 29, 2010
Tears
I feel so defeated, I can't help but cry. I've been crying for a while now, my head is full of negative self talk. I'm trying to combat ti with words of faith. I'm just so dissappointed in myself and in my body.
I got up to go to Zumba today. I knew we were going to have a substitute instructor but it's my Friday work out and I really enjoy it so much. Apparently, they couldn't find a Zumba instructor for today so it was going to be hip-hop instead. I really love to dance so it doesn't matter much to me, except I know I'm going to burn more calories at Zumba. He didn't do any type of warm up and went straight to the routine. In hip hop, they teach you one rountine and really break it down for you into 8 counts. The guy was fun, the routine looked fun but it had A LOT of boucing or one leg movements. After about 20 mins my knees started to really feel it. After 30 minutes, I decided to give up. I don't want to injure myself. My knees are popping with just about every 8 count. I grabbed my stuff and walked out of the class - the other regulars looked at me but I just couldn't take the pain any longer.
After leaving I felt so defeated. I knew I was going to start crying. I hurried myself into the locker room and locked myself in a bathroom stall, sat and cried a good cry for about 10 minutes. I know I've already put over 9 hours in at the gym this week. I am showing great progress both physically as well as in endurance, balance and abilities. But that doesn't mean anything to me when I'm upset and listening to the negative self talk in my head. I swear I looked in the mirror and I just seen this disgusting obese person. Then I'm asking myself why am I even trying - it's not going to make a difference. I have mascara down my face and I just want to go home. I don't want anyone to know I was crying - but it's obvious. I decided to use the hand soap to wash the mascara off my face. I get Amelia and get in the car. I am so upset at this point and completely emotional. I feel this intense hunger pain. I mean intense, and I know it's because I'm upset. I can recognize it, I just want to eat anything and everything. I call my mom for support - I really need encouragement at this point. She doesn't answer, so I hung up.
I just start praying in my head for God to help me. I know I have nothing to be ashamed of or feel defeated by. I've done so good thus far. I'm not giving up. I remember about the bible verse I learned at Bible study a few weeks ago:
No temptation has taken you except what is common to man. God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted above what you are able,but will with the temptation also make the way of escape, that you maybe able to endure it. - Corinthians 10:13
I just plead with God. I came home, begin to blog. My mom calls me back. I'm crying so hard she can barely understand why I'm upset. I know she doesn't really get it but she tried to comfort me as best as she could. My mom has always been a skinny person. A very skinny and vain person. Exact opposite from Kelly and myself. She is 50 now, and gained some weight after her hysterectomy a few years ago so she relates better now than ever before. She has been encouraging me and been supportive of my progress. I've calmed down now. I wanted to share this hurdle with you. I know this is a mental demon that many over weight people face. I am not alone - I'm not the only one who has faced it. I can with God's help conquer my goals and succeed. It's almost noon now. I'm suppose to meet Claire for weights. Hopefully, I can get some of those good feeling endorphins.
Thanks for your support.
I got up to go to Zumba today. I knew we were going to have a substitute instructor but it's my Friday work out and I really enjoy it so much. Apparently, they couldn't find a Zumba instructor for today so it was going to be hip-hop instead. I really love to dance so it doesn't matter much to me, except I know I'm going to burn more calories at Zumba. He didn't do any type of warm up and went straight to the routine. In hip hop, they teach you one rountine and really break it down for you into 8 counts. The guy was fun, the routine looked fun but it had A LOT of boucing or one leg movements. After about 20 mins my knees started to really feel it. After 30 minutes, I decided to give up. I don't want to injure myself. My knees are popping with just about every 8 count. I grabbed my stuff and walked out of the class - the other regulars looked at me but I just couldn't take the pain any longer.
After leaving I felt so defeated. I knew I was going to start crying. I hurried myself into the locker room and locked myself in a bathroom stall, sat and cried a good cry for about 10 minutes. I know I've already put over 9 hours in at the gym this week. I am showing great progress both physically as well as in endurance, balance and abilities. But that doesn't mean anything to me when I'm upset and listening to the negative self talk in my head. I swear I looked in the mirror and I just seen this disgusting obese person. Then I'm asking myself why am I even trying - it's not going to make a difference. I have mascara down my face and I just want to go home. I don't want anyone to know I was crying - but it's obvious. I decided to use the hand soap to wash the mascara off my face. I get Amelia and get in the car. I am so upset at this point and completely emotional. I feel this intense hunger pain. I mean intense, and I know it's because I'm upset. I can recognize it, I just want to eat anything and everything. I call my mom for support - I really need encouragement at this point. She doesn't answer, so I hung up.
I just start praying in my head for God to help me. I know I have nothing to be ashamed of or feel defeated by. I've done so good thus far. I'm not giving up. I remember about the bible verse I learned at Bible study a few weeks ago:
No temptation has taken you except what is common to man. God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted above what you are able,but will with the temptation also make the way of escape, that you maybe able to endure it. - Corinthians 10:13
I just plead with God. I came home, begin to blog. My mom calls me back. I'm crying so hard she can barely understand why I'm upset. I know she doesn't really get it but she tried to comfort me as best as she could. My mom has always been a skinny person. A very skinny and vain person. Exact opposite from Kelly and myself. She is 50 now, and gained some weight after her hysterectomy a few years ago so she relates better now than ever before. She has been encouraging me and been supportive of my progress. I've calmed down now. I wanted to share this hurdle with you. I know this is a mental demon that many over weight people face. I am not alone - I'm not the only one who has faced it. I can with God's help conquer my goals and succeed. It's almost noon now. I'm suppose to meet Claire for weights. Hopefully, I can get some of those good feeling endorphins.
Thanks for your support.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Energy
Thursdays are fun days. Zumba with Adrianna is my favorite class. High Energy, Great moves, and good music. I got to the gym today at about 4:30, decided to hit the weights and I really challenged myself to add more weight on several machines. I set the intimidator to 100lbs. The intimidator is the assisted chin up machine, and whatever weight you have it set at basically off-sets your weight. So because I weigh 220+ lbs and I set the weight at 100lbs really means I can now do a chin up with the weight of 120lbs (a healthy weight for a person of 5'4" but not a weight I think I will personally ever see). When I started doing the intimidator, I started with it offsetting 140lbs and it was a challenge. Just in this short amount of time, I'm seeing huge progress. I strained my shoulder on one of the machines today, I'm not really sure what but it hurts.
Before I went to the gym, I was really sluggish and nearly out of energy. I could even hear the negative self talk in my head telling me I should take the day off, that I've earned it. I'm not sure if I didn't eat enough today or if I waited to long to eat. I had a busy afternoon, but I knew I was tired. Yesterday, I got an XS energy drink from my friend. Normally, I don't do energy drinks, soda, or even coffee. Right now, I'm on a water and 1 glass of milk per day (with my protein) diet. But it was given to me to sample and I was sluggish heading to the gym so I drank it on the way. It's a no sugar, no caffeine all vitamin energy drink, it tasted just like green tea. Bonus, it had only 12 calories! I didn't feel jittery or really even notice the effects until after I did my weights. I had a ton of energy in Zumba, much more than normal. Granit, I know I love Zumba and the endorphins were kicking in but I really did feel great. I think even other people, including the instructor noticed. Considering I spent 2 hours working out hard, I should have been tired when I was done. Nope, came home made dinner, gave the girls a bath and went to Petco.
Oh and I got compliments again today on how good I look from people at the gym. Feels great to see results and have other people notice. I'm trying to get Rich to take an updated picture of me so I can share. Hopefully, soon!
Before I went to the gym, I was really sluggish and nearly out of energy. I could even hear the negative self talk in my head telling me I should take the day off, that I've earned it. I'm not sure if I didn't eat enough today or if I waited to long to eat. I had a busy afternoon, but I knew I was tired. Yesterday, I got an XS energy drink from my friend. Normally, I don't do energy drinks, soda, or even coffee. Right now, I'm on a water and 1 glass of milk per day (with my protein) diet. But it was given to me to sample and I was sluggish heading to the gym so I drank it on the way. It's a no sugar, no caffeine all vitamin energy drink, it tasted just like green tea. Bonus, it had only 12 calories! I didn't feel jittery or really even notice the effects until after I did my weights. I had a ton of energy in Zumba, much more than normal. Granit, I know I love Zumba and the endorphins were kicking in but I really did feel great. I think even other people, including the instructor noticed. Considering I spent 2 hours working out hard, I should have been tired when I was done. Nope, came home made dinner, gave the girls a bath and went to Petco.
Oh and I got compliments again today on how good I look from people at the gym. Feels great to see results and have other people notice. I'm trying to get Rich to take an updated picture of me so I can share. Hopefully, soon!
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Ibuprofen
Despite working out really hard, I haven't been sore in months. My body gets tired, I might feel week but I haven't had the my muscles are sore and achy at all lately. Today was an Ibuprofen day. Yeah, I was that sore! As much as I hate being sore, I loved it. I know I got a great work out yesterday.
Today I decided to take it a little bit easier at the gym. Claire, from the daycare, has been doing weights with me. She is good company and we've set another weight date for Friday. Since it's my lower body that is sore, I worked my abs and upper body (chest, arms and back)today. There is a new machine that works the middle/lower portion - AMAZING it felt so good on my back. literally took any tension or stress that has been building up away. I want to take Rich to the gym just so he can try it.
After weights, I walk/jogged the treadmill for 30 mins with an incline varying between 2-5%. I always struggle so much with the treadmill and want to give up. It's really the only piece of equipment in the gym that intimidates me so. Claire was able to jog the treadmill for nearly the whole 30 mins. I probably would have given up had she not been my pacing buddy today. I really appreciate having someone there to pace myself with.
Today I decided to take it a little bit easier at the gym. Claire, from the daycare, has been doing weights with me. She is good company and we've set another weight date for Friday. Since it's my lower body that is sore, I worked my abs and upper body (chest, arms and back)today. There is a new machine that works the middle/lower portion - AMAZING it felt so good on my back. literally took any tension or stress that has been building up away. I want to take Rich to the gym just so he can try it.
After weights, I walk/jogged the treadmill for 30 mins with an incline varying between 2-5%. I always struggle so much with the treadmill and want to give up. It's really the only piece of equipment in the gym that intimidates me so. Claire was able to jog the treadmill for nearly the whole 30 mins. I probably would have given up had she not been my pacing buddy today. I really appreciate having someone there to pace myself with.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Inspiration vs. Perspiration
"Therefore I say to you, whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them." - Mark 11:24
I want so badly to change my body - to change my life. But I know inspiration will only take me so far. You can't expect changes if you don't change. I know this and as you can tell am making changes. I've always known I can loose the weight - if I really wanted to. I just never was dedicated enough to do so. This time, it's different. I've changed, I've asked God to help me and I am putting in the work to make the changes I want to see not only in my body but in my life. I'm seeing progress for all the perspiration and the results are awesome!
For the third week in a row, I was determined to make it to body pump at 8:30. Knowing the hurdles I've faced the last couple of weeks, I wanted to get there early to make sure I got a ticket. I decided last night that I would lay out all of our clothes for the day and Amelia and I would get dressed before we take Mariyn to school. It seemed to work, Amelia was excited to be going somewhere and put up little resistance (except for brushing her teeth). We got to the gym at 8:05, early enough to get a ticket for body pump. The class was packed, it was amazing. So many women motivated to make changes. I know that a lot of them are probably resolutioners but they've hung in this far and it was 8:30 am - you know they are trying! Ticka taught Body Pump this morning. Looking at her, it's intimidating just to think of what type of class she teaches. I swear this woman is pure muscle she has an amazing body. After taking her cardio kickboxing I realized she is not intimidating at all and she is actually there to help empower and encourage woman - she thrives off of it. She has been such a blessing to me. I just want to tell her Thank you so much. Someday, when I'm not pouring down in sweat I will.
My body was tired this morning - I think I stopped being sore a long time ago and now my body just feels tired. I pushed through body pump though and I am so proud of myself for it. Immediately after body pump, I took Spin with Ticka. It's a great combo back to back. I want to make it part of my weekly routine. I'm not going to lie, it was tough. I'm tired but I feel great --so accomplished!
It's weigh in Tuesday, right? On the trainers' scale -- 225.2 lbs! Another 3lbs gone forever. 33lbs lost (and not to be found, lol) total! I am really satisfied and proud of this weeks weight loss. I really believe that I am going to reach my goal weight and be healthy. Glory to God for all his support!
I want so badly to change my body - to change my life. But I know inspiration will only take me so far. You can't expect changes if you don't change. I know this and as you can tell am making changes. I've always known I can loose the weight - if I really wanted to. I just never was dedicated enough to do so. This time, it's different. I've changed, I've asked God to help me and I am putting in the work to make the changes I want to see not only in my body but in my life. I'm seeing progress for all the perspiration and the results are awesome!
For the third week in a row, I was determined to make it to body pump at 8:30. Knowing the hurdles I've faced the last couple of weeks, I wanted to get there early to make sure I got a ticket. I decided last night that I would lay out all of our clothes for the day and Amelia and I would get dressed before we take Mariyn to school. It seemed to work, Amelia was excited to be going somewhere and put up little resistance (except for brushing her teeth). We got to the gym at 8:05, early enough to get a ticket for body pump. The class was packed, it was amazing. So many women motivated to make changes. I know that a lot of them are probably resolutioners but they've hung in this far and it was 8:30 am - you know they are trying! Ticka taught Body Pump this morning. Looking at her, it's intimidating just to think of what type of class she teaches. I swear this woman is pure muscle she has an amazing body. After taking her cardio kickboxing I realized she is not intimidating at all and she is actually there to help empower and encourage woman - she thrives off of it. She has been such a blessing to me. I just want to tell her Thank you so much. Someday, when I'm not pouring down in sweat I will.
My body was tired this morning - I think I stopped being sore a long time ago and now my body just feels tired. I pushed through body pump though and I am so proud of myself for it. Immediately after body pump, I took Spin with Ticka. It's a great combo back to back. I want to make it part of my weekly routine. I'm not going to lie, it was tough. I'm tired but I feel great --so accomplished!
It's weigh in Tuesday, right? On the trainers' scale -- 225.2 lbs! Another 3lbs gone forever. 33lbs lost (and not to be found, lol) total! I am really satisfied and proud of this weeks weight loss. I really believe that I am going to reach my goal weight and be healthy. Glory to God for all his support!
Monday, January 25, 2010
Exciting News
We've started week 3 in the Gold's Gym Know Your Own Strength competition! Tomorrow, I plan to ask how many people actually signed up. Originally, they said they were going to take sign ups until today. I really feel like I've been making great progress, physically getting in better shape. My body feels so healthy -it's just covered with extra weight (FAT). I'm still food journaling - Day 15 - WOO WOO! I really didn't think that I could food journal but I did it. It's less challenging than it was and it's helpful because I can look back and see what I did right - or wrong food wise. Just as I am using this blog as a tool - it helps me keep track.
It wasn't hard to get up and go to the gym today. I had a "date" at the gym with Claire, she works in the gym daycare. She's been wanting to workout with the weight machines for a while now but was too shy to go out and do it alone. Yep - and she works there! So ladies, don't feel bad about being self conscious. I told Claire last week that we could do it together and we made a date. It was nice to have someone to work out with and I enjoyed helping her out. She is so great with Amelia and she has a killer British accent. We hit the weights for about an hour during the day and we both do cardio kickboxing on Monday nights. I had a great workout - endorphins are high but my right knee is a little sore.
Monday nights we have salad for dinner. I want to get the best weigh in possible on Tuesday. I swear my whole family is dieting because I am. I don't feel too bad though, I'm preparing dinner for all of us and teaching my girls healthy eating habits. It really won't hurt anyone to eat healthier. I swear, both Rich and Mariyn are looking a bit thinner. Tonight though, Rich asked what's for dinner. He already knew what I planned on making though - it was one of those type of questions that was more like a plead for anything but a salad. I decided to be nice and told him we could go out to eat. We went to Cafe Bravo, my favorite Mexican restaurant. I got a delicious, Mexican Shrimp and Chicken Cesar Salad. I made a good choice, I love the shrimp and grilled chicken - so yumm!
Oh and the exciting news! Mariyn brought home a Registration form for a walk/run benefiting the educational foundation. You can do a mile or a 5k and the cost is only $25 and is on March 20th, just before the end of my competition @ Gold's. I think it will be a good activity that I can easily accomplish. A 5K is just over 3 miles, I'm sure I can do it! Bonus is I already have a friend who said she is going to do it too :) I'm super excited!
It wasn't hard to get up and go to the gym today. I had a "date" at the gym with Claire, she works in the gym daycare. She's been wanting to workout with the weight machines for a while now but was too shy to go out and do it alone. Yep - and she works there! So ladies, don't feel bad about being self conscious. I told Claire last week that we could do it together and we made a date. It was nice to have someone to work out with and I enjoyed helping her out. She is so great with Amelia and she has a killer British accent. We hit the weights for about an hour during the day and we both do cardio kickboxing on Monday nights. I had a great workout - endorphins are high but my right knee is a little sore.
Monday nights we have salad for dinner. I want to get the best weigh in possible on Tuesday. I swear my whole family is dieting because I am. I don't feel too bad though, I'm preparing dinner for all of us and teaching my girls healthy eating habits. It really won't hurt anyone to eat healthier. I swear, both Rich and Mariyn are looking a bit thinner. Tonight though, Rich asked what's for dinner. He already knew what I planned on making though - it was one of those type of questions that was more like a plead for anything but a salad. I decided to be nice and told him we could go out to eat. We went to Cafe Bravo, my favorite Mexican restaurant. I got a delicious, Mexican Shrimp and Chicken Cesar Salad. I made a good choice, I love the shrimp and grilled chicken - so yumm!
Oh and the exciting news! Mariyn brought home a Registration form for a walk/run benefiting the educational foundation. You can do a mile or a 5k and the cost is only $25 and is on March 20th, just before the end of my competition @ Gold's. I think it will be a good activity that I can easily accomplish. A 5K is just over 3 miles, I'm sure I can do it! Bonus is I already have a friend who said she is going to do it too :) I'm super excited!
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