I woke up...

Yesterday, I woke up and I was ticked. Not just angry... but really pissed off. I'm not sure why in particular but I know I've been easily irritable lately and down right mad the last several days or so. As I woke up, my sweet husband tried to cuddle me. I didn't want to cuddle. I was mad. I wanted to be left alone. I thought about all I had to do, and how I needed to shower. But I was so angry. I needed to run. I wanted to run.

No excuses. I just had to do it. I wasn't going to wait until later, why? later probably wouldn't come. So I got out of bed, put on my running clothes, laced up my new shoes, found my ipod and took off.

I thought about a lot of things while running. I thought about how irritable I've been lately. I've been cranky, ticked off, angry and really just down right pissed! I can't really express why just so many reasons and so many excuses. I thought about how bad I miss my healthy lifestyle, my healthy body and all the weight I've gained back. I've wanted to start over again so many times. I've purchased new running gear, new shoes. New running pants and new running shorts. I've really wanted to start over. But I didn't.



You know why? I can't seem to really figure it all out but I think it basically boils down to this... PRIDE. All my excuses since I've been healed revolve around pride and embarrassment. It's like the weight keeps coming on and on but I keep ignoring it like the problem isn't there but it is. I am really starting over this time though. In more ways than one. I'm starting over in my exercise and running routine. For health reasons, for weight reasons and for my own mental health reasons. And really, I'm starting over with my weight loss too. I've gained approx 50 of the 75 lbs that I lost back.



But you know what? I learned lessons from my past too. Including this... I can try again AND I already have the knowledge of everything my body is capable of doing. I can do this. I know what it takes. I also know what caused my long time train wreck.

So, I ran yesterday. I ran until I couldn't run anymore. It was probably a 1/2 mile. It could have been less... but then I walked caught my breath and ran again. I ended up run walking 2.6 miles according to my new Nike+ sensor. I was proud of myself, but embarrassed and ashamed at the same time. The whole time I ran, I thought about how far I had come, and where I am at now. I just needed that one run to prove to myself, I am the same self motivated person I've always been. I can be the person I want to be and I am working on it... starting NOW!


Did I mention, I signed up for a mudrun? It's a 3.5 mile run on April 21st. I signed up last week sometime. So, now I have a goal to work towards and a TON of friends who are doing it with me.

I met up with several friends last night and my friend Frankie and I decided to run together today. We're both needing to train. She came over tonight to run with me. I always tell her she is the younger blonde skinny version of myself. We really have a lot in common but she is 12 years younger than me. Anyways, we ran more than 5 miles tonight. We ran walked but we ran more than we walked and I was able to completely run the first mile. Mariyn, my 9 year old daughter, ran the first 2.6 mile with us. Well, actually, she made me eat her dust for 2.6 miles before she decided she was done running.

2 great runs, 2 days in a row. I WILL be sore tomorrow, I can say, I'm getting back on track! <3

Finishing Dead Last

Mariyn, my 9 year old and I decided to do a local 5K on Sunday. It was a small Halloween themed run. Zumara ran it too. I didn't have anyone to watch Amelia. Rich was hunting and I really just didn't have anyone. So, instead of not participating, I decided to take her with me.... and push her in the stroller. Problem solved, right?



Well, I don't exactly have a jogging stroller. I have a britax preview. It's one step up from an umbrella stroller. Amelia is 4/2 and probably weighs 40+lbs herself+ the weight of the stroller. I see people completing runs with kids/strollers all the time. I really didn't think it would be a big deal -- at all.

Like I said, it was a small run. Very small, and well it ended up being mostly runners and very few walkers. I'm not back running yet and I knew I would be slower with the stroller, so I started toward the end of the pack. Mairyn started a lot closer to the front. Before the race, we chose a meeting point, near the finish line just incase she finished before me.

When the race began, Amelia an I took off. It was fun, but challenging. I'd never ran with her in the stroller before. She enjoyed the race. At about 1 mile, it was time for me to walk. Pushing Amelia was a lot harder than I anticipated. I decided that I would just keep going.

For the first half mile or so, I could see Mariyn but soon she had ran so far ahead that I could no longer see her. No big deal, I figured she would eventually tire out and I would be able to catch up. About the 1.5 mile mark, I noticed I was almost dead last. There was a guy behind me, dressed as a redneck runner. Iassumed he was the pacer and wasn't going to to be passing me. Amelia and I continued on our walk/run. I cracked jokes about the pacer behind me and finishing dead last. Hey, at least I was willing to move my body for the full 3.1 miles!





At first, I really wanted to catch up with the other runners/walkers. Then I thought about all the obstacles I had in front of me. No sitter, pushing a 50+lbs stroller w/ kid, while running/walking. No training. And a bum ankle. I thought about all the weight I've put back on. About how well, I used to do and where I am now.... FAT AGAIN!

I **almost** started to feel bad about things and for myself. But something in me just said, keep going. So, I did. At mile 2, I thought about my daughter. Here it was the day before Halloween and my 9 year old is running a 5K. Yeah, mine. Here is my 4 year old, participating in one too (like it or not). I still hadn't caught up with Mariyn. And you know, I was ok with that. One of my biggest reasons for wanting to lose weight was to be active with my children and teach them a healthy lifesyle. I want them to love being active. And Mariyn does!

Mariyn finishsed the run at 36 minutes and 7 seconds. More than 10 minutes ahead of me. I finished at 47 minutes 38 seconds. Probably my slowest time ever but that really isn't the point. My point is, I finished and I enjoyed a great time with BOTH of my daughters teaching them a better healthier way of life. Words can not express how proud I am of my daughter and she was proud of me, even if I finished dead last. :)

The Good...

What have I been up the last several months?

The Good . . .
We've opened our own business and so far, I'd consider it a huge blessing and a success. I have been playing softball at least 4 nights a week. So, I am active. I'm having fun. Despite reinjuring my ankle, I've completed a few runs, Wharf to Wharf and my first Half Marathon at Nike Women's Marathon. Both events were a blast!



July 24, 2011. Zumara and I at the start line for Wharf to Wharf, a 6 mile road race with 15,000 runners plus massive amounts of people enjoying the party atmosphere and scenic views of Santa Cruz, Capitola and the Pacific Ocean.

October 16, 2011 - Nike Women's Marathon 13.1 half marathon finisher! Celebrating my finish in the finiser's area in front of the I run to be sign...

The Bad . . .

Other than softball, I haven't exercised regularly. I have a TON of excuses. But I realize they are just that, excuses. My schedule, my re-injured ankle, my fear of re-re-injuring myself, exhaustion, work, lack of motivation and on and on. Bottom line is, they are all excuses and they are all bad. Some of course, more ligitatmat then others but still...

Yeah, I know I told you I just completed two really big races and goals of mine this summer. I did FINISH them. One foot in front of the other, I moved my body for the 6 mile journey between Capitola and Santa Cruz and Ienjoyed every minute of it. However, notice I said moved my body. I did not say run. I ran maybe only 2 of the 6 miles. This was primarily due to injury. I re-injured my ankle running approximately 2 weeks before Wharf to Wharf. I'm glad I'm glad I participated, I'm glad I finished. But I can not claim that I RAN the entire 6 miles.

Let me get this out now. I'm a brand snob. I don't mean to be necessarily but you throw a Nike logo on something and I immediately think it's gonna make me run faster, jump harder, swim farther, and JUST DO IT better, then without the logo. HaHA corney, I know. So for me, The Nike Women's Marathon (NWM) was sort of an "Ultimate Dream Race" to me. Only in my dreams did I think I would have been chosen or had the opportunity to run in Nike. My Weak ankles (READ EXCUSES) made it very difficult to train or want to run. Other than around the bases at softball, I did not run from July until NWM. Bad choice. The vistas were phenomenal and the overall experience was good. There are some things I have to be truthful about. I ran walked the first 5-6 miles. My running pace was slow. I finished in just under 4 hours (literally, seconds under 4 hours). But I moved my body 13.1 miles and FINISHED! Which is more than I can say I would have done 2 years ago.

The Ugly...

Excercise isn't the only way to lose weight. We all know diet is the most important factor in weight loss. If you eat healthy good portions and watch your calories you will lose weight. The fact is, I struggle to do that. Most over weight people do. With that, I can really do well with my eating when I'm exercising. The sad fact of the matter is, when I'm not exercising, I don't watch what I eat.... BIG Mistake.

Along with that, I know I've gained weight. I haven't steped on a scale and to be honest I'm not ready to. I can still fit into my clothes but they don't look the same on me, and some really just don't "fit" even though I can get my body in them. That much junk should not be in the trunk, if you you know what I mean. ;-) I'm pretty sure my body could no longer fit into ANY size 10. I'm definately pushing a 12/14 (again) and dreading buying clothes.

Apparently, I've gained so much that my husband seen this picture taken in January...

And he did not RECOGNIZE me! He asked WHO it was? Shocking, I know. The man I have been with for nearly 12 years DID not recognize me in a pic that was 10 months old. Yeah, 10 month off = no GOOD for the body. He is pretty much beggining me to go back to the gym. Not for the physical benefits but for the health factor and mental benefits to our relationship, my self and our family.

So, now that I've confessed all of my sins: the Good, the Bad and the Ugly. Get ready for the days ahead. The good news is, it gets better, Folk's!

Update...

Where to start, where to start. So much has happened in life lately that I don't even know where to begin to update. I guess, I'll start where I left off.

I completed the Women's Fitness Festival 5K, running! It almost killed me because I am so out of shape. But it was fun and I felt so successful doing it. I enjoyed the fitness festival and got a few pics.

I've been running still, gotten up to 5.5 miles of run/walking. With Zumara. We were squeezing in our runs a few days a week. I really love running. We have Wharf to Wharf coming up soon, July 24th. It's going to be spectucular.





I finally weighed myself. It was the first time in MONTHS that I stepped on the scale. The scale was very honest with me and my slacker ways. I've gained a few pounds. I already knew this by the way my clothes fit. And, how hard it's been to get back in the routine. I'm not really happy about it but I know it's my choices that have gotten me here.





So now, it's time for good news and bad news...





Good news is, we opened our own business. Our towing company is finally up and running and on rotations with local law enforcement agencies. Unfortunately, this is giving me less free time to focus on other things. But I hope that changes as our business grows.








Bad news is, last night I twisted my ankle while running. The same ankle that I injured a while back. It will be my last run for a while. My ankle is swollen, stiff and sore. It's not hurting too bad, I can tell it's not a major injury like last time but it's not in good shape either. It looks nasty right now. So what does this mean to me? A huge set back. I highly doubt I will be able to run wharf to wharf. I was really looking forward to it. Instead, if I am able, I will walk wharf to wharf. It also means, a huge set back in training for the Nike Women's Marathon. I'm hoping to heal in a few weeks and to be back to running. Ultimately, I know my running days are numbered and my ankle will always be prone to injury/re-injury. I'm hoping my body holds up for Nike...

Running with my girls

Mariyn started softball camp today. I had so much fun watching her. She practiced her little heart out for 3 hours. She came home and told her dad how much fun she had. It was awesome.


We were all in the living room tonight, when Mariyn asked me to go for a run with her. We ran to her school and back, looping around our neighborhood. It was just over 1 mile. Mariyn ran the whole time and did not complain. She enjoyed it. How many 8 year olds, like to run? Mine does :) Ok, well, she is almost 9 but still. Make my heart happy to know I'm giving her a good example and habbits for a healthy, active lifestyle.

When Amelia, my 4 year old, heard we were going running, she wanted to go too. I knew she couldn't make the whole mile, so I told her we would take her when we got back. She was a little dissappointed. But that was short lived when we got back home and she was ready to go. I wasn't sure how far Amelia could run, so I figured at most we would run/walk around our block. At least, down the street. Amelia, ran all around our entire block. It's nearly a half mile! We sang our ABC's and counted the whole way. She was very cute and had lots of fun.

I know everyone is proud of their kids (or should be) but it really does give me a lot of joy to see them engage in an active lifestyle. It makes me feel as if I'm doing something right, even if I am still over weight. I'm giving them a love for fitness that will help them live longer, happier and healthier throughout their life. My heart is full <3

Slippery Slope

I've noticed my dieting and life style change has quickly gone out the window. I haven't weighed my self in months! I'm still wearing the same size clothes as I was but they do not fit the same. How did this happen, you might ask?

It's a slippery slope. After my injury, I slowly allowed junk back into my diet. A brownie here, something chocolate and delicious there. Eating out.. because I was too lazy/stressed/busy to cook. Depression set in, more bad eating choices. Portions got larger. Choices got poorer.

We've even gotten into the habit of eating fast food. Drinking soda. I've made cupcakes twice this week! And eaten more than my fair share.

I'm not willing to give up every food I love to loose weight. But I'm not willing to go back to where I was either. I can easily see, how continuing like this can be dissasterous.

I see people from the gym, around town and I feel guilty. My children keep asking to go back to the gym. I need to sit down, and figure out a training schedule and stick to it. I've been runnning, at least that's something. But I know the diet has to change or I won't progress and make my goals like I want to.

My next 5K is Sunday. I'm looking forward to it and spending the day in San Francisco afterward with friends.

Update

I'm still struggling daily but I'm still trying to put one foot in front of the other. Life is full of peaks and valleys. Ups and downs. I might be in a valley now, but I know it's just temporary. God's grace will pull me through.

For now, I'm thinking of all the stressors that brought me here and evaluating my life. There are some things I can not controll and yet there are so many things, that I can. What can I change? has been the question I ponder most. What will help me feel better... even if temporarily.

God. Family. Friends. Exercise. I'm getting better with my running. Each and every run. I'm now up to running 2.5 miles. I'm sure I can run longer too ... on a good day. I'm playing softball 1-2 nights a week. I love the game. My daughter is officially on summer break around starting this afternoon! I have a great group of friend and a great family. Even on days, when I might be angry or down. Life has been tough on our marriage lately, but we both want to and are determined work through it. That in it'self is a blessing. <3

My friend's son graduated high school last night. The principal gave a really long speach... you know the kind... b-o-r-i-ng! But one thing rang out for me... A goal not written down is rarely achieved. The whole reason I blog to commit myself to my journey and my goals. Sharing the ups and downs along the way.

Goal Accomplished

Last week, I made a few goals. My first goal was to be able to completely run one mile. We also wanted to start using the weekend to do a long run.

Saturday, was filled with softball. My daughter's team is having an awesome season. We had two games on Saturday, won both.

Sunday morning, Mother's day, was also filled with softball. It's a good thing I love the game. Zumara and I decided to go for a long run. We mapped our run before hand. I looked specifically where the 1 mile mark was. We picked a destination to run to, just outside of town. It seemed so far.

I pushed myself to run, until I hit that 1 mile mark. And you know, it really wasn't that bad or too hard. We ended up run/walking 4.5 miles. Felt amazing to hit my goal. Next week, we're going to run further :-)

Accountability

I know I need to use some type of training schedule to keep myself accountable and not over do it. Zumara and I were talking last night during our run about setting a schedule and just sticking to it - NO MATTER WHAT. Good idea but I'm always a little scared of time commitments. I know that if we push ourselves we will be back and running in no time. I think we're going to shoot for Mon, Weds, Fri nights running with a longer daytime weekend run.

Last night we ran/walked about 4 miles. I ran the first half mile, no breaks. I was able to run a bit further than the Monday night. Running makes me be more accountable with all my other food choices. When I run, I just feel better, less stressed and more confident.

We talked about our upcoming runs. How excited we are and how we want to Rock the Nike Women's Marathon. We know it's going to be very challenging. San Francisco has LOTS of hills. It will be a great experience but I DO NOT want this to be my first half marathon experience. We want to find something less expensive, closer to home and gain some confidence and experience first. Then Rock San Francisco.

And in case you were wondering what I hope to follow up Nike with.... I'm already looking for more runs, more goals and more challanges. For now, I've set my eye on this, one of the most beautiful places in CA, Big Sur.

Running Season

Zumara and I went running the other night. We ran/walked 3.5 miles. It felt good but again, we walked about half of it. I know I'm holding Zumara back. I didn't even make the first mile running. Kind of sucks, lossing so much ability.


The bright side, I'm rebuilding and I know I will get there. My goal for now, to be able to run 1 mile. Yeah, the same goal I set January 2010. Then - build on it.


I have previously mentioned I am excited about this running season. This is what I'm looking forward to.

Women's Fitness Festival.

The women's festival was my favorite 5K last year. Nike is one of the sponsors, Kaiser has a huge pressence and Whole Foods!! Gourmet buffet breakfast by Whole Foods. Love them! The atmosphere is amazing and the swag was awesome. I'm looking forward to this event.

Wharf to Wharf

Running from Santa Cruz to Capitola, with ocean views? Who could ask for anything more? This 6 mile run will be breath taking and fun. Bands and street performers are along the route to keep you motivated. But really Santa Cruz is beautiful, what more could you ask for. This run sells out every year. When I heard about this run last year, it was already sold out. This year, I made a point to register early. It sold out in about 3 weeks! It will be Crazy Fun!

Of course, I will be running in other events too but these + training will get me prepared for the event of the season.

The Nike Women's Marathon.

ETA: I'm participating in the HALF Marathon. Full marathon is still MUCH further than I want to run... haha

Two sold out events. Races that I've wanted to run for more than a year. I couldn't be more excited.

Starting Over

I'm starting over. From square one with running. It's a little overwhellming know if I am going to be prepared for the 2011 season, I have to start running now. My ankle feels healed, but my muscles are weak. I have to ease myself into it.

After softball last night, I decided to go running. I uploaded Imapmyfitness into my iphone. It's an app that was highly recommended. I met Zumara at her house and we ran together. It was really a run walk. About a mile into it, I could really feel my ankle and my knees. I want to make sure I don't re-injure myself. So I have to be careful.

We ended up walking most of it, but at least we were still moving. According tot he gps on mymyfitness, we went 4.74 miles. Not bad for starting over. In fact, even though I'm starting over I know I'm ahead of where I was last year. That is because this year, I KNOW I can do it and NOTHING is impossible. Before, I was always pushing the envelope and the goal into unknown territory. This time, I know I can do it. I just have to commit. And with my running goals, I am committed. =)

Oh and did I mention, today I'm sore... yeah my hamstrings are a burning!

Nike Women's Marathon

20,000 women, running the streets of San Francisco together. Running with Nike sponsoring the event. Raising awareness for a great cause. Great Nike Loot and a Tiffany's finisher's neckless. Who could resist? Every year the run sells out so quickly, Nike has created a random drawing to select it's participants. I have many runner friends who have entered and never been selected.

I entered in to the Nike Women's Marathon random drawing. I haven't been running much lately and I know the chances of being picked in the random drawing are slim. I entered anyway but... you just never know...

I was picked!

I opened my email this morning, just like any other morning and I notice something in there from Nike. I opened it up, read it twice.... I'll save you from the whole email but here is the nitty gritty... "You're IN, baby!" And I'm so excited!

Motivation... I'm running the half marathon and I've gotta get running! :-) I' m so excited about the 2011 running season, I've got several great races I'm looking forward too!

SOS Run

Opening day for softball was cancelled due to the weather. What does this mean, you might ask? Well, it means my morning is open to run. Yes, I said it, run. Tomorrow, is the SOS 5K run. This time, last year I was preparing myself for this very same run yet only it was my first run. I was determined to run the whole thing but most of all, I wanted to finish. I didn't know if I really *could*. I was very emotional, and over joyed that I could participate in an event like this. I felt like I was being a positive role model for my daughter, taking back my health on stride at a time.

This year, I know I will walk a good portion of the 5K. I will run some too. It means something different to me this year, it's more sentimental and I'm focusing on getting back to where I was pre-injury. Tomorrow, I will get up early and register myself, and my 8 year old daughter. We're taking on the 5K, together <3

Relief

A wound up ball of stress has been walking around my house waiting to explode lately. I've been angry and short tempered with my hubby, with everyone, with life. I've got a lot going on in my personal life and political stuff with an organization that I'm involved in. And throw in starting up our own business, I'm sure you can imagine why I haven't blogged as much lately or stayed true to coarse with my diet/exercise plans.





It's the end of the rope now though. I'm walking the plank and there just are no more excuses. My ankle is on the road to recovery. I know I can't do what I was doing back in November physcially and that I have to start all over again. But that' s ok. I'm not strating over, I'm continuing on. I know that I can make good choices with diet and exercise. I have and I will again.



Last night in bed, Rich asked me when I was going to run again. He did so in a kind gentle way letting me know that he knows I need a release. He knows I'm a ticking time bomb that can explode. He wants to prevent that and be supportive. He knows how much running means to me and more importantly how much I (and the whole family) benefit from it. What is that saying, "A happy wife makes a happy life!"



Tonight, my friend Zumara called and asked if I wanted to go to the gym tonight. I've been so stressed, busy, scared of reinjuring myself, and making excuses I haven't been consistent enouogh with my excercise/going back to the gym. I decided that if I felt up to it, after I put the girls to bed, I would go. At dinner, Rich said he was planning on going tonight but I could go instead. So sweet of him <3 he knew it was in OUR best interest for me to get some "me time" at the gym.

I worked out on the floor doing the various weight machines. And I ran! Yes, I ran! Ok well, actually I ran walked for 20 minutes. I did intervals because I wanted to be aware of my body/injury. I didn't want to over do it on my first "attempt " to run. I ran for the first 5 minutes. The first 2 minutes were so hard but it felt ***SO*** good. Yeah, I know 1.3 miles isn't a lot and it's nothing compared to what I was doing. But from where I am now, it was a really good start. My ankle doesn't hurt, although it doesn't feel exactly normal. I think I'm on the road to rebuilding and recovery.

I came home, happy with a clear head and open heart and well just feeling relief.

I just love the gym <3

Catch Up

So many things have come up that I've wanted to blog about, but I was busy at the time and just couldn't stop and sit down.... Hmmm Now, what was it that I wanted to say? haha

I want to run. Yes, I know you know this. But the last several weeks I've been under so much stress, scrutiny and I just need an outlet. There were so many things that I felt like I needed to run off. Physically though, I just can't. I can tell I'm getting better now though. I'm hopeful that by the end of February, I will be running again. My ankle seems to look more normal, more stable and I'm in less pain. But I can tell it's not as strong as it should be before I go out and run again. I can't even begin to explain how much my mind and body begs for a nice long run.

Saturday, I was crying to Rich. I feel overwhelmed like I'm being pulled in 100 different directions. Between family obligations, softball and our investment I've had little time for me. Which again, is one reason I NEED to run. It helps me cope. Very sweetly, my husband understands and offers to take me on a date. We went out for dinner at the Diamond Back Grill and planned on going bowling together afterwards. We ended up going to Black Oak Casino to go bowling but because it was a weekend the lanes were $25 per hour, not bad if you're going as a group but very pricey for just two people. We ended up playing nickle slot machines and set a budget for our cost of entertainment. Rich lost $20 and I won $10. So basically, we spent $10 on entertainment and enjoyed an evening together. This was both of our first times going to Black Oak, neither of us are big gambler types and didn't set out to go gambling that evening. It just sort of happened but we had fun.

We picked up the girls from the sitter and went to bed. In the morning, we laid around in bed until about noon. - Amazing for us. Rich and I talked and really reconnected. We hadn't been on a date, in about 18 months - 2 years. Too long, I know. Reconnecting and dating is so important to a healthy marriage. We both realize this and hope to have more dates soon. We loved laying in bed and talking to each other all morning, cuddling. It really felt like our date hadn't ended. Amazing I tell you. I feel so blessed to have Rich.

Speaking of blessings. I know I need to pray more. Running can not be my only emotional outltet. I have to rely more on God to help me deal with things when I'm frustrated and overwhelmed. I know a good long talk with God is in order. Even if nothing changes, I know it's important to talk with God.

I had a moment today. A moment of pure joy and bliss. I did laundry and was digging out my pants. I lifted them up and was looking at them. The just seemed so small and cute. I wondered how they could possibly fit me. I sat there and starred at my pants for a good long while. Then, instead of getting dressed I decided to take care of me and take a nice long bath.

My Running Buddy

Zumara, my running buddy got up at 6:30 am and ran 10 miles in the rain. I was so proud of her. It's her first time running in a race without me. Originally, we were supposed to run our first half marathon(s) today. Obviously, plans changed due to my injury. She was nervous about running and almost didn't: it was rainy, it wasn't very organized because it was a free run and you could choose your mileage up to 50 miles. This picture was taken at the 6 mile mark. Did you check out her legs? I'm envious... Did I mention it was early, cold and wet?

I slept in a little longer than I should have but I got up and met her and the 4,5,6, and 8 mile marks. Then back at the finish line. I miss running. I want to sign up for an event but I know my foot/ankle isn't ready yet. I don't know when it will be. Hopefully, soon. All I can do is be supportive for my runner friends.

Zumara was amazing this morning. Check out her legs. I'm so proud of her.

Too Much Too Soon

Mondays are often struggles for me. I struggle with finding the motivation to get out of the house and back to the gym after the weekend. I always feel so accomplished one I'm there. Yesterday, was no different and I got a great workout, Spin in.

I had a busy day Christmas shopping. I've spent the entire weekend shopping but didn't really buy anything, I had my girls with me and just wanted to get ideas for everyone. I made a Costco trip and went to the mall before I had to pick up my daughter from school. We got our Christmas tree yesterday too. It's so pretty.

After the girls went to bed, I went for my run with Zumara. My ankle had been doing fine. No soreness at all and it felt stronger. All day, I kept thinking it was healed. About a mile into our run, I hear a Popping and grinding sound. My ankle was unstable, it hurt and it couldn't support my weight. I sat there, in agony, and cried. I had Zumara call Richard to come pick me up. I couldn't talk it hurt so bad. There was no way I would have made it home on my own.

I'm so disappointed in my self and with my body. No run is worth an injury and now, I've re-injured myself worse than the original injury. Why? I push myself hard. I pushed myself too hard too soon. Obviously, my body wasn't ready for running yet and I thought I could do it. Too much too soon.

This injury means, no Holiday run this weekend in Venice/Santa Monica with the rest of my family. This injury probably means no running for the rest of December. This injury probably means no half marathon January 2nd.

I struggled so much last week to get back into things after taking time off last time. Then, to be taking more time off not only with running but at the gym. It's going to set me back. I'm going to have to build up my running abilities again. Not to mention the struggles I will have with my weight loss. It's disappointing to say the least.

Back in the Saddle Again

After my sidelining injury over two weeks ago, I went back to the gym today. It was so hard to convince myself to go. Yet felt so good just to be there. My ankle is still slightly swollen and slightly bruised but it no longer hurts. It just feels weak.

I've ran on it twice since the fall. Thanksgiving day and last night. Both times about 3 miles. My first half marathon is coming up soon, January 2nd and I need to be ready. It's only about 5 weeks away.

The Santa Monica - Venice Christmas Run is coming up even sooner on December 11th. I'm debating which run to sign up for the 10K which is a more challenging distance or the 5K that the rest of the family is doing. In all honesty, I'd really like to do both. My reasoning is I won't feel satisfied with just running a 5K as it's not challenging enough for me BUT Mariyn (and a lot of our family) is going to run it so I want to run it and support her. To run both would be really good training for my half marathon . . . as you can see, I'm torn.

Today, I did body pump and cycle. I haven't weighed in and I don't really want to. I didn't want to face the damage today and be a downer. I might weigh in tomorrow. One of my friends at the gym said I was looking thinner. I don't really think that is even possible. I was fairly active painting my house, working on projects and cleaning but I know I didn't make the best food choices and I know how important diet is.

Since my ankle was still weak and it's been 3 weeks since I've done any weight training, I didn't lift as heavy as I normally do. I still pushed myself though, in cycle I could feel my ankle was getting tired and worn out but not sore. Did I mention it felt so good to go back to my normal routine? I missed my workouts, my gym friend and I think they missed me. It's good to be back and besides being sidelined due to pain, I really think I needed the break to mentally re-charge it was a good break.

A lot of ladies at the gym are getting certified to become body pump instructors and cycle instructors. Part of me really wants to do this, but the other part of me doesn't. It's so expensive and just not practical (time or financially) for us right now with our investment coming along. One day, I'd love to do some sort of personal or group training for women who want to achieve their goals by completing events like triathlons or runs. I really think I'd love it and could be good at it... but I have to get more accomplishments under my belt too.

Post Thanksgiving

While most diet bloggers were making plans to survive the holiday, I was not. Intentionally, I did not plan. Is this failure to plan, essentially planning to fail? We will have to wait it out and see. Last year, I dieted during the holidays and I do not regret it. I did great. This year, I did not want to restrict myself. I wanted to enjoy Thanksgiving for a holiday it truly is meant to be, a feast surrounded by family. So I did. No guilt involved.

We celebrated Thanksgiving at our house this year. My younger sister helped me prepare my house by painting and cleaning all week. We picked a pale but cheery yellow and finally painted the kitchen. Only took 18 months to do it, but now my kitchen looks great -well for my kitchen. Before my kitchen barely looked live-able now it looks lovely. Well except the flooring from the 70's that I would love to be able to replace. I worked hard on my house from the time I woke up and got the kids off to school until 11pm and night when I was ready for bed all week. I was exhausted by the time family actually started to arrive on Weds night.,

I didn't make it to the gym at all. I miss it but my ankle wasn't healed all the way and I was busy. My ankle is still slightly swollen but feeling stronger. Thursday morning, Adrienne at Chronicles of a Curvy Housewife and I ran the Turkey Trot 5K. I was really worried about my ankle and being able to complete it.


Above: Mariyn and I by the start line
Below: Davey, Adrienne and I before the race.





There were so many people at the Turkey Trot, my guess nearly 2000 runners (kids included). It was freezing cold but still had a great turn out. The cold air felt like ice hitting your lungs, at times it hurt. It was non-electronic timing with a cross country style start and so the results aren't exact. There was a lot of congestion at both the start and finish line. So it took away from peoples time, mine included. The clock stated 30 mins 9 seconds when I crossed the finish line. That my friends, even with a bum ankle is my personal record. It's been several months since I've ran a timed 5K. Mariyn ran the 1/2 mile kids run, she was so cold but had a lot of fun. She was very proud of her finishers medal and her cousins were envious.
Mariyn post race with her medal and grandma.

Thanksgiving went off without a hitch. 12 people in my home a delicious meal. It had all the traditional fatty items like mashed potatoes, gravy and stuffing plus a few new healthier treats like my cauliflower broccoli cranberry salad. I enjoyed the day. Just like I wanted to because really, it's not Thanksgiving Day that makes you fat. Is it? It's the over eating and lack of moving every other day of the year. It's the feasting on the leftovers until you are stuffed to the gills. It's the lack of self control to say no thank you to food and the lack of motivation to get you off the couch to exercise. It's the every day choice we make that contribute to our lifestyle. I'm not going to fret over on what I ate for Thanksgiving. I ate a lot, I was active and I'm moving on.

Quite frankly I know I'm not at goal weight but with God's grace I will soon be.
I however AM living a healthy lifestyle each and every day. Isn't that what being at goal is all about?
Thanksgiving Day post feast.

Weekend Wrap Up

Covered Bridge in Knights Ferry, CA

I've had a good weekend. As I mentioned before, my girls had Thursday and Friday off because of Veteran's Day. I'm so thankful for all our vets have done and I'm really thankful to have had an extra couple days with my girls. We spent time with my aunt and her family. Adrienne (my cousins wife) at Chronicles of a Curvy Housewife and I got to spend time together too. It was nice and she is looking much trimmer than last time I saw her. We went on a nice bike ride, I rode one of my aunt's bikes. Kinda funny riding someone else's bike but it was good. Our kids got to play together and had so much fun. Amelia loved Shane. So cute.

Thursday night I had dinner with two of my very bestest friends. My girls stayed with my Aunt and family so it felt like an official girls night out. We had sushi and I'm pretty sure it was healthy (or disguised as) and I didn't over eat. After dinner, we went back to my friend's house and she gave me a bunch of shirts. I felt so incredibly blessed and thankful. They're super cute too! My younger sister, Ricki bought me a few new shirts this week too. So I'm far less stressed about having clothes to wear. I feel so loved, so thankful and so blessed. God is so good and he does provide for all of our needs.

The girls and I came home Friday night and spend Saturday around the house relaxing, it felt really good. We went to a craft fair and seen an old friend. She had to tell me about my high school sweet heart and what he is up to. Let's just say I feel so incredibly thankful for my life and blessed. The whole, thanking God for unanswered prayers. It really puts perspective on my life and how good it is.

I went running this afternoon in Knights Ferry with Zumara. It's such a beautiful place along the river, rustic, peaceful and full of nature's beauty. Bonus it's not too far away from home. I'm not sure how far we ran but we did a lot of trails and hill work. It was so beautiful and the hills were pretty steep. The terrain was comparable with our mud run but probably steeper (with the exception of one hill) but we both handled it a lot better. It felt easier probably because we knew what to expect and are familiar with the area.
Knights Ferry is a historic place and is so beautiful. There were A LOT of photographers out there doing portraits tonight, at least 3 different parties if not more. Must be that holiday time of year, getting ready to send out the family photos and Christmas cards.

The run felt good and peaceful. We seen a family of deer too so we stopped and watched them for a while. We ran for about an hour and 15 minutes, who knows how many miles it's not an area you can easily map. We ran until sunset and started heading back. About 100 feet before the end of the trail, I fell to the ground. I lost footing on some rocks and my ankle gave out. It's sore and swollen but not injured too bad. I think I'll have to rest it but I'll be back to training soon. This is the exact reason, I do not like to run alone. You never know when you are going to get hurt and will need help. Luckily, I was able to get back up (it took a minute) and we were just about done with our run. I hobbled back to the car and have been babying my ankle all night. I'm sure I will see the real damage in the morning. I see more cycle and less running in my future this week. Even though I hurt myself, the run was incredible and I hope to be able to do it again soon. Zumara enjoyed it too.


I need to get better shoes for trail running, regular running shoes just don't provide the support you want/need on trails.