I'm not sure what it was but today was killer. There was a sub in body pump today and she wasn't as hard as Dana. Still I pushed myself to lift heavy weights but when doing so I noticed that my body felt very fatigued. What was I doing wrong? Am I doing something different I wondered? At certain points in the routine, I really felt dizzy and light headed as if I was going to pass out. So I put the weights down and took a break as needed. The only things I could come up with that were really different was A) I ran 3 miles after 9 pm last night and B) I had a light dinner - chicken salad and my regular protein shake for breakfast. I really think my body probably burnt off dinner quickly and the protein shake wasn't enough to get me through the fatigue and through the class. I'm always careful about what I have for breakfast Tuesday morning because I don't want to weigh in with a full tummy. It's just not fair in my eyes. Luckily, I brought a nectarine with me today and I had that between classes. I perked up my energy levels a lot and took away the dizziness.
Also between classes, I weighed in. I have about 10-15 minutes between classes that I use the restroom, weigh in, check on the kids and set up my bike. Today, I weighed in at 195 on the trainers scale! Back to 195 so a pound down from last week! As long as if I stay good with my foods, I should be losing again, in no time. Weigh in today proved to me how much my at home scale fluctuates. I know I didn't gain 2 lbs yesterday. Just my scale is inconsistent and well, my weight probably fluctuates too. Here is to losing more next week!!!
Cycle was very challenging today as well, which is why I thought maybe the running late last night wasn't enough time for my body to fully recover. I think running is something I can add to my routine at night, when I can, it will just take a couple of weeks for my body to adjust and not feel so tired in the morning. Guess we will see. Proper nutrition is really important though. I know if i exert my body that way again, I'll have to treat it better in the morning with a better breakfast.
I'm on track with my foods. Protein shake for breakfast, nectarine for snack, tuna sandwich on Orowheat thin with a side of strawberries, blueberries and blackberries for lunch. I think we're either going to have chicken kabobs for dinner or a bison burger. Not sure, but I know it will be healthy.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Monday, July 19, 2010
Today was a good day
Today was a good day ::imagain Ice Cube::: lol. It was a really good day though - very busy. I got up early, Mariyn started vacation bible school today. She seemed to really like it and I'm glad. It's not our church because I haven't been committeed enough to go to church regularly but it is the church we tend to do activities with and consider our church. I really need to start going back to church, I feel like my life goes so much better when I'm attending church, learning and living God's word.
I had to drop Mariyn off and register her at 7:30 am. Yeah very early for us!
After Mariyn was off to VBS, I needed to go take care of Richard's ticket by 8am. Took care of it - got a postponement. I wanted to pay the fine and get traffic school for him but he has to actually do that himself and go before the judge. Not something I could do for him.
I also hit up Costco,Walmart and a regular grocery store. We needed food and household stuff. I ended up spending a lot of money but like I said, it was needed. One reason, I ate out so much last week as because we NEEDED food. I got lots of good FRESH foods: fruits, vegtables, chicken and bison. I told Rich there would be no eating out this week, I'm going to cook.
Tonight, I made a rottisserie chicken salad for dinner. I had California Rolls for lunch, yogurt w/ blueberries for snack, and honey bunches of oats w. light soy milk for breakfast. So, I'm thinking I did pretty well - today.
I got in my fair share of exercise in tonight. Cardio kickboxing was good. Then I came home made dinner. After dinner, I went for a run with my gym friend Zumara. We ran 3 miles, we're both looking forward to our next 5K on Sat night. I almost talked myself out of running tonight because I was so tired from running around but my competitive drive kicked in. I want to lose my 20lbs before Richard. He called me today just to taunt me, saying he already lost a pound. Ughh! Men - it's so easy for them. Of course, I weighed myself after that too and the scale was down for me too. Who knows though, his scale is so inconsistant. I am looking forward to weigh in tomorrow. Hopefully it's a good one :)
I had to drop Mariyn off and register her at 7:30 am. Yeah very early for us!
After Mariyn was off to VBS, I needed to go take care of Richard's ticket by 8am. Took care of it - got a postponement. I wanted to pay the fine and get traffic school for him but he has to actually do that himself and go before the judge. Not something I could do for him.
I also hit up Costco,Walmart and a regular grocery store. We needed food and household stuff. I ended up spending a lot of money but like I said, it was needed. One reason, I ate out so much last week as because we NEEDED food. I got lots of good FRESH foods: fruits, vegtables, chicken and bison. I told Rich there would be no eating out this week, I'm going to cook.
Tonight, I made a rottisserie chicken salad for dinner. I had California Rolls for lunch, yogurt w/ blueberries for snack, and honey bunches of oats w. light soy milk for breakfast. So, I'm thinking I did pretty well - today.
I got in my fair share of exercise in tonight. Cardio kickboxing was good. Then I came home made dinner. After dinner, I went for a run with my gym friend Zumara. We ran 3 miles, we're both looking forward to our next 5K on Sat night. I almost talked myself out of running tonight because I was so tired from running around but my competitive drive kicked in. I want to lose my 20lbs before Richard. He called me today just to taunt me, saying he already lost a pound. Ughh! Men - it's so easy for them. Of course, I weighed myself after that too and the scale was down for me too. Who knows though, his scale is so inconsistant. I am looking forward to weigh in tomorrow. Hopefully it's a good one :)
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Cheating and the big bet
As I sat down at Farmer Boys for dinner last night, slurping my raspberry tea I got to thinking. A lot of my old habbits are back. We've eaten out every night this week. Not only that, but I've noticed I've ordered a drink instead of just having water. I've eaten whatever I want and finished just about all of my food. Until I was stuffed - and I mean stuffed full. How did this start? How did I get so off track? Little by little, I started cheating. I started wanting to eat more normal. Then, I ate a little bit more or tried something else, I haven't had in a while. I'm still exercising like crazy, so I haven't gained weight back but I am not living the healthy lifestyle I should be. Why? I noticed I've been feeling like I always eat the same thing, tired of salad - wanting more variety. I've been making excuses that it's ok I haven't been lossing weight as quickly. I'm not gaining and I've got this going on or that. Not an excuse if I am dieting. I should be doing much better.
Richard hasn't been going to the gym. He still hasn't been lossing any weight. If anything I think he helps sabatoge my dieting. I know he is supportive and wants me to lose weight but his actions are different than his words. I know he also wants to lose weight but his job is making it difficult and he doesn't have much motivation for himself either. So this morning, I was laying in bed thinking. I could hear Richard got up and was in the bathroom weighing himself. I'm pretty sure we have about the same amount of weight to lose. I asked him how much he weighs --243. I know he wants to weigh between 200-220. He is 6'2". I really want him to be healthier for himself and for our family.
I got to thinking, how can I get re-motivated and get back on track with my diet? How can I help Richard be more successful in his weight loss? Richard and I agreed to a little contest or bet if you would say. We are competing in weight loss. Who will lose 20lbs first? If he wins, he will get husband favors....I'm sure you can use your imagination. If I win, I get a real date. Yes,I know I am crazy to compete with a guy. Not really fair, I know but I want him to be motivated. And I really think that if he wins, we both win anyways because he is going to be SO much hotter ;-) Don't get me wrong though, I am one competitive girl, I do not like to lose at all - so I will be doing my best to lose that 20lbs. In order to be fair, he asked me how much I weighed -- 195, I told him. He made me weigh myself at home in front of him --194 lbs. I know that appears to be weight loss from last week. Amazing I thought, I ate like crap all week. I didn't exercise on Friday either. But I know my scale at home is inconsistent. That's why I normally don't use it. My goal, to lose 20lbs before the hubby... The race is on...
Richard hasn't been going to the gym. He still hasn't been lossing any weight. If anything I think he helps sabatoge my dieting. I know he is supportive and wants me to lose weight but his actions are different than his words. I know he also wants to lose weight but his job is making it difficult and he doesn't have much motivation for himself either. So this morning, I was laying in bed thinking. I could hear Richard got up and was in the bathroom weighing himself. I'm pretty sure we have about the same amount of weight to lose. I asked him how much he weighs --243. I know he wants to weigh between 200-220. He is 6'2". I really want him to be healthier for himself and for our family.
I got to thinking, how can I get re-motivated and get back on track with my diet? How can I help Richard be more successful in his weight loss? Richard and I agreed to a little contest or bet if you would say. We are competing in weight loss. Who will lose 20lbs first? If he wins, he will get husband favors....I'm sure you can use your imagination. If I win, I get a real date. Yes,I know I am crazy to compete with a guy. Not really fair, I know but I want him to be motivated. And I really think that if he wins, we both win anyways because he is going to be SO much hotter ;-) Don't get me wrong though, I am one competitive girl, I do not like to lose at all - so I will be doing my best to lose that 20lbs. In order to be fair, he asked me how much I weighed -- 195, I told him. He made me weigh myself at home in front of him --194 lbs. I know that appears to be weight loss from last week. Amazing I thought, I ate like crap all week. I didn't exercise on Friday either. But I know my scale at home is inconsistent. That's why I normally don't use it. My goal, to lose 20lbs before the hubby... The race is on...
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Emo
Yeah - I was very emotional all day. I just sort of needed to be left alone to deal with my thoughts and emotions. I took a lot of them out on food... -ugh! Just when I thought I was doing better with my emotional eating. Old habits kick in again.
We had taco bell for dinner. Yeah I know, I know ::hangs head::: I'm cooking tomorrow night, I swear. Good news, I made it to the gym tonight. I did Zumba, it's a fun sort of pick me up kind of class. I figured it would get my exercise in and hopefully my mood will improve too. I believe in my heart that even though I'm down and out, God is really good. Things could be worse, a whole lot worse and I am truly blessed. It's just shaking the human part, the emotional part of rejection and having unfortunate things (trials if you will)happen. They say things come in threes and well, in the last two days I've had 3 negative things happen. So hopefully, I'm over it for a while.
After Zumba, I talked to one of my gym friends and we decided to go running together tonight. Rich was off so it happened to work out perfectly. It's been a while since I've gone running outside. Probably since my last 5K. The Valley heat is insane and unbearable to run, during the days at least. Who wants to run when it's 100 degrees outside. Umm no thank you! LOL I needed the time alone (by that Iu mean away from the kids and hubby) to reflect and just get this emotional bagage out of my heart and off my mind. Anyways, we got in a full 3 miles! I feel a lot better too. Maybe it will counter balance the junk food I ate earlier? Maybe, lol. Maybe, not!
My next running event has been decided. June 24th the Davisvillle Moo-nlight Half Mararthon and 5K. I really want to do the half marathon, but it's $50. The 5K is only $25. A few of my friends say that want to run it too, so we are probably going to do the 5K together. It looks like a really good -and fun- event! Something to look forward too.
Philippians 4:6-20
6 Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. 7 And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. 8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. 9 Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you. 10 But I rejoiced in the Lord greatly, that now at the last your care of me hath flourished again; wherein ye were also careful, but ye lacked opportunity. 11 Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. 12 I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. 13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. 14 Notwithstanding ye have well done, that ye did communicate with my affliction. 15 Now ye Philippians know also, that in the beginning of the gospel, when I departed from Macedonia, no church communicated with me as concerning giving and receiving, but ye only. 16 For even in Thessalonica ye sent once and again unto my necessity. 17 Not because I desire a gift: but I desire fruit that may abound to your account. 18 But I have all, and abound: I am full, having received of Epaphroditus the things which were sent from you, an odour of a sweet smell, a sacrifice acceptable, wellpleasing to God. 19 But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus. 20 Now unto God and our Father be glory for ever and ever. Amen.
We had taco bell for dinner. Yeah I know, I know ::hangs head::: I'm cooking tomorrow night, I swear. Good news, I made it to the gym tonight. I did Zumba, it's a fun sort of pick me up kind of class. I figured it would get my exercise in and hopefully my mood will improve too. I believe in my heart that even though I'm down and out, God is really good. Things could be worse, a whole lot worse and I am truly blessed. It's just shaking the human part, the emotional part of rejection and having unfortunate things (trials if you will)happen. They say things come in threes and well, in the last two days I've had 3 negative things happen. So hopefully, I'm over it for a while.
After Zumba, I talked to one of my gym friends and we decided to go running together tonight. Rich was off so it happened to work out perfectly. It's been a while since I've gone running outside. Probably since my last 5K. The Valley heat is insane and unbearable to run, during the days at least. Who wants to run when it's 100 degrees outside. Umm no thank you! LOL I needed the time alone (by that Iu mean away from the kids and hubby) to reflect and just get this emotional bagage out of my heart and off my mind. Anyways, we got in a full 3 miles! I feel a lot better too. Maybe it will counter balance the junk food I ate earlier? Maybe, lol. Maybe, not!
My next running event has been decided. June 24th the Davisvillle Moo-nlight Half Mararthon and 5K. I really want to do the half marathon, but it's $50. The 5K is only $25. A few of my friends say that want to run it too, so we are probably going to do the 5K together. It looks like a really good -and fun- event! Something to look forward too.
Philippians 4:6-20
6 Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. 7 And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. 8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. 9 Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you. 10 But I rejoiced in the Lord greatly, that now at the last your care of me hath flourished again; wherein ye were also careful, but ye lacked opportunity. 11 Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. 12 I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. 13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. 14 Notwithstanding ye have well done, that ye did communicate with my affliction. 15 Now ye Philippians know also, that in the beginning of the gospel, when I departed from Macedonia, no church communicated with me as concerning giving and receiving, but ye only. 16 For even in Thessalonica ye sent once and again unto my necessity. 17 Not because I desire a gift: but I desire fruit that may abound to your account. 18 But I have all, and abound: I am full, having received of Epaphroditus the things which were sent from you, an odour of a sweet smell, a sacrifice acceptable, wellpleasing to God. 19 But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus. 20 Now unto God and our Father be glory for ever and ever. Amen.
Rejected
I got an email notification this morning -- I didn't get the job. Even though, I know it must not be God's plan for me, I'm upset and dissappointed. I'm really tired of not working - not being able to find a job - and the stress of this on my family and marriage. I've taken it out on a bag of Doritos. Probably not the best idea. I'm feeding the kids lunch now then, I'm going to take a nap.
I'm going to pray about it later. God knows my heart and has my best interest in mind. I know I'm learning a lesson or there is a reason. It's just hard to accept and really know what direction I should be going.
I'm going to pray about it later. God knows my heart and has my best interest in mind. I know I'm learning a lesson or there is a reason. It's just hard to accept and really know what direction I should be going.
WAITING
I had such a busy day yesterday by the time I got home I was exhausted. So yeah no blog time. I had my interview in the morning. We had to all get up, dressed and out of the house before 8:30 am. I think it went well and am hoping the opportunity is offered to me but it's in God's hands now. I'm trying to be patient and WAITing to hear back. It's hard though, I'm anxious and I just want to know so I can move on appropriately. It's so hard, the waiting process. I would be extatic to get the job and can even deal with the disappointment of rejection because I would know it's not what God wants for me. But the WAIT is the hardest part.
I got a lot of phone calls yesterday asking how my entire view went, if I got the job, when will I hear, etc. I know I am highly educated and have been out of work for the past year and am very qualified to work in a lot of different aspects BUT there really aren't that many jobs out there especially that can pay what I need to earn in order to pay my bills and help provide for the family. I'm not going to accept a low paying job and put my kid in daycare just for the sake of working. I know God gave me the time off to focus on myself and my family. When this time is no longer needed, a great job will be offered to me. He will let me know. I just need to keep reminding myself of this and not let everyone's "I really hope you get this job" get to me. It sort of makes me feel like I am letting everyone down if an opportunity isn't offered to me. Yesterday I was so nervous I woke up nauseous and felt that way all day. I have NEVER been like that before because of nerves.
Immediately after my interview, I picked up my girls and we headed to the gym. During my drive I got a call from Rich. Apparently his ATM card didn't work and I thought we had more than enough money in our account. Ahhh... Money stress I called the bank and dealt with that. Of course, I'm fuming mad because a check someone wrote to us bounced...which in turn caused us to not the money we thought we had in our account. Mistakes happen, it's life, just got to deal with it right? I know but immediately I was so angry. Good thing I was at the gym, because I got my anger and frustration out on my routine and running. I felt so much better after running and my line of thinking was re-framed. I ran the entire 30 mintues, except for the times I drank water. I can't run and drink water at the same time, lol, too messy.
I really went through so many emotions yesterday, excitment, anxious, nervous, angry.. I was an emotional wreck. I stuffed my face literally all afternoon because I was anxious. Darn it... not good for the diet! But good news is today is a new day, back on the wagon. Not sure when I'm going to go to the gym today or what I'm gong to do, but I know I'll go. I'm thinking about going tonight and doing Zumba and Yoga or Cycle... We shall see! In the meantime, I've got plenty of household stuff to keep me busy as I wait.
I got a lot of phone calls yesterday asking how my entire view went, if I got the job, when will I hear, etc. I know I am highly educated and have been out of work for the past year and am very qualified to work in a lot of different aspects BUT there really aren't that many jobs out there especially that can pay what I need to earn in order to pay my bills and help provide for the family. I'm not going to accept a low paying job and put my kid in daycare just for the sake of working. I know God gave me the time off to focus on myself and my family. When this time is no longer needed, a great job will be offered to me. He will let me know. I just need to keep reminding myself of this and not let everyone's "I really hope you get this job" get to me. It sort of makes me feel like I am letting everyone down if an opportunity isn't offered to me. Yesterday I was so nervous I woke up nauseous and felt that way all day. I have NEVER been like that before because of nerves.
Immediately after my interview, I picked up my girls and we headed to the gym. During my drive I got a call from Rich. Apparently his ATM card didn't work and I thought we had more than enough money in our account. Ahhh... Money stress I called the bank and dealt with that. Of course, I'm fuming mad because a check someone wrote to us bounced...which in turn caused us to not the money we thought we had in our account. Mistakes happen, it's life, just got to deal with it right? I know but immediately I was so angry. Good thing I was at the gym, because I got my anger and frustration out on my routine and running. I felt so much better after running and my line of thinking was re-framed. I ran the entire 30 mintues, except for the times I drank water. I can't run and drink water at the same time, lol, too messy.
I really went through so many emotions yesterday, excitment, anxious, nervous, angry.. I was an emotional wreck. I stuffed my face literally all afternoon because I was anxious. Darn it... not good for the diet! But good news is today is a new day, back on the wagon. Not sure when I'm going to go to the gym today or what I'm gong to do, but I know I'll go. I'm thinking about going tonight and doing Zumba and Yoga or Cycle... We shall see! In the meantime, I've got plenty of household stuff to keep me busy as I wait.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Weigh In 7-13
Accountability, right? That's why I weigh in every Tuesday. I knew today wasn't going to be a great weigh in day. I had a more active vacation but it was just that, a vacation. I ate a bit more than I should have, birthday cake, anyone? With that said, I'm getting back on track with my diet and I didn't do as bad as I thought. Today's weigh in 196.1, still not my lowest but I'm almost back there and just about the same (a tad less) than last week. So not bad at all. Next week will be a true loss! I know it!
Body pump today was killer and I do mean killer. I've been doing a lot of weight - enough that the instructor called attention to me and said we all should be lifting heavy like me. I was actually lifting more than her and almost everyone else today. One other person was lifting the same as me, and I think it was sort of a competition to keep up. I didn't start that way, I was just lifting my weights and I looked behind me and my gym friend responded, "Don't worry, I'm gonna keep up!". Nothing wrong with a little friendly competition. HaHA Cycle was rough too. Well, maybe not so much on it's own BUT combined with pump it was HARD! I was shaking and exhausted when class was over.
Amelia's appointment went great. The speech pathologist agreed Amelia has a verbal delay in language acquisition. Probably a year or so behind, like I thought. We will be getting the report results next week AND her insurance has already approved 6 sessions. Not a lot but it's getting us started and it's progress. She said she usually doesn't have a hard time getting insurance to approve more visits either. Most importantly, Amelia is getting services she NEEDS. We start speech therapy next week and her official diagnosis and report will be ready then.
Body pump today was killer and I do mean killer. I've been doing a lot of weight - enough that the instructor called attention to me and said we all should be lifting heavy like me. I was actually lifting more than her and almost everyone else today. One other person was lifting the same as me, and I think it was sort of a competition to keep up. I didn't start that way, I was just lifting my weights and I looked behind me and my gym friend responded, "Don't worry, I'm gonna keep up!". Nothing wrong with a little friendly competition. HaHA Cycle was rough too. Well, maybe not so much on it's own BUT combined with pump it was HARD! I was shaking and exhausted when class was over.
Amelia's appointment went great. The speech pathologist agreed Amelia has a verbal delay in language acquisition. Probably a year or so behind, like I thought. We will be getting the report results next week AND her insurance has already approved 6 sessions. Not a lot but it's getting us started and it's progress. She said she usually doesn't have a hard time getting insurance to approve more visits either. Most importantly, Amelia is getting services she NEEDS. We start speech therapy next week and her official diagnosis and report will be ready then.
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